aggressive, you know what you are dealing with. So you duly deal with it<br />
passive aggressive is a bit like being around a swinging cobra and being on tender hooks out of fear of it striking
I think the openly aggressive person is the worst because I have one in my family and omg. He has no problem fighting anyone or killing people for that matter. Then my ex is passive aggressive and he bottles stuff up and blows up from time to time. That is less stressful than a full time open aggressive person who's a hot potato.
Passive aggressive is very hard to unravel. It is hard to figure it out. Yet passive aggressive people can do as much harm as openly aggressive people. Since it takes longer to unravel what they will not admit, I find passive aggressive people harder to deal with; they not only make your life worse, they make you feel you are crazy.
Both really are very bad, but the passive agressive is the one you never know when will explode in a fit of rage and take you out.
both suck, but passive agression to me is harder to identify/pinpoint, which makes it more dangerous. it you're hurt and try to explain why, it's a lot harder to express emotional hurt than just "he spit in my face" or "she hit me"
both suck...i choose...c. no mate at all^^
If you have a passive/aggressive mate, it is confusing and hurtful until you recognize that the person is incapable of expressing themselves freely and honestly ~ then you have a new challenge: through counseling, can you two really "hear" each other and feel empathy toward one another? Can you make decisions and engage in behaviors that show you understand your issues as a couple and want to act in ways that nurture and further your partnership?<br />
If you have an openly aggressive mate, this person has not changed. You may have new couple issues, but they continue to deal with difficulties through use of control tactics, force, intimidation, manipulation using concrete actions and ob<x>jects, belittling, threats and guilt trips.<br />
You took on the aggressive mate and knew what you were dealing with. You liked the "protection" or the drama, or felt you could deal with this in exchange for personality traits or a situation you DID like in your life with them.<br />
Chances are, the passivity/aggression in the former desc<x>ription of a mate was not so noticeable in the beginning. Maybe one never saw it at all. Once a relationship hits "real life", we see how people cope ~ or fail to cope ~ with stress and responsibility in a relationship. People who cannot comfortably face reality and follow through on their convictions (due to immaturity or consciously fighting their better sense in order to get a reward) will find bizarre and inconsistent ways of expressing their many feelings about what they want, what they need, and how they feel about obstacles (you!) and things that affect their ego and their personal, selfish goals.<br />
The passive/aggressive mate is much more frustrating and hurtful in the end. They confound and betray you, leaving you stunned and questioning your own judgment. You love/hate them and it takes a while to untangle your crippled dreams and beliefs.<br />
The aggressive mate can hurt your feelings and your body, but you knew this and the outcome was predictable if not expected. What you get may be horrible, but what you saw was horrible - so there is consistency, and you can focus on the behavior after the fact; knowing you did know the person. <br />
Giving everything to someone you THOUGHT you knew is one of the worst feelings in the world.
I would always rather deal with the aggressive person. At least then you usually get a straight answer