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perseverer perseverer 51-55, F 18 Answers Nov 26, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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Dad: hopeless alcoholic<br />
"Mom": Sociopathic narcissist<br />
<br />
Answer: None of the Above

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I understand.

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Neither, truly. Both were abusive and neglectful in their own ways. I raised myself and was closest with my younger sister. Now, I am closer to my mother. I found out that during my childhood, she was medicated for schizophrenia, and that many of her delusions/her fantasy life was a byproduct of mental illness. I am attempting to secure for her a safe retirement now.

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One has to have lived through it to know the hell of it. And yet you have found the grace to understand your mother's condition and even help her in her old age. I am in awe.

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My mother because she took the time to raise me and be a parent.

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So did mine. But how sad it is to read of so many people who missed out on knowing a mother's love.

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My father,though he died almost 30 years before my mother - the extra three decades for which she lived,means that the degree of closeness with both my parents,during the different stages of my life,has been high.

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You are very blessed to have been close to both your parents.

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Thank you,that's true - unfortunately,we don't always fully appreciate it when we are young and growing up;that realisation comes later.

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wow, how interesting,<br />
neither here either, father was abusive and mother allowed it and neither knowed how to show love

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I am so sorry for you. I am also astonished to find how prevalent this kind of abusive and co-operation with abuse has been in peoples' lives.

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it is the generation of awareness that it is abuse ;)
i can't wait to see what our children have to say about our raising of them LOL

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thank you, but don't be, i learn a lot early
started my journey younger then most and happy with who i am, and with out my start, i would be me :)
everything happens for a reason.

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Mom when we were young but when we grew up Well," Dad; he was always right".

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My Dad, had a great Mom too but she had me late in life so when I was a teenager she was going through change of life. Not a good combination.

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I was distant to both but in others eyes I have been a good daughter. I have tried my best but I was not emotionally close to my parents.

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That is a great shame!

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Hmm, shame on me, until my father passed away I have cried every night that I was not good enough. Live with regret.

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I hope you didn't read my reply as criticism. I meant that it is a great shame that in spite of your devotion, your parents were unable to be closer to you.

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No I didnt take it as criticism. Its long story and I live in Asian country where people consider their family and elderly important, I felt sad that I seldom talked with him properly

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I am not close to either parent or any of my siblings. The cult and my parents contaminated my ability to get close to anyone. I even haven't been able to give and receive normal hugs to my kids without my whole body going into fight or flight response.

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You did very well to survive your terrible childhood abuse. My heart goes out to you.

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Thanks

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Honestly, none. I spent most of my life away from my family. But I guess my Dad.

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Why did you have to spend most of your life away from your family?

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There was a point where my own stupidity got me kicked out, but that's not really why.
They both work away in the mines. So I just spent that time with my brother and sister.

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I am not particularly fond of either one.

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That is sad, but I take it there is a reason. I am sorry for the gap you have in your life due to whatever it is that went wrong.

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The gap has narrowed considerably but there is still a bit of work to go and it seems to be getting better as time goes on.

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My mom, technically. I live with her but we rarely speak to each other.

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Is there a reason why you rarely speak?

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Neither. I'm closes to my brother but if I absolutely have to chose I guess my mom

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Did you feel let down by your parents?

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No they did their job they gave me life it was up to me to make it good or bad I just don't really talk to either much

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Mother

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Neither.

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Is that because you love them both or because you disdain them both?

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