uninstall W8 and install W7. that will fix all your problems.
you can still buy XP. just because MS came up with a new version doesn't mean they took the old versions off the shelves.
I'm sure if you looked hard enough, you could probably find 3.1 somewhere, though I don't know why you'd want to go that far. well, at least no one is probably writing viruses for 3.1 anymore.
Go get Win7 and be done with it. Windows 8 is garbage software to compete with Google's Android.
...I have heard from others that 8 is wretched-I know my friend's desktop hasn't worked right since he installed it.
...I like Linux myself.
get a Mac and stop being annoyed and just start doing what you set out to do.