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dolly99 dolly99 41-45, F 6 Answers Nov 25, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...<br />
How to live in a world that's politically correct?<br />
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",<br />
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.<br />
<br />
And labor conditions at the north pole<br />
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.<br />
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,<br />
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.<br />
<br />
And equal employment had made it quite clear<br />
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.<br />
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,<br />
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!<br />
<br />
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;<br />
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.<br />
And people had started to call for the cops<br />
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.<br />
<br />
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.<br />
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."<br />
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,<br />
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose<br />
<br />
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,<br />
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.<br />
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,<br />
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,<br />
<br />
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,<br />
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.<br />
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion<br />
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.<br />
<br />
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,<br />
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.<br />
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.<br />
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.<br />
<br />
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.<br />
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.<br />
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.<br />
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.<br />
<br />
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.<br />
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.<br />
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,<br />
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.<br />
<br />
For they raised the hackles of those psychological<br />
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.<br />
No ba<x>seball, no football...someone could get hurt;<br />
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.<br />
<br />
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;<br />
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.<br />
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;<br />
He just could not figure out what to do next.<br />
<br />
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,<br />
But you've got to be careful with that word today.<br />
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;<br />
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.<br />
<br />
Something special was needed, a gift that he might<br />
Give to all without angering the left or the right.<br />
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,<br />
Each group of people, every religion;<br />
<br />
Every ethnicity, every hue,<br />
Everyone, everywhere...even you.<br />
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...<br />
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

Best Answer

is resay a word?

Best Answer

*Hangs head in shame*

Best Answer

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