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Who can tell me what to do if you have fallen in love with someone........?

who shows outward signs of feeling the same, but doesn't express it verbally because the individual maybe is shy or guarded? What has or hasn't worked for you and why?

Ok, I am going to clarify a bit more. It hasn’t been long since we’ve been friends, yet it feels like I’ve known him longer than this. We are alike in a lot of ways (scary) and we each have been able to help the other one out in areas in which the other one is a little weaker in. We have friends in common. As of right now, the level has been just the friendship thing, although, as you know, women seem to develop feelings a little faster for the guy, sometimes. To him, we are not dating. We have gone out a couple times for meals, and we have many common interests in which we share and go out and do.

I guess it’s just the semantics, or formality of it all.

@ pamster369: Outward signs are those of body language, such as ‘mirroring’ (copying) my posture or if I change my sitting position, so does he, EXACTLY. There has also been the ‘grooming’ thing, ie, smoothing of hair, running his fingers through his hair, plus all those little signs of interest which happen in the early stages of ‘getting to know you’ period. He’s also called me a cute nickname. Other little things have occurred too, but this is enough to suffice what I’ve termed “Outward signs.” Since I took a couple day hiatus from seeing him, things have steadily, albeit slowly, been progressing.  I know he had been hurt deeply by a woman, recent enough to hold him back.

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    Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):

    donguitar - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by donguitar Apr 30th, 2010 at 11:17AM

    Communication is vital to a relationship. Every successful couple develops some means of communicating their feelings. Sometimes one of them has trouble communicating his or her feelings and the significant other has to ask point blank and then sit quietly waiting for the answer to work its way out. Sometimes All that's required is to express your own feelings. Sometimes when you hesitate to express your feelings and your significant other can tell you're holding back, he or she will fill in the words you aren't saying with their imagination. An insecure person is likely to imagine negative things. There's an old saying that goes "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem". Stop holding back. Express yourself frankly and honestly. Then ask how he/she feels. If you're met with silence, say "If you can't tell me, I can't stay". If you're still answered with silence, leave. Do it. Walk away. If your significant other really cares for you, he/she will call you back sooner or later. There's another old saying which goes "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't it will never be yours." [of course if you're both living in YOUR place you'll have to adjust the wording on that accordingly.]

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14 Answers to "Who can tell me what to do if you have fallen in love with someone........?"

  1. ChihiroChan - 26-30 years old

    Posted by ChihiroChan Apr 26th, 2010 at 2:59PM

    Be brave and talk with them.That's what I did,well...after I inched in little by little,he didn't move so I kissed him.Made my heart go 100 mi a minute! I was so nervous!I said,"About time!" and he laughed his *** off before he kissed me back.We've been dating for 3 years and are planning on getting married halloween of next year if we can't afford this year.We already see ourselves as married,in our hearts,but we still want to be married in the eyes of the law.I still don't know whether to call him my ,"boyfriend","fiance" or "husband".He feels more like a "husband" since we take care of each other best we can.

    Like (3)

  2. FromChaos2Tao - 26-30 years old

    Posted by FromChaos2Tao Apr 23rd, 2010 at 3:19AM

    I am willing to bet you two have asked for and attracted one another to each other. I TOTALLY agree on the 'mirroring' thing. There are all those subtleties there. I'm sure you read people's body language well and can read the signs he shows by not reading into anything. I for one, will ask someone questions that I know they will answer truthfully. I see how their facial expression and hands react. Then I ask questions in which I know I will get a half-truth, omission, or lie from.

    If you know how to do this, ask away!

    Ask him how he feels, (possibly after a bottle of wine, since it CAN be a TRUTH serum.) Then watch, wait and be patient. It's okay to tell him that you care about him more than just a friend.

    For myself, I have done this. I also say things that will plant the see, something he can think about. I have seen first hand that maybe he admits some things and denies other area(s). This doesn't mean that he isn't 'into' me totally. It just means that it is not time yet for the next part to happen or to be revealed yet.... which allows us to get to know one another better and then KAPOW! All elements will fall into place with one big, wonderfully awesome surprise one day in the future!! Meanwhile.... it's building and building and building.... whew! what a ride!

    Enjoy each moment.

    Like (2)

  3. MousePajamas - 26-30 years old

    Posted by MousePajamas Apr 20th, 2010 at 1:10AM

    DON'T run! Ask them how they feel :) ( I have been this way before)

    Like (2)

  4. EuropeanBob - 41-45 years old

    Posted by EuropeanBob Apr 26th, 2010 at 3:02PM

    Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?

    Like (1)

  5. LilAnnie - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by LilAnnie Apr 22nd, 2010 at 2:51AM

    Honey, if you want him, go get him!

    Like (1)

  6. love2cut - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by love2cut Apr 21st, 2010 at 7:16PM

    I think you both are on the right path if he has said you are not dating I would wait before telling him I m in love but I would continue to flirt and show interest. One thing I would do is not become so anxious and probably spend time with friends to level out my wants for his time. If he is mirroring you that is a big sign he is interested. I hope the best.

    Like (1)

  7. bme91one2call - 18-21 years old

    Posted by bme91one2call Apr 20th, 2010 at 10:50AM

    well I know of a person who Im attracted too. But I wont pursue it because I am a social retard. But if they pursue me I will straight up tell them. I want to be with You ooo yeah. I agree with donguitar also.

    Like (1)

  8. Hollywoodrags - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by Hollywoodrags Apr 20th, 2010 at 8:11AM

    I seem to have the same problem as you she tells me she loves me but doesn't show it and this has been going on for 2 years. I would tell her your thoughts and see where this takes you.

    Like (1)

  9. CaliGurl2007 - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by CaliGurl2007 Apr 20th, 2010 at 4:14AM

    idk...im that type of girl who doesnt like to get emotionally attached bcuz ive been hurt before..so im struggling now to tell my boyfriend that i really do love him...i just needed to tell someone that lol..sorry i couldnt help you

    Like (1)

  10. Lucinnda - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by Lucinnda Apr 20th, 2010 at 1:13AM

    if a guy likes you, you know it. it's hard to tell from your question what stage the relationship is in ?

    Like (1)

  11. usmanfarooq28 - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by usmanfarooq28 Apr 20th, 2010 at 1:13AM

    bang on the face and toss the coin by asking the question......... now i don't think i need to tell you what would be the question be.......okie wait for the coin to his the surface .......... if it give ya heads, you're all in mate.

    if you've got a tail.........forget about it man

    don't even think about it

    all the best

    Like (1)

  12. Abbeyrhode - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by Abbeyrhode Apr 20th, 2010 at 1:04AM

    Seriously, run

    Like (1)

  13. everton13 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by everton13 Apr 20th, 2010 at 1:01AM

    Start running.

    Like (1)

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