If you accept that everything is changed and are open to establishing a new relationship with the new person who your spouse is, then it is possible to heal. If you two care about one another and have enough common ground and are both committed, then you will be able to start over from scratch as two new, different people to become a new and different couple. My wife betrayed me and it devastated me, but I've improved upon who I was during that first part of our relationship and I believe she has. Sure, I'm sad that the illusions of innocence are gone and some of the romance, but such is life and change is the only concept. Try to enjoy each other and enjoy life and forgive mistakes, and you'll grow together. Best luck.

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Thank you. Your reply has made me think I think cos you understand about the loss of innocence in a relationship something I haven't really been able to pin down and express. Don't honestly know yet whether i can accept this guy i dont know as my husband I think I am still grieving for what I've lost.

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Be real. Trust is gone, marriage over.

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Check out the website "Surviving Infidelity.com. There are many postings on people who are dealing with what you are dealing with. People do survive this, but it hurts like nothing else. But time does heal and people have made really good and strong marriages after an affair, if you both have the courage to face the path of healing together.

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