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There are more than a couple of things I wish to change with my connection with this person.However,I am realistic that people do NOT change. Trust is key and it comes with time & sincere desire to be vulnerable with each other. If I can learn to trust and accept him,time will only tell. It's just the start of a start if it's even that. He claims he is crazy about me wants to be with me and only me. We have just had 1 date! Sounds like the typical male *smitten for you*ploy. I am not attracted to desperation & I am also not used to wearing pants in a realationship. He hasn't had the life experience I have and that is very understandable. What bothers me is that I feel like he NEEDS me for his joy or just to fill some void, this is just too intense & a bit creepy. I am not a therapist & I don't respond to false declarations of affections: *i want only you* *love* etc, and I've told him so. Time will tell,but I am trying to tread with caution.
lunadelobos lunadelobos 41-45 4 Answers Nov 27, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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I feel you. Ii had a partner who was very needy, couldn't make his own decisions etc. On our second date he said we could get married that very day. Needless to say I fled and never looked back.



At that time I was emotionally supporting a male friend of mine who had a bad break-up and a rough childhood. His Mum passed away when he was 4 and his Dad has a major cigarette addiction. Frustrating though it was, I paid for my friend to eat, comforted him with all his pains and did everything I could to boost his confidence. Eventually that led to love and we dated for a year. After that, his Dad got into some legal trouble and I went to court with them, I wrote countless letters an got hundreds of appointments for his Da and it drove a HUGE wedge between me and my family. They wanted me to dump my boyfriend because he was "dragging me down". But I persevered, I fought on and hell I was really cranky under all the stress. But you know what? We made the biggest move of all, his Dad wouldn't help himself so we walked away. That was 2009, 2010 he asked me to marry him. After a 2-year job he has so much more confidence, my family love him, he's said no to his Dad several times and won't leet his Dad inflict such a level of stress on me again. Last year we got our own home and a dog, who is like the third part of our little family unit. Next year, I'm marrying the very broken guy I started off with. Good things do happen if you work at them!

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:D Amazing story of YOUR perserverance and resilience. I hope he knows how blessed he is! Thank you so much for your very poignant story, it just swept me into it with my heart. *hugs* and a big Congratulations to you all :)

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Thank you for this story. It inspires me to keep working hard at my own relationship!

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All relationships take work, and yes, just because he needed a lot of support doesn't mean he doesn't make me angry at times- relationships are no walk in the park. You need to weigh up the pros and cons whenever you have an arguement, normally the pros make it far worth resolving the problem :-)

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YES! If you are committed to each other. I am so far from that juncture yet.Again I applaud you. I was married for 10 years so I've walked the path and done the crazy dance,alas,HE was not commited but a tyrant. I am grateful that is over now. I Just need the GOOD in my life to be fed positive vibes not crazy needy ones, I can't deal with an infant man...

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Again I feel you. I was engaged 2.5 years to a man who wasn't prepared to make the leap. I did everything I could to make sure we could have our future but he wasn't prepared to make that step. His loss, just like your ex-husband. You will find a man who can be your everything and you will be his world in return. Have faith.

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What a lovely and kind thing to say "You will find a man who can be your everything and you will be his world in return. Have faith". God/dess belss you for saying that! Thank you.

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This happened to me. I had a man tell me that he wanted me to bear his children. That if we pursued a relationship, it would be the last one he would enter in his life. Said a lot of stuff.



He was drunk on valium.. he just sort of blurted all this stuff out despite his hesitance and despite knowing better. Blurted out lots about his past/history, explained a lot of things as justifications for me to walk out the door and never see him again if I chose to. It freaked the both of us out, and we didn't really address it right away. We just sort of ... ignored the outburst and kept seeing each other.



We have since addressed that moment, and many since. Our romance has grown into a wonderful relationship - orders of magnitude better than any other that I have experienced. He has since stopped drinking to self-medicate, and can stop himself when drinking socially. He no longer feels the need to take valium for anxiety, and is better able to mentally & emotionally stabilize. We've been together nearly two years. If things continue as they are for another two, or even strengthen a bit, I think I could see myself with him for quite a long time.



I have never felt that he stayed with me because of his initial assertions, and he has in fact remained true to them thus far.

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Wow. I am amazed and grateful to have read your story.Your man was sincere if a bit lost. Kudos to you both for sticking it out. :D! Thank you.

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Sounds like these two fellas are a lot different though!! Just trust your gut. If the sincerity really isn't there and he seems too immature for you, you know what to do. Thanks for the kind message.

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