Who is more at fault when it comes to cheating?

When your spouse doesn't want to touch you, doesn't share any deep conversations with you, isn't intimate at all with you, they start to push you away. So far away that you will look any where for what they can't and won't give you. All relationships are 50/50.

The person who cheats makes that choice and there can be a variety of reasons that have led them to that decision.

Without a doubt, it is morally wrong if the homelife isn't all that bad. What if the non cheating spouse denies the other of a sex life? What if the non cheating spouse is physically or mentally abusive?

There are many scenarios and to lump all cheaters into the same catergory is not appropriate. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you get too judgemental.

Above all, be mature and compassionate before hastily judging others. Maturity and respect is not blocking someone because you disagree with them.

Sometimes its both of their faults but sometimes its just the cheater. I know a guy who cannot seem to be faithful no matter what. He has been married twice, cheated both times. And I knew he loved this women deeply, but when its thrown in his lap, he can't seem to say no. I would say its his fault, bc I also knew the women and its not like they didn't give him any, he just cheated bc a girl offered herself to him. In other situations, I would blame both. Its about like everything else, it just depends on the situation.

bblibby...geez...if you were cheated on, you know how that hurt....so, for you to want to inflict that same pain on your husband, to get even, is not a description of love, like you say you love him....it describes revenge....and you don't hurt someone you truly love....

THE BLAME LIES SOLELY ON THE CHEATER...YES, THERE MAY BE PROBLEMS IN THE RELATIONSHIP....BUT, WHEN YOU ARE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, CHEATING IS NOT AN OPTION....IT'S A DEAL-BREAKER...AND THE CHEATER IS MAKING THE DECISION TO WALK AWAY FROM THE RELATIONSHIP, INSTEAD OF MORE PRODUCTIVE METHODS OF DEALING WITH WHATEVER ISSUES THE COUPLE MAY BE HAVING.

I'd say it's a 51-49 split, with the cheater coming out with 51%. The reason for this is, the cheater has to move on the option (which is offered by the "other person). There will always be options to cheat, but taking them up on the offer is what gives them the blame.

However, the "Other" person should respect boundaries. I was dating this guy once that was ENGAGED, and when I found out, I could have strangled him. He tried to explain to me that he wasn't sure anymore, but the fact of the matter is he had given his word to someone else who wasn't me. It was over that day.

My personal sense of honor says that there are sacred things in life and you don't tread on them. In short, if you know someone's married/seriously committed, you respect it. If they truly want you, they will sever their ties properly (divorce or breakup) and give you their word. If you get them any other way, you can be sure you'll be left the same way in which you got them.

Too many fish in the pond for you to go for the one you can't have, I say.

Nobody is more responsible. A relationship is two-way. Both are equally responsible.

Ultimately it is "the cheater" that is responsible for the actions that they take. They must own their own decision and how the "crossed over the line". However, there are two sides to every story...we do not create these relational experiences in a vacuum...there was a cause and effect that created the need to cheat in the first place....that is where the other party comes into their own sense of responsibility and what they should own.

There doesn't have to be any problems! Sometimes people are just morally bankrupt. Seriously, putting the blame on the person who didn't cheat is like saying that it's an animal's fault that the owner beat it, after all, the animal kept making noise. People need to learn to take responsability for themselves! If the relationship is that bad, LEAVE!

It Depends on the Facts and Circumstances. NY divorce law and the divorce laws of some other states state that refusing your spouse sex for a year, sometimes less and sometimes more, is grounds for divorce on the basis of abandonment. However, if the person refusing sex is being abused then the abuser is at fault. It really depends on facts, but if a spouse is denying sex to other spouse and denyed spouse has not abused the other I would say DENYING spouse is at fault.

I beleave that the instigator of the cheating is the person who is been cheated on , they may not realise that by there actions they have set in motion , feelings in their partner which lead them to seek solace elsewhere .....

Well, it's damn sure not me. It must be someone else.

I am stalking Overman. He steals my answers with frequency.

I don't think you can assign points. The cheater or the person with whom they cheat? Both are scum. I've seen marriages fall apart and someone is stupid enough to marry the person they cheated with and then find themselves being cheated on. Hullo? What surprised them?

The cheater is the most at fault. No matter how bad the relationship, we owe it to the other person to tell them we are leaving and do so before we go to someone else. We owe our partner honesty if nothing else.

the cheater .... because if they dont state that their needs are being met and at least give a chance for the person about to get cheated on to fix it then thats wrong... also if someone if going to cheat then just leave the relationship in the first place... if your willing to cheat then the relationship didnt mean much in the first place

In a relationship? Deal with the ups and downs.

Done and want out? Then have a mature conversation, say so and leave the other person to get on with their life.

No excuses, no delays, and no 'trying on' someone new before breaking up. The cheater and cheating sucks. The cheated-upon is not to blame, regardless of relationship issues. Akin to blaming a woman wearing a miniskirt for being raped, like she's asking for it.

You can't generalise. You need to know the circumstances.

The cheater is always at fault. That's why it's called cheating.