Because you are self destructive and have very low self esteem. <br />
You deserve better, but you won't tell that to yourself.
um..because youre a woman, and like many women, you tried to use sex on a man, in order to get a relationship with him.. and he wasnt interested in a relationship and told you that from the beginning but you thought you would change that, as most women do. That worked when you were 25, but at 50 if you cant seperate sex from love, you just need to get married.