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I am 22 yrs old. I have never had a bf. I am also still a virgin.. Everytime I like a guy I become infatuated. But the last guy had a gf so there was no hope. As a kid I remember being very afraid of thr men in my life..they would grab and hold me tightly and I would be very uncomfortable. Also, I was made fun of a lot by boys in grade school. Anytime a guy shows interest in me now, I get creeped out. I've been disrespected a lot by guys in my past and know that a lot of guys just want to hook up with me. This makes me feel vulnerable. It seems as if the only guys I can like are the ones who don't show any romantic interest or aggression. I have to be the one to like them first. But even then, if I realize they like me back I freak out and push away. I don't know what is wrong with me.Right now I am also suffering from binge eating disorder and exercise addiction..I am very insecure and self conscious about my body even though I am attractiv. Can anyone relate?
Gymgirl89 Gymgirl89 22-25 8 Answers Dec 2, 2011

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I suffer(ed) from something similar. In my case sexual relations are fine, but as soon as someone starts showing any kind of emotional connection I find it really difficult to have any further sexual contact with them. Needless to say this made/makes meaningful relationships very difficult. I had a great sexual therapist that helped me with this. I can't say I am over it, but figuring out the cause helped. Otherwise it was simply realizing that the feelings I was having although weird are just part of who I am, and being honest with my partner about them. As I said it still occurs but I'm getting better.

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It will take time and you will need patience. Do not rush into anything. In time, things will get better. You may message me if you need to talk.

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Are you maybe just not meeting the right guys? Maybe it takes them getting physically and emotionally closer to really know they're not your type.

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this has been said a million times over on this site - "You have to learn to love yourself before you can expect it from others."

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nerves and a confidence issue is the reason why. Unfortunately there is no easy fix. But confidence building in principle is just doing things you are good at. You might try two things there is some evidence that says mixed sports can be good for difficulty's with the opposite sex. And the other is the crash and Burn method which is go to a bar and pull out you worse line ever and use it on some one you feel is way out of your league and repeat an repeat. This works great for guys and it can work for women with the same problem but it does not work for all. Women tend to be more complicated On the topic of the eating disorder what makes you think its a disorder if you are doing serious exercise you're eating habits will change and seem quit voracious. As long as you stay with in a healthy BMI you are good. Body image issues are difficult as we come to see oneself in a certain fixed way. And the only real way for that one is to work through it for women this usually entails finding the right look of dress. If you get TLC watch what not to wear and find some one who looks like you do and see what Clinton and Stacy have to say heck listen to what they say regardless you will find most women have body issues. Part of the problem is the supermodel mentality caused by advertisers. Hope my meager advice helps

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Youve had bad experiences with male individuals in your past and that is influencing you unconciously now. But if you'd really like someone, you should take a risk and if someone likes you, even though you've got shivers and are afraid, don't listen to that side of your mind, but just go ahead and say yes to a date...it may be uncomfortable, and i know exactly how you feel because i've had the same, but you know, after a while, you'll probably be making fun and not even thinking about your insecurity...<br />
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You just have to get over your fears, show them who's the one controling you.<br />
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but if you keep letting those thoughts conquering, you'll never be able to get someone by your side.<br />
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and also, you're probably a very handsome person so no need to be insecure, you said that there are guys that like you, be happy...and go for it, don't think, just do it.

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