When I'm mean towards the ones I love it's usually because I'm disappointed in them.
Well I have the same problem...I am a B'''', yes I know I am.. I have terrible mood swings..geez probably bipolar I dunno! My husband irritates me...He does things that just get on my last nerve sometimes..Hope this answer helps lol
There is something about him in common with you that you can't get over and that you dislike. Something about yourself that is also similar with him. That causes conflict between the two of you. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. This I know. That's why I'm by myself!!!
Because you fear intimacy and if you let your wall down, that person may hurt you. You are not willing to risk it. Also, You are trying to see how far you can go before that person will leave you.
Perhaps you simply have not learned how to communicate so it puts you into stress overload trying figure out how to share your thoughts.
First, let go of any stereotype you think you belong in, including the ones the involve your personallity. It is you talking to him, there is no other person you have to be at that point except for your self.
Also, perhaps you have a nervous issue, it's just that your nervousness comes out in the form of anger. Acting is the same as lieing, if you act like nothing is wrong you will spend a lifetime missinterpreting eachother (false signals).
Remember, this is not a power struggle, it is a partnership with equal resposibillity.
i appreciate that - I act the same. not in a relationship, completely reasonable person; in a relationship, stark raving mad lunatic. i got here by googling "why am i so hateful when i don't want to be" and i can say i feel overstimulated around people - i feel their feelings and I get overloaded and can't act right, can't talk nice because I am overstimulated.
Sounds like me when I was your age. He was my first live in boyfriend and I think I treated him how I grew up seeing my Mum treat my Dad, bloody awful. I never knew why but I'd want an arguement and somehow made it happen. The next boyfriend was like me but full of accusations about me cheating on him. Soon snapped me out of it. I think its about finding the persn you are. You want a long, healthy marraige so calm down, pick the fights that matter and don't touch the rest. Nothing wrong with being wrong and apologising, it earns more respect.
yeah it does. my husband's not a cheat, but I have carried around a lot of anger about how would bend over backwards to please him and he would still be unsatisfied - he's grown a lot, he's not like that anymore, but I suffered a lot catering to his every whim, especially when it would change 50 million times and I have a lot of time to process how hard that was. I love him more than anything, would go through it again, but I'm angry.
I am the same way and I went to a doctor and discovered that I have Borderline personality disorder
Oh wow, do you happen do have anxiety alot because I'm scared I may have a slight personality disorder too, but I'm scared to say something incase I'm completely wrong.
omg we are sharing the same life.Lol I'm getting married in July.We've been together for 2 years I screamed at him tonight for cutting me off in mid sentence he was only kidding and normally I laugh but tonight I do maybe I was freaking out because I thought there was cop falling me while I was driving
Japanese-Anime has a term similar to this, called a Tsundere.
Tsun-irritable, dere-lovey dovey.
Usually compared with the girl in elementary who's mean to the boy she has a crush on.
I can feel for your situation but would highly suggest counseling BEFORE you got married. It would be much cheaper than having to pay for divorce lawyers AFTER marriage...lol This isn't a knock on you at all but you could have HCP (High Conflict Personality) It is treatable. A good counseler would give you ways to help you deal with this before you explode.
I am sure you love your fiance dearly. I am sure you wouldn't want him to be miserable. When we commit to marriage it is no longer about what we want and need. It becomes about the needs of two people. Living with somebody who explodes for no apparent reason is a VERY difficult experience. Most will eventually just get out. Early on in a relationship we tend to overlook our other half's worst qualities. It is easy to do when you are going through that whole newness, love/lust phase. Over a few years though a person will just give up & with good reason.
I dated a girl for a while who had this exact problem. The more I tried to "understand" or defuse the situation the worse it got. When she refused counseling I broke up. Yea I was in love but know that my love alone would never change this. Of course that caused this whole stalking harrassing behavior from her but that's another story in itself...lol I would just encourage getting help. If not not only will this relationship fail but so will any future one.
Best of Luck
cos your a *****,,, simple
coz,you care.........yep,you care....
Grow up. Get some therapy. Else you may lose him. Why should he have to put up with yr childish tantrums? Sort yr head out.
I may be young, but I completely understand what you mean. Every time I care for a guy I act mean to him. I don't know why I do it, but I just do. Sometimes I think I'm being funny, but I too am scared he'll get sick of it one day. I really care for this person, and don't want him to think I'm trying to be intentionally mean and negative it's just some strange problem I have.