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I always feel that he's lying to me and never telling me the full truth about where he is or what he's doing. I feel he tells me these small white lies so I don't freak out if I really knew where he was. Two more of his friends just became recently single (both cheated) and I'm worried he's going to follow suit. I hate feeling so insecure about everything and always wondering what it is that he's doing or if hes even still attracted to me. He rarely ever wants to be intimate with me anymore and I just don't know what to do. He says everything's fine when I ask him but I'm just always stressing thinking about it more so than I am enjoying the relationship. & I don't want to leave him. The thought of him being with other girls and me being alone angers/scares me. Are there any signs that I can know that he's cheating? If he isnt satisfied then when is he still with me? I think he's only with me because he knows hes been the only guy with me & that im a predictable and a good girl.
missmonroe missmonroe 22-25 23 Answers Jan 8, 2012

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You're insecure about yourself.

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I believe you should follow your instincts. If you feel the way you do there is a reason behind it. You should talk to him and be upfront. ASK HIM. if you are not satisfied with the answer Then maybe its your time to move on. I know its hard to think about breaking up with someone but you shouldnt feel like this in a relationship. Maybe he is have personal problems you dont know about. Who knows but always wondering and feeling like this is not healthy for you and the relationship.

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It seems your needs aren't being met and that may be part of your insecurity which I find quite understandable. I guess you have to decide whether its due to his treatment or whats inside you. You are the one best qualified to figure that out. If its him you'll have to express your feelings to him and if he doesnt want to help then he probably doesnt care much and it may be time to move on. If its in you then you have to look at how you can help yourself. He can help too but its mainly you as change is something we have to decide for ourselves.<br />
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On the other hand it can be extremely frustrating being punished for an affair you've never ever had. I've been there too....

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I have kinda felt that way before. Just keep your eyes and heart open. Try to get your information secretly so you don't push him into doing something. If he does end up cheating or did cheat it may not seem like it at the time but it is best to find out as soon as possible so you don't have to waste anymore time on him. You deserve someone who will respect you and not cheat on you. Relationships without trust don't last long. Your suspicions may be an instinct telling you something isn't right. If you get definitive proof don't take his BS and don't believe he will change cause he won't. If you need to talk to someone let me know but I hope it all works out happily for you.

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You need to get out of that relationship. You'll thank me later.<br />
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Trust yourself well!

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ffs. woman: definition of insanity.

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lol. no offence but she'd drive me nuts and away from her too with accusations and insecurity ... *goes to the pub* :)

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I am going through the exact same thing. I am a chubby girl and I feel that my boyfriend would rather be with a thin girl. I was reading your responses hoping they would help but they didn't. :(

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I can understand how you feel... me too ... I also feel insecure with my previous relationship but get to know that he has an affairs with someone else. I was very very very ANGRY...and end up breaking up with him.... it is very difficult for me as a woman as he took my virginity and he has been my only man I love...Really sad!! and I begging not to trust man easily!!

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He's with you because it's easier than dealing with the Drama from breaking up with you

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i can relate to this im going through this myself with my first husband , im 50 hes 26 ,, so i know why im insecure , im always thinking he will leave me for a younger girl even he says its not like him to do that but my thinking is messed up, i want to just relax and be happy in my first marriage but wow i didnt know i was gonna have to raise him myself he knows very little about life and love , his parents should have taught him better than this , so i think,, hes still in algeria im in canada , his culture is way different than mine , im feeling silly for even talking about this , cause as i type i am seeing this is probably more my fault than his , buyt every time i want the day to go by without getting angry he kills it and i get viciously angry with him , the things i say amazes me , i ask myself where did i get this from , im not real sure if its cause he pressures me so much about immigration or im real mad at myself for getting involved with a child like minded man ,, and when i say something he comes out and says you mean this and omg it frustras me to the boiling point and it takes me forever to calm down in the mean time my mouth just doesnt stop , oh how i hate myself sometimes ,,, and i do love him so much so i dont know what to do , i dont want to hurt any more i think of suicide to much cuz i rather die than live without him ,

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Speaking from my experience, trust your instincts and have a talk with him, you can't go on like this, if you do you'll only hurt yourself. Don't you think you deserve better than that, even if I don't know you, I know you do . Stay strong & take care

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Sounds like you don't trust him. It also sounds like you're insecure about yourself, that's why you don't want to be single. Maybe you're just possesive. If you're in a relationship where you don't trust your partner and you're always wondering where he is, what he's doing etc sometimes it's better to be single than to be in a relaitonship, but not a good one where you can trust your bf. He sounds a little disinterested... some signs are if he changes his story, won't hangout in certain groups with you, looks uncomfortable around certain other girls, other girls are super friendly with him, more than ordinary. Can he look you in the eye when he says he's not cheating? Good luck.

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Either you are insecure within yourself and your imagination is causing you to drive yourself crazy OR he IS behaving in a way that causes you to feel insecure. It really doesn't matter which, the fact is that YOU ARE NOT HAPPY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, and it is not healthy. You can't MAKE anyone act or feel how you want them to act and feel. Wait for the real thing, don't try to force it.

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well first of all you should understand that if he ends up doing something to hurt you. at all. then you guys split up... its a good thing. and it opensthe door for someone better. secondly, calm down. relax for a minute. think about things. don't let your emotions fog your better judgement.

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Your insecurity stems from low self-esteem. Get some therapy, read "The Road Less Travelled" and be single for a couple of years. That'll work :o)

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There is an old saying "If you're going to wear the name, you're going to play the game".<br /><br /><br />
Either be in 100% in the relationship, and trust him, or get out. I would ask him WHY he thinks it's okay to hang out with cheaters, as birds of a feather flock together.<br /><br />You seem to be one foot in, and one foot out in this relationship. Decide, then proceed.

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Go about your own life as if he doesn't exist. It may seem difficult to you, but it's really the only and best way to move forward. Find a career. Have a life that has nothing to do with him. If he's an a-shole, then it is no big deal because you will already have a life outside of him. Trust me, I've been down this road.

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your insecurity is caused by your boyfriend. hes making you insecure emotionally by not fulfilling your needs, hes making you insecure physically by ignoring you and you said in your last line you think hes just with you for his own benefit. do you need to ask the question?

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I would advise against it because this witch hunt for the cheating bf usually ends in disaster...either he's not cheating and you're going to make a fool of yourself or he is and you'll be pissed/heart broken. Just be honest with him and try to level with him...men are usually more straightforward then women but we can lie so I really don't know...just look for behavior that's odd but don't jump to any conclusions too fast.

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