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cloversgrandma cloversgrandma 61-65, F 13 Answers Jan 8, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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Probably because he lets you get away with it. Maybe it's time to take a long look at your hubby and learn to appreciate how luck you are :)

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Yes, he never stands up for his rights so I just push the limits further. And I think part of the problem is I should never have gotten married because I need my "own space" and don't like people around 24/7. Dating is great because you can send them home...

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Fear and expectations. You can work to understand the root of your behavior if you just stop and think about it. You're mean to him? Think about why - try to come up with the feeling or emotion you're feeling. Then dig deeper and think about why you're feeling that emotion. <br />
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MOST unaddressed feelings surface as anger. You don't need to think about why you're mean to your husband; you need to think about why you're angry which will be ba<x>sed on some fear or expectation. Then honestly address that fear. For example, many people are angry with and mean to their spouses because at the root they have the fear of being abandoned. They resent that fear and focus it on their spouse. <br />
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This may sound ... well... my recommendation.. sit down with your husband and tell him exactly what you've said here... you feel like a princess from the way he treats you, but you consistently feel anger towards him and are mean. Starting that conversation and bringing your husband into it is probably the best first step. It's rough - risky - scary. But try it.

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Thanks really appreciate your taking the time to help. I don't "want to be this way" I just seem to be compelled. In the past I had other men do horrible things to me (father molested me and ex-husband physically abused me). I have been trying to figure out what drives this for years.

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I'm very sorry you endured those experiences. Abuse like that GREATLY affects you in adulthood. I know - my wife suffered the same treatment in her childhood, from her father. We have been dealing with and working through this for YEARS. If you want to talk about this more, send me a message. I can tell you what I know, what my wife, and we, have done.

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I'm guessing you're not getting enough chocolate. :-)

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Maybe it's not so much your husband as yourself. Are you just not happy or satisfied with life in general? I think most of us don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. Not really. You have no way to gauge it when it's happening. So try to consider how you'd feel if you lost him. Use your imagination.

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there could be a lot of reasons for that, without any details.

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Princesses are spoiled i guess.

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