First off, its ok to be upset. Change is super scary! Just take it one day at a time. just like the famous pot shots creator Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant says:<br />
Change enough of the little pictures, and eventually you change the big picture.
Sounds to me like you might be suffering with a little deep impacted depression. What's in the way of perfection other than you, so if you disallow yourself to have this experience why do you dislike yourself so?
I can actually say that I understand what you're feeling now. It seems as if sometimes it's me that is stopping myself from happiness.