Ignore every excuse all themen have made here. Men ARE raised by their mothers to be be selfish...and it is for this reason I never want chidren...because I dont want to be some poor, well-meaning girl's ape-like-mother-in-law. No matter how sensitive or "different" men declare themselves to be they always end up being more interested in making themseves happy than making you happy...all the while expecting you to take care of them when they are sick, cook for them when they are hungry, sleep with them when they want sex. In my experience the only time a man is ever warm or understanding is when he wants pleasing of some kind. No matter how evolved they think they are, that is ultimately what they think your purpose is. To make them feel good. To serve them...but ony when it suits them...for if you CROWD him with love (how dare we...what a horrible thing to do) wel THAT girls is the worst offence of all. I am currently in the process of making up my mind whether to stay in a relationship or not. As I said I have been out with all types of men...each one as selfish and hard-hearted as the last...and my dilemma is do I break up with a guy when I know he's just the same as all the others?
You said that so well! Totally agree. Men expect the world from women, yet give little in return! And God forbid we become too needy!
well i would rather be more selfish if they are they should realize and regret for their own acts ...we women should adapt their selfishness in our traits that how we can find peace ,you gotto love yourself and no1 that's the rule of happiness
preach it girl!mmmmmhhhhmmmmm:-) thats right!
wat????????????? i dnt it not one bit
Lilacwine is not a man and she defended he farther and aquantainces, if women are so superiour then she must have a valid point.
That truly is an ignorant and unfair generalization.
When my father died when I was 14 I had to take care of my mother in her time of need. If anything, I felt obliged to help her cope in anyway I could. I had to replace the male model in her and my sister's life and I believe that isn't very selfish.
I could have let my mother and sister wither away into sadness but I picked up where my father left off and put myself aside for the good of my family.
I can't even comprehend how unjust your view on men is. You truly are a real gem who claims superiority to men when you choose only to see one side of the gender. Of course men aren't perfect but neither are women, but I don't put down the whole gender based on a few bad experiences in something as petty as puppy love.
You obviously need to look past the people you are starting relationships with to find the good men in an ocean of betrayal.
Amidy, Grow up.
You are talking about men you have CHOSEN to spend your time with. Take responsibility. This is the typical bullshit i always hear from girls who only go out with bad guys then blame all of us for their bad taste.
You feel this way and you still have to "make up your mind" about whether or not stay in the relationship?!?
You are clearly going out with an idiot, but you sound like one yourself, so either make some changes about HOW and WHERE you meet guys or you could just give up and stay with him
and you say men are raised by their mothers to act this way? So its ultimately women's fault? You are a penis.
Having said that, sorry if i have offended you, but you sound like the bitter person I'm trying hard not to become. This kind of generalisation annoys me because i have been treated like **** by pretty girls so used to getting their own way they don't know how to treat people.
don't pretend like you can live without men. eventually you will come crawling back. my advice, if you weren't such a cynic, maybe you would attract men who were good to you. you say you're not going to have children because you're afraid you will have to serve and pamper them... how insecure are you?
based on what you have written here, you will never find a decent man. You have virtually everything exactly backwards. You won't have children because you are afraid you will have to serve and pamper them? how insecure are you?
amen to all of that! Men think with their dicks instead of their brains and hearts! And, God forbid, if we say NO to sex! Men, and I use that term loosely, we women DO NOT have to give you an explanation if we want to screw you or not! It is OUR body!
Nope, The only thing I ever want from a woman is the for them to let me help them if they needed it with nothing in return. And I don't mean sexually either as I am asexual and have no interest in sex.
Nope the only thing I ever expect from anyone especially women is their willingness to let me help them when they need help. And i don't mean sexually as I am asexual and have no interest in sex.
You're entitled to your opinion. But You obviously have never met me. Because I am permenantly injured for helping people both men and women in any way I can. Without anything In return. I do this every day and will until the day I die.
You ladies order a hot-dog and complain it's not filet mignon? It amuses me to read about men being so selfish and 98% revolves around what the woman isn't getting....<br />
My mom wasn't doting lol (to say the least), but since no one really has admitted it (and this admittance of guilt seems to be ever important to women) I have made a list of things I am selfish about.<br />
I am selfish because I have had the same work boots for 10 years while my wife is walking around with a $7,000 wedding ring, When I talk about spending a couple hundred bucks for another quality pair- we just don't have the money<br />
Im selfish and self centered because I can't be who/what my wife wants either. She married me Im fairly certain, but I don't love her enough to be someone else.<br />
Im selfish because my wife is a stay at home mom and I work 55+ hours a week and I don't do enough around the house. I am even more selfish because even though she is putting in long hours too, I criticize her about not volunteering to come to the shop to overhaul an engine, or rebuild a tranny. I mean wtf? She can't take 10 minutes out of the day to help me?<br />
Im selfish that on my one day off a week I get upset that my wife has it already mapped out for me, and if I react poorly, or I am not enthusiastic enough, or I pause to think after telling me about an activity I am going to participate in, I am informed as to how selfish I am.<br />
I am selfish because I have the nerve to get upset about being criticized, even though I should know women are not critical and that they are just "sharing" <br />
I am selfish because I don't share my thoughts as often, as fast, as detailed, as intimate as my wife or her mom, or her girlfriends<br />
I am selfish because if I really loved her I could interact with her the same way her girlfriends do even though I don't have a husband to complain about, or a vagina.<br />
I am selfish because I am the only person my wife argues with, I don't think she's great like her friends do, and if I could only treat her like her friends do everything would be fine<br />
I am selfish because I could cut off my arm to show my wife how much I love her, and all I would get is "great, now I will "never" get help with the dishes.<br />
In other words people- Garbage in- Garbage out, you reap what you sow. I love my wife and my family, and yet spend a majority of time fantasizing about divorce because I am heart broke and cannot talk about my feelings to my wife- because when women want men to "share" they really mean just the stuff they want to hear.
Huh.Your nickname pretty much says it all about ya.....and I don't have to waste my time saying anything to you. :s
You know he did that to prove a point right? He does not wake up and think, huh. I'm a horrible selfish Mommas boy
Wow that post says it all abouut ya... no common sense, you think it was a coincidence his name was that way, no he put it to be ironic. Jesus Christ why the hell do I even waste my time posting/reading these q&a's. 80% of the posters are either 3 years old or simply have no common sense and talk like they know everything there is to know. LMFAO
why did you marry someone you clearly don't love?
THAT'S BECAUSE SHE IS THE KIND OF WOMAN MOST OF YOU DUMB MEN GO FOR. WHILE GOOD WOMEN GET THE LEFTOVER MEAN, ABUSED AND USED BUTTHEADS. WELL I HAVE SOME SUPRISE FOR ALL MEN 2014 COMING. IT'S BEEN STEWING FOR 5 YEARS AND IF EVEN YOUR *** IS CHEATING THE WORLD WILL KNOW
Poor baby:D Your wife can provide for herself and don't need you to purchase her things or spend time with her. I'm sure she would be much happier by herself...enjoying friends and family without you. So get over yourself homeboy. Maybe you've changed a thought patterns since you posted this...I HOPE SO. Get over yourself.
Of course there are two sides to every story, but based on your side, your wife sounds like the more selfish one to me. If you love her yet fantasize about divorce, you and she have a serious communication problem and need counseling.
It feels like that because they're true. They're more self-centered than most women are. If you stacked up the range of men next to the range of women, you'd find that yes, there are some good, giving men, but far fewer than there are good, giving women.<br />
You sound young, but when you get older you'll see it: the men agree with you. Because it's true. They also come to admit that women are stronger, manage more, manage better. Most marriages, in the end, are about the woman holding the man together, which is why after a marriage -- however it ends -- usually the man's the one running right out to find a new woman, while the woman will just sit, wait, pull her life together. <br />
They need us more, but here in my 40s I can't see that they make a case for our wrapping our lives around theirs, doing for them. I keep waiting for it to happen, but...you know, I take care of me and my kid, I just started a new job, today the department's big star came in to say hi, and guess what, she's a woman. Women hired me. I've worked almost exclusively for women over the last five years, not because I go looking for female bosses, but because that's who hires, they're in charge. I hear a lot of men complaining how unmanned they feel, with women happy on their own and doing what used to be men's jobs, but I really don't see too many stepping up and willing to do half what the women do. It's a shame, but after watching decades of this, I'm not impressed.<br />
I used to ask ex-boyfriends who became great friends: why can't I find a good man? And they'd tell me: well, men aren't so great, for one, and for another, you're very scary, because you're smart and for real and you don't take ****, and most men can't handle that -- they see a pretty, quiet woman and figure they can push you around or take advantage, and you put that **** down in a New York minute. And it scares them off. True nuff. I wish they were better, but in the meantime, I don't know, I seem to have things pretty good.<br />
Anyway. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Rather than fretting, just find your limits, tell him where they are, and if he crosses them, walk without a second thought, because all he'll bring you is more of that.
I'll admit I only read the first few lines of your post, and you sound smart, but I don't want you to mislead anyone. When you say Men are more "selfish", you do understand how they are interpreting that right? While your post is true, you have to consider your audience, what he meant was men tend to spend more time getting **** done, hopefully your familiar with them being tagged as PROVIDERS, while women are CARETAKERS. So by selfish he meant men spend less time babysitting their own and other peoples emotions and more time BUILDING/CRAFTING/ETC so the rest of you can benefit and have cars to drive, etc. etc. And by women being giving he meant spends more time babysitting their own and other peoples emotions, and not really worrying about the bigger things, It's a great system that nature has implemented for us, it only doesnt work for the 2% of men who are wired like women and vice versa.
i'm a guy, and me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now, and one of the things she's said to me is that i'm very generous. not all guys are selfish, some (myself included) are extremely giving. as for the second question, some of us have difficulty expressing love, and mostly because it's awkward for us, and then there are guys like me. sometimes my girlfriend will tell me that i shouldn't love her, that she's only causing trouble for me, i tell her the same thing everytime. i tell her that i will always love her no matter what.<br />
i think you should just look at a guy's actions more than his words. eg. you both go to a night club or something, does he walk a couple of steps ahead of you or behind you, or does he walk by your side.
awwwwwwwwww thats just cute,well some men r like dogs,thats a fact!well..... my bf walks beside me and holds my hands,the only time he might go in front of me is when he is in a horry and if he is behind me i always walk faster than he does or he just wants to look at my buttocks
I am truly sorry for those of you that do know how to treat the woman in your life, but you must see that men like yourself are few and far between. Am i being too sensitive? When my bf stops to purchase a coffee for himself wouldn't you think he would text and ask if id like one since we work together? If I prepare meals and do the grocery shopping for the household, don't you think he could in the very least offer to do the dishes? When I point out the selfishness of the blanket hogging, why else would he have a tempertantrum and move to the couch rather than listen to my concerns of his selfishness. He gets defensive and seems to me this relationship will fail as most have because it appears that i give and give and then its no longer an act of kindness,. it becomes expected???? this is my story, or at least a part of it
Ur rite, alot of men can be generous. The father of my kidsis always kind, even after i put him thru hell, he has always been givin n respectful. I on da other hand chose to be wit a man who onlycares about him self, total oppisite of my baby daddy! Careless to any of my needs n desires, and disrespectfull. Y did
waste 3 years of my life wit dis selfish man!!!! I love him, n misshim cuzi jus dumpped his sorry *** 3 dayz ago! I dnt wana go bak to himbut dam i miss em:(
Give us a chance, just ask and the chances ar we'll do it, we're not mind readers
blah yeh like every other girl whose commented on this page your boyfriend sounds selfish but most girls are selfish. Its not a gender issue, most people spend more time thinking about themselves but thats probably because it makes them happier.
I think the only people who don't spend more time thinking about themselves are the ones who have commented on this page.
He probably doesnt wanna be with you but doesnt wanna hurt you either. Thats the reason a lot of relationships suck, esp. if your the type of girl that will start bawling at the words, "we need to talk". This isnt 100% the case, he might have a lot going on at work or anywhere else in his life, stressors make ppl have a much shorter fuse and less affectionate, and just about every other negative thing you could name. Or you could just be dating a douche, was he always like that?
I feel the same way... my husband is the kind of guy that does help out with the dishes etc, but when he does do it he seems to think he deserves some kind of award, and that he is some kind of Martyr or something... yet I do so much every day for everyone... silently... getting on with it and not expecting any special kind of award, and it's like I may as well do nothing... On a daily basis (we have an infant) I do the 12am the 2:30 the 5:30 and the 7:30 feeds and so on... and he moans he is tired!!! If I do get him to do a feed or help out its moan, moan, moan.... and he makes so much fuss, that I may as well have done it myself, and then I make breakfast... and lunch and dinner, and wash and sterilise all the bottles, clean the kitchen the bathroom etc, etc, etc... and because he always does the hoovering he seems to think he is some kind of Martyr and he does it all!!! Yep, he actually implied that he does most if not all the housework... no speaking to him now.... selfish ****!!
I'm a guy & I'm not selfish? I'm the most giving person you could ever meet and I love my fiancee more than anything.
She is fortunate to have you in her life. Go clone yourself :)
Thank you for your reply. :)
Well, speaking as a man, I can assure you that i'm not selfish!<br />
If you knew me & saw the kind of heart that I have, your perception would be pretty different.<br />
Generalizing is not cool!
your right generalising is not cool and fits under the category of "absolute bulls**t
I am responding to "Toasty3D".You think we have generalizations about men.What about a man who has sex with multiple woman and is seen as a "big shot" or "lucky man".If a woman sleeps with many guys she is automatically a *****/****,how is that for generalization? You judge us like we judge you.You expect from us as much or more than what your mother can provide.I don't understand how men want their wives to be like their mothers,I know I don't want my husband to be like my father,or mother for that matter. I want him to be my husband, that's it!
Preach it girl!
YOU ARE DATING THE WRONG MAN. Men (and women) who behave selfishly do it because they have been enabled in this behavior by current or past partners, and have realized that they can get away with it. It's your choice whether you want to put up with it. Once the people (like our dear friend iarmiob down there) who are so sickeningly self-centered and ignorant as to believe that they are somehow excused for acting this way realize that no one is buying into their egotistical bullshit anymore and they can't get a date without paying for it, then and only then will they *possibly* enter into some sort of introspection long enough to accept the sad, selfish reality of their lifestyle.<br />
In the meantime, you certainly do not and should not have to tolerate it. You don't have to accept it. You don't have to fight about it. <br />
Just walk away.<br />
I've had several boyfriends over the years, ranging from one end of the selfishness spectrum to the other, and one thing I have learned in that time is this : a pretty face or fat wallet can be replaced in a day. Someone who truly understands you, listens to what you have to say, and makes an effort every day to make you happy is much more valuable. <br />
My boyfriend I have now is the best I've ever had. Yeah he forgets to put the seat down (often) and plays video games more than I like, but he genuinely listens to me when I talk, treats myself and my daughter like beautiful princesses, and never complains about me asking him to help do the dishes or waking him up an hour earlier than usual to babysit or giving me rides around town when my car's in the shop. He always buys lunch and never complains if I didn't have time to shave my legs today. <br />
And I never would have met him if I'd wasted my time clinging and pandering to any of the lesser specimens I've previously dated.<br />
If someone doesn't make you happy, and care about making you happy, FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL. It's not that hard if you just keep trying.
no man will ever accept he is selfish..but that doesn't change the truth. yes it is true that although most men are selfish there are the odd few that aren't..but still..men are just too used to being given attention more than women and don't like it when it doesn't happen..and are not willingly to return it so this says one thing to me..men are weak but they are under the illusion that they are stronger than women and wont admit to the truth
Men are used to being given more attention than women? Are you insane? If men didn't initiate relationships humans would become extinct.
My mom got lucky. She married at 24, had her career at 22, and started her family at 26, with my father back in '76. Times have really changed (the morality of people have really changed)... yet I am still counting my lucky stars. This is what I want if I can ever get married, BUT alas, I've had one too many break ups and relationship drama that I think the single child free life is calling me already.... Tootles everyone! Good Night!
I am a bloke myself, don't let any divorced saddo condemn you to a life of solitude, I would do anything for my gilfriend and am constantly trying to please her. No one can judge 3.5 billion people with one statement, all men are different but most struggle to be open and honest so yours is just the wrong person.
A man in love can be a dangerous proposition. Read the news lately. Whole families killed by the estranged husband. Soon to be ex wives killed by husbands who then kill themselves. Story after story after story. It scary. I would rather be by myself than have a man be in love with me. It's a matter of self preservation in this society of violence and retribution. A man isn't as emotionally dependent as a woman and that is a scientific fact. Women are naturally more affectionate and welcoming than men and that is also why they have stronger bonds with their children.
The being "in love" isn't what drives a man to murder. The need to control and own and a really messed up head (probably abused as a child) are what does that. And I disagree with your statement that men are less emotionally dependent than women. Scientific fact? Seriously? How would science even set out to prove such a thing. If you look at men's behaviors after breakups, I think you'll find women fare better emotionally. If you look at statistics, married men live longer than single men - something that suggests an opinion contrary to yours. Typically, men who have been married a long time are in successful relationships where they are cared for and nurtured and validated. Women live much longer than men (statistically). We're able to take care of our emotional needs with or without men - we have each other, and we have the skills to give support and take sustenance more easily and readily than do men.
it's sad how feral the world we live in is. Love leads to murder
Too often a woman will feel this way when it just isn't the caseat all. We just think & act differently that women do & we can't help it. It's all in how we are hardwired as men. I have an Ex-wife who I loved dearly that thought that because I worked hard (to provide for her & I) and played hard (as a matter of my own mental health in order to be a better husband) that I didn't love her!??! It's way too over quoted but read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. We (men) go off to our "caves" to recupe & get our heads straight BUT we ALWAYS come back!!
Are you seeing anyone? I'm still available ;P
You women are pure garbage. Selfish to you is obviously not giving more back than we receive. <br />
When was the last time you were in a relationship where you worked the same hours at a job of equivalent difficulty as him that after you came home from you followed with by outproducing his domestic works and kindnesses? Probably never. Women are not better than men and they never have been.<br />
You have this Victorian notion that if a woman is dissatisfied it is because the man is not adequate enough to satisfy. It is quite at odds with the egalitarian, pragmatic ideals of being social equals. And I can say there is nothing more trashy than believing those types of princess minded notions. It makes women seem barely human when they do.<br />
Do you really think you measure up (if you were to document all that you do and all that he does and make comparisons) as human beings as better than those men you feel slighted by?
all you minge holes are deluded...First. Jesus was a man. Second. it was men who invented the very keyboard you are typing with, built your house and created all the anti-depressants you are undoubtedly dependent on. Third. women have done nothing but sit on their fat arses and moan since day dot.
Amidy is a ******* idiot, you're like the 1%. I doubt I'm the majority either, I believe the reasons for most ppl being in a relationship is wrong, I know what I'm about to say is the exact opposite of conservatives, christians, and anyone else slowing down human evolution, but stop and think a second with a logical, open minded perspective and see if that sheds any light. Also before I begin I feel like its worth saying that men and women are simply different, not that long ago (from evolutionary viewpoint) men did all of the providing, woman still worked hard, but just maintenance stuff like taking care of kids, cooking, cleaning, keeping their man's spirits up, etc; and ofc they were child bearers, only makes sense for them to be given those roles, gl hunting and all that good stuff @ 8 months pregnant, and I'm sure it would be great for the baby, I'm kinda ramblind now so I'm just gonna stop there and say what I have to say. Why the hell does everyone get in a relationship to start with? Well, nowadays it usually starts off with lust, they have sex, the girl USUALLY feels attatched to that person, the reasons for this go back thousands of years... the guy doesnt see any problem with this, unless he's experienced, (and thats another reason a lot of guys are so selfish, there sick of letting women in and ruining their life (from a productivity and a lot of times happiness viewpoint)) so he just goes along with it, 3 months later she's moved in or just very attached and the guy just assumes this is what makes him happy cuz every1s in a relationship, and still goes along with it, although there are certainly doubts in the back of his head, but he still usually goes along with it, then 6 months pass and he starts telling all his friends how bad he wants to be single and that his new life "sucks" but he doesnt wanna hurt the girl so he just sticks with it, next thing you know he's married. Guys are wired to constantly be doing productive stuff, hunting, gathering, building, etc. While woman are wired to be caretakers. Now evolution could definitely bring us to a point where men and woman are fairly similar, I personally highly doubt that will ever happen, cuz its pretty pointless and this system works great except for the 2% of woman who actually are wired like men, and vice versa.<br />
What I originally intended to type: If your boyfriend is selfish even when your already giving him all that you should, well he probly is a douche, had a ****** childhood, or too good of one, and whatever factors contributed to him becoming a douche, with that being said, ask yourself, why does he need you? What does he have to gain from being with you? What does he lose from being with you? Because if your not taking good care of him I dont see why he should be with you, guys dont have to always feel loved by someone to be happy, **** its usually the opposite, the less bs/drama (people) we have to deal with the better.
Actually I am the same as you and I am a woman! I don't need to be pregnant! I just wanted to because I was curious and stuff....
Jealous sadly of those other show offy women with their protruding big bellies. Sad wasn't it?! Now that I have changed one of my major life goals, I no longer feel that being pregnant and or having babies especially right now since I cannot even afford to care for myself, is taken to the side lines or put away for now at least, I share your view point for the most part.
Because men are pure evil. Why do they exist on this earth? They have no feelings at all and destroy this planet.
Lets face it, men and women are both biologically very different. We are wired very differently from each other and it takes certain different things to make each of us tick. Its these differences which draw attractions in each other and therefore its up to us to understand and accept opposing sex characteristics and not oppose them to make relationships long lasting. Of course a male will have different needs to a female, be less sensitive etc as a males drive and whole process of thinking is completely different to that of a females. Hence as mentioned in another post females in general are better at nurturing and raising families due to their better emotional attachment with children.
Hey. I am a male. First, why it feels you love us more than we love you, a decent amount of woman are more emotional than guys, not all. So, they will strive more to show there affection. That is an adaptation, because look at it from a historical standpoint. <br />
Second. Please, for the love of god, stop the generalization. Most of that would be like me say all women are feisty, easy to anger, and mood swingy. That would technically be true, because of both menopause and pregnancy.<br />
Third. Men are raised by their mother to be selfish. Really? Are you kidding me? A mother raising her child with the goal in mind for him to be selfish. Even self-concously, I honestly doubt that more than 5% of men are raised to be selfish. Obviously, you have never had a male sibling, and if so, you were either the middle child or the oldest if a line of boys.<br />
Fourth. Hungry for sex. You got me on that. Know why? It gives around the same level of dopomene in the brain as cocaine. Basically, sex gets us high. It is the same with women, but much harder to achieve.<br />
Fifth. Again, all men are selfish. You haven't even MET one percent of the male population, and before you say we all have the same opinion so it must be true, it isn't. This is a bias website because the only way one would get to it would be to type in "why are men so selfish."<br />
Sixth. Final reason because I doubt most of you are still reading this. <br />
Woman can be just as bad as men. How many 20 year old men do you know that are dating an 80 year-old millionaire? And ex husbands going off on woman? That is hardly fair. My neighbor was shot and died when I was 17, know why? Not because the man who did it suffered a tragic breakup, because he was MENTALLY INSANE. People do stupid stuff all the time, remember when that woman drowned three of her kids? Wasn't because the husband "didn't pay enough attention".<br />
Rebuke. I know, pardon my language, that men can be real ********. But just because one, two, three men have u a bad experience does not mean that you should never date or marry again. Importantly, and I'm sorry for bringing this up again, never wanting kids because you never want to be a mother in law? Are you kidding me? Or maybe because you just know that you will raise them to be selfish? I understand worrying about raising kids, but not having them ba<x>sed on a sexist stereotype? Also, about the woman loving children more than man? Again, nature strikes. It us intended in the natural world for the man to leave after action, and the female stays. Lastly, for anyone who thinks all men are sexist, and no women are, really? What about this website?
My husband and I have been married 10 years now..We have a beautiful 9 year old boy.who happens to be autistic..I am a stay at home mom. my husband works outside the home..So, I take care of everything..I cook every night, do the dishes , laundry, cleaning, take out the trash, take care of the car, do the yardwork, take care of our son..etc...He works comes home. gets on the computer or watches sports everynight..On the weekends he goes off and does whatever he wants...Takes trips with his friends..Not once have we taken a family trip..and does nothing with our son..I am so fed up with him..If I try to talk to him. he gets very angry...sometimes violent..I am stuck in this relationship...I have no job..no income to leave him...I am only 44 years old..but feel like I am 84..feel like my life is over...
I am in a similar situation, I'm 28 yrs old, I've been married for nearly 4 yrs, I'm in the process of packing my things....i have had more than enough. He is very disrespectful, we do nothing together, he doesn't interact with the kids, we don't even talk. He provides for us, I don't work just take care of home, I had to dig deep down and finally decide that we deserve better, I'm sure I'll be fine in time...and u the same
i'm really sorry for your situation. make sure things are really as bad as you make them out to be, and if they are leave. do you feel anything at all when you look into his eyes? do you look into his eyes?
I know this will probably hurt you, but ... I'm willing to bet from reading your post that if he could go back and time and claim his life back he would.
And that your husband sounds like a douche and your one of those couples who should have never met. Definitely not trying to say its your fault, which my other post might have led you to believe.
Same as your situation... get out and have a good future, would have been better if ya'll never met, but thats life. Next time remember that the first 6 months of a relationship doesnt count, I thought that this rule of thumb was common practice, but I guess not. RELATIONSHIPS DONT COUNT FOR FIRST 6 MONTHS LADIES!!!
Some bs, you will def feel something when you look into his eyes, please dont take that advice.
I have been in your shoes. Life isn't over but it will never start for your son or yourself until you leave him. There are plenty of safe houses and resources that will help you get through this. You are a strong woman and don't let him take that from you.
Plan for itself, start now....no way do you deserve that. Men r disrespectful slobs.
I know that my boyfriend loves me. He makes sure to tell me multiple times every day, and is affectionate.<br />
However, whenever I tell my boyfriend that I'm not happy because of something that he's doing, he just tells me that my feelings are my problem. "I didn't make you sad... that's just your reaction to it. I haven't done anything."<br />
If I'm sad, he gets irritated because I'm sad. If I'm angry, he almost gets angrier than I was, even if it has nothing to do with him.<br />
He gets annoyed if I don't want to talk about why I'm feeling sad, angry, annoyed, etc. But then the second I do, it just becomes about him and why he feels upset because of what I've said.<br />
Whenever I actually do want to talk about how I feel, he always starts to listen to me while he's completely on the defensive.<br />
If I tell him that I'm not happy with something that he's doing, his reaction is "Well, then leave!" And then he gets sad... "Why do you hate me?"<br />
I'm debating on whether or not I should stay. He claims that he does care about me, and I'm sure that he does... but he's just going to do his thing so he can be happy.<br />
I'm not sure what to do at this point. I love him deeply, but I don't feel like my efforts are reciprocated.
GEEEEZZZZ! He sounds like someone who wants you to be "sitting pretty" all the time. Can't accept that you're human & mortal. -_- Don't torcher yourself like this.....it's not good for your mental health.
i will tell you the truth about how men feel. essentially, men think that women are shallow, and a bit boring. we feel that women don't have the depth to hold a conversation on issues of any importance. whether this is true or not doesn't matter. what matters is that this is how men view women. you can choose to call my a sexist if you want, i am giving you the real story. men realize that their lives would be better without women, intellectually- however, emotionally, they feel that they need companionship. they want a girl friend to feel, normal. they want women for social engagements, and sex. ultimately there is a level of resentment with men, that to get to this place of normalcy that they must be around their gf, or wife permanently. they go to bed, they wake up, they come home from work, etc. etc. etc. it annoys that **** out of us. we are extremely selfish, granted. but this is the truth. i have dated women, and i have felt this same circle, over-and-over. as have my friends, who are contemplative enough to understand it. a man would much rather hang out with his 'boys', who are funny, and interesting- than a girl, who is essentially emotional, and shallow. to men, women are a necessary evil. we love women on an emotional level, but again, on an intellectual one we realize that things would be better without them. the practicality of always having a female around calls for far more endurance than men have. the overall return on investment is not one that a rational man would accept. i'm sorry if i sound like a monster, i am not, i am a good man. but if you want some truth, instead of speculation and emotion then i have given it. any attractive man that you end up with is going to feel this way. The only kinds of men who are not like this are gay men, ergo not interested in you- or men who have not had much experience with women, and still feel like there is more to them than there really is. The same goes for women, perhaps, the less experienced still think there are perfect men out there. Reality is this: planet earth is not a land flowing with milk and honey where ever Jack finds his perfect Jill, and vise versa. If you want a 'good-man', find one who wants to marry you, and especially have children. Not as an after-thought, but as a real goal, and source of pride. These men will fight for their relationships with their women, and for their children. They will not string you along, dating you for six-years all the while looking at other women, to see if they can get one they prefer more (which is the mentality of men who date for years without marriage). Look for a man who is a provider, and genuinely loves kids, and views his place in society as a provider and a person who raises children. To get a man like this, be maternal. Be a motherly loving woman. Take care of the house, want to raise children, want to cook and feed and clothe them. Feminism has destroyed women. Men are not attracted to business women, or 90 pound models. They want women who love children, and people- not women who are cold and good at negotiating business deals, or whatever garbage women are taught these days. Men look down on these types of women, they are a major turn off. Men want to be with motherly females, not manly females. If that offends your sensibilities then deal with it- again i am speaking the truth, as a man. If a ‘good man’, like i’ve described can’t find a woman like that, they will marry the most attractive one they can find, and accept the trade off. That's my best advice. If a guy doesn't want children, he wants to be selfish, and he will use you. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
Contrary to your short summary. Rumor has it you like air heads, therefore you do not know having a fun conversation with a female, with brains or humor.
Just because a guy is affectionate and tells you he loves you doesnt mean he really wants to stick around, I can get like that if I start to see that I'm not liking where a relationship is taking me, but I'm far too kind to bring the girls parade crashing down, despite how my forum posts may make me sound. It sounds to me like you need to be single for a while to get more in touch with your emotions, this is just a guess, but I would say you've been constantly in and out of relationship, not much alone time, surrounded with friends, or someone has taken a great deal of effort to shelter you, (parent, guardian, friend, uncle, boyfriend, etc). Be single for 6 months - 1.5 years and do your own thing, making sure you keep a positive mindset, and after you will find that after you are a much stronger and well rounded individual.
I appreciate your honesty, and it definitely explains why my boyfriend acts the way he does. Thank you for taking the time to express your thoughts as a man.
That's a unhealthy relationship. Give him and ultimatum and if he doesn't agree then walk away. You deserve better.
No Men are selfish just deal with it.
Who stays in an unhappy relationship because they have kids together? Want the answer? It's generally women!
Who gets abortions because the guy doesn't want children? The women.
And how dare you say that we are dumb and boring! Where did you get these sources? You are really sexist and it shows! How many scientists are out there right now finding cures for HIV/AIDS/CANCER what have you?! Some medical students in college are WOMEN....
Now tell me where you get your stupid ideals from....