Demands in the name of love are emotional pick pockets using threats of abandonment to trigger fear of rejection to wrest ill gotten gain from our loved ones. We cannot indulge in this behavior and not feel the shame of a common thief. We abuse and are abused in the name of love but wonder at our antipathy toward close relationship. Everyone who loves someone wants them to be happy and thus would counsel you to do what you want. Anyone who ob<x>jects to you doing what you want probably doesn't love you. The same is true in reverse.
We are all just larger versions of our child selves, unfortunately most people never really mature(my opinion) so it's the 'basic' childish mode of thinking you know, 'me me me' and the shame that comes when you admit you're wrong, people don't want to seem weak even if it benefits a loved one, sacrifice is hard.