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I just wanted to elaborate a bit on this. I just found out some nasty things a family member said about me to my husband and children during a seperation. Yet, they were talking to me and being openly friendly the whole time to my face. It just unnerves me that people can live with being this way. I am a very honest and sincere individual and if I have an issue with someone I tell them. I would much rather this person be honest with me about how she feels instead of putting on a major front that she likes me and wants me involved in her life.
naivenomore naivenomore 26-30 26 Answers Mar 26, 2009

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We have to accept that we are all hypocites to some degree. It is only natural for everyone to put their own interests first. We must trust others in order to survive but that trust must be tempered with good judgement. Often our expectations of others is not realistic and we end up hurt.

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very true, i have been taken back and even hurt by the things people say about me or others, now i don't have as may friends and don't really talk to family, all they do hurt one another, i steer clear.

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It makes them feel that they are a bigger person....But you know that you are the biggest person there....

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I suppose its because they are not happy with true face, (who they trully are) therefore they keep putting on masks, and changing to conform to those around them at the moment, living a life of charades and those who are in their lives are simply their audience.

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Usually I would agree fully that it is a self-esteem issue that person has. But, in your question you say that it was a family member and it was during a separation to your hubby. The only possible variable would be if it was one of his family members. Why I say this is because when my sister and her old boyfriend had initially split we went on an all out bash fest of him. Not that I had anything personal against him, he was a nice guy, it was just the only way I knew how to be there to support her. It helped her get her anger out and she felt better. Of course they got back together and one day he asked why I had said all those things, well agreed with her, and I simply told him that it was nothing personal, just my job as a sister. Maybe this was partially the case in your situation. I would suggest asking straight out, you cant ruin an already ruined relationship with this person. If you are always suspicious of their motives you will never be able to move past this. Just my opinion.

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people are so two-faced because they think they are something if they are talking about someone else.<br />
Alot of people do it coz they are ashamed of their sad, sorry lives and think it's better to focus the conversation on someone else's life to keep from touching the subject of their own life.<br />
I wouldn't worry about it. family they may. are they important parts of your family?<br />
I've had a cousin tell me to kill myself.. best thing i did was just ignore him and show him i wasn't bothered. i don't class him as part of my family. and to be honest, i don't miss him. <br />
If i was you, just ignore it. Whatever they've said about you, next time they talk to you, act as if you know nothing, but say something that touches upon the subject. e.g. if they said "oh my god naivenomore didn't do her washing yesterday", when you speak to them say "oh my god, i've done so much washing these last two days, it's unbelieavable."<br />
i'm not implaying you don't do any washing! i just couldn't think of any better example. Try and sort of, prove them wrong without them knowing that you know what's been said.<br />
i hope you understand what i'm trying to say. there's no other way i can put it. sorry.<br />
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i hope it's helped a little though.

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I have that same problem here with my family but it's mostly my mother. To me I find it really immature two faced people what makes it worse my mother tries to turn me and my sisters and brother against each other. It's not courage that's the only problem but maturity. My mother thinks what shes doing is right but in my opinion it's wrong all I can do is feel like break my connection from her. She really feels like she holds the power to everythin. In my opinion people who are two faced fails the role they play in and are lonely people who are pitied

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I beleive ppl talk about others to make there self bigger. But what i dnt understand is when u and the other person confronts that person the person that was being talked about to says well i dnt want nobody being mad at me an continues to talk to that person after they seen all the stuff was said. And then acts like shes mad at me.

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Because that's just how people are and I had dealt with people like that, the ones who smile in your face but do and say the dirtiest behind your back. People like that just make me sick to my damn stomach.

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maybe becouse they are affraid to look properly in your eyes...they are weak enought to wear a mask

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Don't know. It is a damn shame though. It hurts, and causes nothing but strife. <br />
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The best part is how they think they are so clever and are getting over on you. When, in reality, you are onto them the entire time. <br />
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It just hurts, and I wish people would not act like that. =/

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I guess some people actually do this subconsiously while others may actually do this just to get along with the flow of the conversation. <br />
They might not necessarily have the intent to be 2 faced, but it might be just part of the conversation. <br />
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What i have discoverd from past experiences is, have my facts right to ensure there isn't any miscommunication. Once i have established this, i would confront the person to understand why they did it.<br />
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Sometimes its really an innocent act with no bad intent, other times its just sheer hyprocrisy to please & be liked by the other party.

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My family does the same thing to each other only it is said around and to the small childeren and if they accidentaly say something to the person, the child is punished FOR TELLING THE TRUTH! One day, my little sister told me that my parents thought me coming over on Saturdays to see them means that I am a loser with no life. They said that I need to be out on the weekends with friends, not visiting them. I asked them about it and they said that she was lying and they enjoy my visits. Later, I found out that she had been punished for repeating what they had said. I stopped trusting my family long ago for many reasons, but this is just rediculous! I started going out on Saturdays instead of visiting my family. They would get upset and call me complaining that I would rather go out with friends then come visit them. I could not make them happy no matter what! I stopped caring about what they thought from that point on. I am so dissapointed in my parents. I use to think they were better than that. I just don't get how I could live with people for eighteen years and never know that they were like this. It's not just with me though, it's everyone that they talk about. I am just disgusted with them.

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I believe that two faced people have a sickness, they change from one face to another to fit in, so they have a cripled way of fitting in.There are some that go through their entire life being 2 faced.MY heart goes out to these people.It would take them to open up and possiably see someone that could turn them around.Thy start getting away with this at a time when they did not want to feel or know the truth,it would only make them look badbad.They use the other face.There is nobody that is happy being like this.It is all they know how to be.I think if we could win the trust of one, there might be a chance to help set them free. Good Question!

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Humans are very complex creatures with a large gambit of emotions and opinions. A lot of what I feel is directly hypocritical to other things I feel. For example, I've got a couple I was friends with and they broke up. I empathize with him because she's being mean, but yet I empathize with her because she's going through something big herself and he's just catching the crap from it. I've decided not to say anything to either of them because it would look very two faced when it's really more complicated then that.

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I think people are two faced because they lack the courage to be honest. Instead of saying what they really think they use cowardess to hide behind. That way people think well hey that person is ok. Until the true colors start to come out. Then everyone is caught off gaurd when they find out how that person really and truely is.

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Because they expect some advantages from you !<br />
They would be very nice if they see that they would get some profits out of it ...<br />
Since the materialism has played a significant role in our society today, Thus, we have to ccept that people live for advantage and wear mask to each others in order to hide the greed inside ;)

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maybe they got dr jecklyll and mr. hyde disease? and cant help it?

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It is easy to be two faced or three or four faced on line.<br />
People can be/do what ever they want .<br />
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I prefer to be one faced. I am only me and I am completely honest. It is truly easier that way.

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There's no real reason why someone is two-faced....... people make all kinds of excuses for back stabbers but being two faced is a choice they know exactly what their doing, they plan things and are very sneaky....... their cowards and will run away if you fight back all it takes is once you can get rid of them fast by standing up for yourself, they only go after vulnerable souls...... they set people up to get hurt, lie make up stories their very evil........ they hurt a lot of people over the years, ruin lives, and then they die! Just run away from them They will hurt you and not care most people are evil stay home where your safe its the best advice...... Everyone wants to hurt you its scary! The bible mentions all of this it mentions the wicked a lot....... It mentions severe weather, illnesses, diseases, morals everything will get worse its not gonna get any better! <br />
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