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Why are some women and some men, so violent, control freaks, manipulative and disrespectful to their partners?

How do they justify all of this in their heads, when they give so little yet expect so much?

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    Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):

    Vessa - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Vessa Jan 13th, 2011 at 12:50AM

    Some people operate in a different "reality" when it comes to human interaction. And that reality is one of having power over other people. They don't operate with a sense of mutuality. They just want to "win". So they employ whatever means they must to insure that. That might involve making themselves indifferent to the rights or feelings of others. Anything that interferes with being in control is sacrificed. If necessary, they twist reality within their own minds. So that the victim is the one who receives the blame. Many controllers are so much into their little game that they will discard and subjugate their own emotions and consciences. Empathy or love can be a nuisance when you are trying to win a contest or subjugate everyone around you.
    Why are they like this?
    Some are raised that way. They follow the mindset they observed in a parent. Some have been taken advantage of and struggle to prevent that from ever happening again. Some are just narcissistic or sociopathic and enjoy pushing others' buttons. Abusers consider themselves superior, entitled, and justified.
    And it is good to remember...... No matter how much someone has been hurt or abused in the past, the decision to be an abuser is voluntary. It is about values and attitudes. Choosing to disrespect other people. To abuse is a CHOICE.

    [ Reply ] | Like (2)

10 Answers to "Why are some women and some men, so violent, control freaks, manipulative and disrespectful to their partners?"

  1. LifesGardener - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by LifesGardener Feb 10th, 2011 at 6:54PM

    Insecure, low self-esteem, ego driven, afraid and no self worth.

    Like (3)

  2. jcue1976 - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by jcue1976 Feb 10th, 2011 at 6:49PM

    they are abusers

    Like (1)

  3. Oddandsingular - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by Oddandsingular Jan 10th, 2011 at 12:09AM

    Lousy role models for some of them. A lot of that behavior is learned.

    Like (1)

  4. rickibrat2 - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by rickibrat2 Jan 9th, 2011 at 11:34PM

    they are humans and need to feel in controllof soemthing as ever thiging else is coming undone

    Like (1)

  5. swoozie - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by swoozie Jan 9th, 2011 at 11:09PM

    simply because we are only fooling ourselves thinking we can live together in harmony,,we should live on separate island with visiting hours.....we are going against nature, trying to be monogamous ......

    Like (1)

  6. Rolle2323 - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by Rolle2323 Jan 9th, 2011 at 11:07PM

    Usually if you could go back and look at their childhood and see how their Mother and Father treated them, you would find the answer. Lots of times when kids grow up and become men and women, they mirror what their Moms or Dads were like when they were growing up. If a boy sees his Dad being verbally abusive to his Mom, he is going to grow up and be the same way nine times out of ten. If children are beaten and abused, they will become violent when they are adults. If they feel powerless and afraid when they are children, they will become control freaks or manipulators.

    Like (1)

  7. alanjenkins - 70+ years old

    Posted by alanjenkins Jan 9th, 2011 at 10:52PM

    Because they are scared of something.

    Like (1)

  8. ForestSong - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by ForestSong Jan 9th, 2011 at 10:52PM

    Some people are butts.

    Like (1)

  9. coloco - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by coloco Jan 9th, 2011 at 10:51PM

    Does it really matter, just steer clear of them.

    Like (1)

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