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Blackstallion76 Blackstallion76 36-40, M 15 Answers Apr 5, 2012

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As previously commented, its all about trust. If my significant other asked for a pre-nup, I would be deeply hurt. To me, its like the beginning of the end before it even gets started. There shouldn't be an escape plan on love or marriage("or" because I realize, unfortunately, they don't always go together.) As for women who are offended by the prospect, since I'm guessing that is the majority, no, you don't need to "watch out" for them. Everyone is different, you can't ba<x>se your entire impression of a person on such a small detail.

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In that case there should be no "divorce", but ther is so why are most offended if asked to sign a pre nup?
Of course nobody plans on a divorce, well at least not supposed to plan on it, but some people do plan for a divorce.
Its like "insurance". Nobody plans on an accident, but they are prepared.
So once again, why are people offended when it comes to prenup?

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Because, like myself, they don't agree with you that a pre-nup is like insurance. In many cases, a pre-nup doesn't end up protecting both parties, whereas insurance(if the company is doing the right thing anyway) protects anyone it is purchased for. Also, emotions are involved with a pre-nup, not so much with insurance. Well, there is that slight cringe when you have to pay for it, but im guessing that there are very few people who love their insurance. People are offended because it feels like distrust. Whether that is reasonable or not, and I'm going to use a nerd reference here, emotions aren't reasonable, and since we aren't vulcans, people aren't always reasonable either. Sometimes you just don't have an easy explanation for why something offends you.

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I think you are the one to watch out for. Why are you anticipating the end?

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You did not read carefully either Rahskolnikov

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planning for the marriage to end, that is not the way to go into a life long committment. If your afraid it is going to end, don't get married.

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i think its because your planning for the end before its even begun.

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Obviously, you did not read carefully. Rtfm76

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i've answered why someone may be offended, as to who to look out for? who knows? even with a pre nup, u can still be ripped off.

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there should be a standing agreement to all marriages not only when you dissolve a marriage but how each will fufill the roles by each party. Even with the pressure of the church doing pre marital counselling people don't put the proper time and respect it needs to insure that everything will work out rather than trusting it will work out because of the love you have. Prenuptials should be seen as how do you demonstrate love when 'out' of love rather than if you need them you simply don't trust them.

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Although it's a good thing to protect you it can be offensive because if I remember correctly in a marriage you become one meaning both of you share everything including money. Marriage is about trust so by asking for a pre nup it's like saying I don't trust you and I don't really care about you if we end things because I want to keep my money all to myself and you keep yours. Yes some of them are gold diggers others are not.

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yes, those are the gold diggers

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It's a tough one because getting ready for marriage is such an exciting and positive time in your life and pre nuptials represent a bitter end to marriage. It's kind of like smearing a bit of dog poop all over your big day. On the other hand with the rate of divorce rising so rapidly and second and third marriages becoming so common, it is a reality for people who have assets they want to protect and even more so when children are in the picture. I don't think those who are offended need to be 'watched' but rather the discussion needs to be had in a more gentle way and as early as possible into the relationship once marriage is the path you both see for yourself - just so expectations on the topic a set and everyone has a good understanding of each others feelings. Signing one the day before your wedding sets an awful tone for the celebrations to follow....:)

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I think of it like insurance, you don't plan on having an accident, but you have piece of mind, but most females don't see it that way, if you bring up the topic just while dating, they get upset. So what do you think the deal is with that.

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Your analogy is spot on and I personally have no issues with per nuptial agreements, but it is a tough pill to swallow when you are getting ready to commit your life to someone. No one likes to think of it ending before it has begun. I think as time goes on it will become more accepted - like insurance or a Will - people will start to realise just how important a pre nup actually actually is and that it is there's to protect both parties. Which takes me to the next point that most people don't actually understand what they are or their rights.

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Some people think that because they tell you now they love you and would never do that, that will will love you and never do that. And then they do. They do not think they could ever change their minds. <br />
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Then there are those who know dam well that they will take you for everything that you have when the time suits them, and they want to leave that option open.

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It feels like conditional love, limited and untrustworthy. Causes an emotional balance from the start.

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I don't see it that way.
It's like insurance, you hope you never have to use it, but we all have accidents, and if you are so lucky to never have to use it, at least you are prepared.
So how is it conditional, limited, and untrustworthy.
A marriage these days are conditional, contractual, and limited

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I think people who need pre-nups should only marry others who need pre-nups. After all, otherwise it looks from the start like one is just a gold digger, and that is two strikes against marital success before it even happens.

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So what if one already has solid foundation before coming into marriage. But the other vows to be there for rich or poor, but the builder who built the foundation on their own wants to protect their foundation?

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It is not a match. Financial disparity always leaves one in power over the other.

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Perhaps they should just live together.

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So are you saying that one who less fortunate, should remain a less fortunate individual, and the one who is more fortunate should leave the less fortunate behind?

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I do not believe we see money or success in the same way. What is importsnt to me is not what is important to you.

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4 More Responses

Yes

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That's a generalization. And no. I honestly consider it to be the person putting themselves before their marriage. I don't like them. I wouldn't have any problem divorcing the man and making sure he keeps everything he made.

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Though I will agree that there are some men or the ego aren't worth their weight in house ****, it's still usually up to the female to make the ultimate decision whether or not to be with that man.
That being said and going back to my ideal of females not really knowing what they want, and also being of unstable mind. It is still up to the man to make the highest decision in preperation.
it's like this, none of us plan on having an accident, but we still need insurance.

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Again, generalizations. We definitely know what we want and we shouldn't be considered unstable just because you may be ignorant of us. No man (or woman) should make an ultimate decision on something that involves both partners. It's unfair. Like other people have said, you're planning for a possible disaster/divorce. You're not thinking of marriage which, to me, tells me you care more for yourself than your spouse. That's not a man to me and I wouldn't want to be with one like that.

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To call me ignorant, fire one is a judgemental statement.
I call it protecting my investments.
If I work for something before my marriage, I will decide it's fate not some judge, or woman.
If you are unable to predict what happens tomorrow, then your had better be prepared.
It seems like you would not want a man who is prepared, or one who thinks ahead of your and protects himself, family, and investments.
It seems today that females today are intimidated by men who can predict a females move before she makes it, and it ruffles her feathers.
She who gets upset over a prenup, before she even gets anything fails the ultimate test before she is even given anything.
Because she who truly loves her man will be with him whether he has anything or not. Therefore, that's why it is a "RED FLAG" when women get upset over a prenuptial, think about that.

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