Why am I attracted to an older man. Honest answer no idea. He is not my type at all but there is something about him that makes me think he is the most wonderful man I know. He is a family friend, he is the man who sorts out my car and for a few years he worked with my brother so I have known him some time. He is married but not happily. He rides a motorbike and has tattoos. What I do know is he gives me what as a person I have always wanted from a man where as all young men tend to want that extra bit. Because he is married we do not do that but we do kiss and hug and that's perfect. His kisses are the best I have ever had. He is always the gentleman and when we are together its just wonderful. Only pitty that we can only get together occasionally and he has to be home before the wife leaves work so its never very long we have together.

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Hmm... I think this is what brings me to ask the question in the first place, when I get an answer like this. You don't know or can't explain it, it is just what it is... I appreciate your reply, all of this is coming together in a sense :)

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What I am about to type may or may not help in your quest for an answer to your question but you might like to know it was something the man in question said to me a couple of years ago that started me with a big crush on him and if I had done what I normally do and keep my feelings to myself he would never have known and we would not be where we are now but he told me something and then before I knew what I had done I had told him how I felt and then he surprised me by saying it was fine and did I want to take it a bit further than we had at that point. If you look at some of my stories on here you can read all about it.

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Speaking from my own experience, when I was a young man, I don't think I treated women with the respect they deserve. As I got older, I learned to appreciate women more causing me to treat women with the respect they deserve. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the hands of time, providing I can keep what I have learned of course. Then I could treat women the way I should have the first time around. But to answer the question at hand, young men are still trying to figure out what direction their life is going in. As a result, they tend to have what I call the me complex, which basically is they are more concerned about their own wants needs and concerns. It's unfortunate because women can sense this in a man so when they meet an older man who is concerned about others and knows how to treat women with respect they expect and deserve, it's easy to see how they can be attracted to older men.

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reading what you have put and knowing what happened last week I think I understand a bit more of what is going on in my head. I am looking at the situation with a mind like a young man being just a bit self obsessed and my older man sees me and wants me to be happy yet last week I made him happy which my mind is finding hard to deal with and I probably made it ten times worse tonight. Well I wont be able to see him this week anyway so may be by the next time I see him I will have understood where my mind is going. thank you

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Chemistry. The dating (mating?) game has been with us since time began within certain boundaries of certain societies. There are some Nations where a person wouldn't possibly dream to have a partner with any great age-difference because it isn't deemed acceptable.<br />
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It happens, it's been happending for centuries (secret or otherwise) and it will continue to do. Not only for women, but also for men; there is *NO* division or league here over 'who does what more than who', men and women are just as likely to date younger or older than their own age.<br />
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Chemistry isn't *always* a deep science. Chemistry between men and women can simply equate to either one having preference of age over *anything* else; be tha sexual or in *any* other way doesn't matter. At its simplest, it all boils down to Chemistry and Chemistry (in the case of human behaviour, and in this particular instance) is that of personal choice through desire.<br />
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~F~

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Whao... Loving this info, it makes sense. I do believe there is also the possibility of them just using each other (Girls for a guys stability and guys for a girls young arm candy appearance) but you definitely give a reasonable explanation towards the age difference actually being viable in a reasonable sense. Thank you!

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As for playing games and using one-another? Oh that happens too, I have no reservations in believing it doesn't. But it still comes down to that word: 'Chemistry'. Playing games, but in this instance using Chemistry under different circumstances. I agree with you in what you say here ~F~

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I have no idea and I can't speak for all... but this is my theory with my dad..<br />
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My dad was in a band. ... he had gigs all throughout l.a. county and outside of l.a. county. <br />
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young dumb party girl drop out sees band, parties hard, drugs, alcohol, starts a relationship with bassist.. because she wants to party. and again she's young and stupid... party girl meets my dad and rest of band members.. .. she decides that my dad parties harder than bassist and gets with my dad. they both do coke, weed, crack, etc. etc. .. party girl think she's in love and gets pregnant with my dads baby.. party is fcked.. and so is my dad.. and they begin their life together.. and pretend it's love. :D yey!

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The truth is in the details.

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o.0 So like... It's a confusion thing that turns into pretend love because they get in way over their heads...? Interesting...

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Should I double-space my answer and add a title page?

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daddy complex here

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They haven't found a suitable person in their age category.

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Depends on the guy, how much older and many other factors.<br />
My Mum's father died six weeks before she was born. She grew up an only child in a house of women, went to a girl's barding school and came out as a young adult craving a father and having no idea about men. She fell in love with Dad who was 19 years her senior.<br />
When I was a nubile hippy art student in the late 70's / 80's I discovered that only 3 out of many young men were actually good lovers. They learned it because they actually enjoyed giving pleasure and took the trouble to learn how. The others just satisfied their own needs and assumed that this occurred automatically for females. The 3 who had learned were genuinely loving young men, just a little older, who had each had long term affairs that had given them the opportunity to learn. One had gone to great lengths to read up on female physiology and could literally tell each stage of a woman's arousal.<br />
The peak releases a flood of oxytocin, a hormone which not only generates a feeling of blissful contentment, but also causes bonding, love and loyalty, not just in humans but all mammals. Some are genetically endowed with more of it. Young women frequently have to learn how to reach the oxytocin flood point, and generally need the right kind of stimulation to get there. If this flood occurs rarely, unreliably or not at all, they will be unlikely to stick with that male. If it occurs frequently a young woman is highly likely to want to stay with him. Older men who have usually had longer relationships and an opportunity to learn a bit about how to make love thus have an advantage. But we are also speaking in gross generalisations here... tendencies which have validity in broad statistical sweeps of reports by researchers like Kinsey, Masters and Johnson and Hite. Among individuals there always exceptions of many kinds.<br />
Humans tend to be polymorphous perverse ( a term of Germaine Greer's which I rather like.)<br />
My own husband is 9 years my senior. We have been together over 25 years, and are very happy together, even though our sexual apparatus no longer function very well... all those years of oxytocin had a cumulative effect!

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I see... What your saying sounds like it is completely sexual based, but at the same time it is that sexual bond you built in the beginning that formed the trust and loyalty to build what you have now... Very very interesting, Thank you so much!

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Women are attracted to 'old guys' because in the old guys eyes they will always be forever young and forever beautiful. Their skin will always be softer, smoother and with less wrinkles. The old guy will always look at them and say you look beautiful because to an 'old guy' all younger women look beautiful. It is the way nature works.

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I don't believe in going into details , So here's the short deal of my own experience , An 18 year old approached me wanting marriage / She was running away from an abusive father / My answer / Sorry child my wife would ob<x>ject .

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They have wealth and social status that younger guys lack. If you're looking for a father for your baby do you pick the mature, established male with resources or the guy who might one day make it but then again might not?

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Very interesting view, it's the stability factor but with a real explanation for it. I just try to factor in the idea that if the age gap is way too big, they will lose their husband many many years before they go themselves which I would think would be very painful.

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because they satisfy then<br />
m from rich experience

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They want security or they have a daddy complex or maybe they just like the old guy lol you would have to ask the person who likes the old guy if you really want to know lol but there is a ton of theories about this topic lol knock yourself out haha

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Sure hoping a lot of people reply appreciate your point of view.

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Features, there is something nice about hat dusting of gray hair. They are thoughtful and well spoken. They understand the give and take of relationships. They are a little old fashioned and still open doors for you. They are probably better lovers - in that they are more likely to cuddle and want intimacy after sex. I've read studies that explain this, but I can only assume that that varies.

They give good advice. They are more patient. They want to spend time with you. They can laugh at themselves. While they are still masculine, they are less agressive.

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