I think, short of amnesia, there are things that are always going to be with you. I think you have to deal with them, but you don't have to harbor them the way that they are. I've found that sometimes you can change the SHAPE of things.<br />
For example, my husband cheated on me. I was hurt and ashamed and disappointed and angry and confused and shocked and about a hundred other negative things. I got very depressed and withdrew. <br />
Over time, though, I managed to banish most of those feelings. I reasoned out the false from the true. I realized exactly what happened and why and that none of it was worth continually hurting myself. I shook it off!<br />
The only thing I held onto was the anger. Still have a bit of that, and I use it as a reminder that I don't need to ever ever get emotionally involved with such a man again. <br />
So the core of my long answer is that you are probably a very sensitive and emotional person (I was.). You were hurt deeply, and you are allowing the wound to bleed. You are thinking about the past and revisiting the pain either because you somehow feel responsible or confused or some other negative emotion that holds onto you. Try to let it go.
A very wise person said to me a quote. You cannot change the past. but. you can change the future and live day by day because that is all you have. Get over it. Now that doesn't mean its easy to forget the horror, stupid mistakes. Once you stop feeling guilty or stupid for what you have done in the past. It does get better.
Maybe because you havent excepted the fact that they did happen. Or maybe you havent figured out how to live with what happened yet. Think about it.
maybe its because it has caused you to lose the chance to do things in your life that most people take for granted
Some thing permanently etch themselves into your mind, whether traumatic or just memorable. Unfortunately there is no way to just "erase" them. You have to cope and try to not let it affect your life. But if someone figures out a way to erase sh*t, let me know!
i have the same issue and i wish i had a good answer, but i don't. i do try my best to work on it, leave the past in the past but it's not so easy to do.
When you love and accept yourself, with all your flaws, then you can let go and move on. Just remember we all poop, fart, get boogers, fall on our face/or butt, humiliate ourselves at sometime or another... we all get hurt, usually many many times and we survive to do it/have it done to us again and again. Without the valleys of life, how will we ever know how wonderful the mountaintops are?
im the same somtimes u just have to let go i knw its hard.
What happened a year ago? TY.
Sounds like you need closure. I'm in the same boat there.