You have been with him for 15 years and you asking NOW
Weed is still a drug
You pack you clothes in a suitcase and walk out the door plain and simple
If you dont leave him then dont complain
After 15 years of emotional and physical abuse, it is hardly surprising that you find it hard to leave. He has taken away all of your spirit and confidence.
There IS help out there. You need to start calling around. Don't tell him you are going to leave, just make a plan and do it. Find a shelter for abused women or a homeless shelter, the Salvation Army or other organization. You may have to get on a waiting list; if so, do it. You have waited 15 years, you can wait a bit longer if you have to--so get on the list, even if it is a long one. Be sure to get copies of all of the needed documents, such as your children's birth certificates, your own birth certificate and any other papers you might need. Do it now, not at the last minute. Collect a small suitcase for you and another suitcase for your kids clothes and a few toys.
Do not talk to your boyfriend about any of this. He will only do his best to ridicule you and make you feel more afraid of the world beyond your door. Don't threaten to leave, don't discuss it or even mention it to anyone (they'll tell him for sure). Find a shelter, get your papers together, pack and go as soon as you can. Counselors at women's shelters know how to give you the kind of advice you need to go on with your life and they can provide emotional support as well.
If you do not belong to a church, start going to one. Even if you are not religious. A church can provide a good positive community of people whom you see once a week. A church can be the start of having new friends (very important) and a new life.
When you leave, it will be a brand new day and you will be surprised to discover how much stronger and clearer you feel just by doing it. The person you are now may not have the courage to leave but the person you will automatically become by taking some action and leaving has that courage. Make the call now, find a place and leave. Don't let your kids grow up believing that being a doormat to an abusive man is normal and acceptable.
You DO have friends out there, you really do. Wonderful friends who will help you and encourage you. You just haven't met them yet.
It is a cycle of abuse and you have started to believe the things that he says. You need to just walk out the door...Just get up right now and walk out the door. Go to a shelter or a friends house, tell them that you are being abused and you need somewhere to feel safe and heal. What are you doing still reading this? Get up and leave now.
Dont take it. leave while you are still able. Some women stay and end up dead. go girl.
Walk out. New story starts there.
A man like that is NO GOOD, get out of that rut you living in and take you children with you... meet new people go to church and mix with the congregation, Work at a creche, or school, and make new friends, confide in them and you will get help, even although you have 5 children, you can move on .... open a day care, you have the experience, you must be good with something, open a tuck shop from your house, sell home made cakes, what are your strengths? Dont allow a low life pull you down ... stupid people cannot look after 5 children in fact you a strong women, with feelings and today ; make a change for the better! Remember a women is like a tea bag, you only see her strengh when placed in hot water... you in hot water ... show them all ... you CAN do it!
YOU are the stupid one for NOT leaving HIM!
Do NOT WALK.....RUN!!
Please listen to BrainyBlonde. It is hard, but you can do it. There is help.
As usual some people blame the victim. He has sucked the confidence out of you. Maybe you never had any and that's why he chose you. That;s what abusers do. They find someone they can abuse. You can leave only if you really want to. But you CAN get out. Maybe you think the world you live in is the only world there is. You don't deserve to be treated this way. Get some help.
Get out of this relationship now... NOW... not tomorrow, not tonight, NOW. Get help in getting out if you need to, but GET OUT OF IT! He will ONLY GET WORSE!
Most likely you have low self esteem. leaving someone is not easy even when they are like that. I left my life after 16 years. I suffered from major depression and she never accepted it. It took a good friend to help me build up my confidence to leave.
u love it..........its yr identity....... u cant love without it.......
you feel the desire to punish yourself.
If you've only been bf/gf for 15 years then something is VERY wrong.
I also find this situation that you got your own self into very hilarious.