Maybe you don't feel good in your relationship anymore. Not something wrong with you personally. Ppl change in a marriage, and then after years go by it's like you don't know your partner anymore, not how he/she used to be. Lots of couples go through that, it's up to you two to do something about it together, or decide it's better to break up, that's entirely up to you both!

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Pls let me know when you have posted details. I can't relax around my partner either and I am very interested in your story/question.

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Details here...

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Who (if anyone) from your past does he remind you of?

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He was absolutely perfect at the start of our relationship. We have been together a year and a half. About 5 years ago i was with a guy who cheated on me so much it got to double figures. Don't ask why i did not leave i was young and stupid and he was my first real relationship. Anyway. He was also abusive on regular occasions and took drugs and finally after 3 years i managed to leave. I got with my current partner and felt like id never felt before. But at the start of our relationship he kissed someone else. I have never forgotten about that but do not use it against him. And on new year we got into an argument about something very personal to me and he said something very nasty and i know i shouldn't have but i slapped him. And he choked me until i couldn't breathe and threw me on the road. I still have cuts and bruises everywhere. He was sorry on the night but since then he has not acted remorseful. The morning after he did it i was slightly moody as expected and he even had the cheek to ask me what my problem was. And since then he has reminded me of my ex. Putting the cheating and violence together. Although this is the first time he has ever done this and i know he is not like this and it was a case of too much alcohol on new year...for both of us. But ive been acting this way for a long time. Not just recently. As i said to someone else it feels like i have a wall up or something and this is just now a trait of mine on how to behave. Obviously I'm not like this around him all of the time. But most of the time i am. Another comment said i don't want to be in the relationship and should leave... But i DO want to be otherwise i would just leave. Not wonder what i could do to change things like i am now, and i cannot simply change my behaviour it is not as simple. I have tried that. Why can you not relax around your partner?

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I understand that when one can't relax around another person, a decision to relax doesn't work. Something else is going on and needs to be addressed. I'll respond to your question about why I can't relax around my partner in a message.

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Okay.

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you dint leave any details

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They are there now.

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