I think U are ok now...?
Here I have pasted a link of man who has given altogether different philosophy of life. At start it took time for me to understand him. I was blaming life for all happened with me. Now after listening him for long time( 3 years) I feel like bad things happen to give us different sight of life. It is not like that i don't feel bad now for what happened, many times I feel bad but many times i feel good too. And whenever i live in his philosophy I feel gr8. I my aim is to be in it 24 hours. I request you to give it try. Do it slowly keep patients and you surely will like it, tell me after giving try or ask any doubt if you feel to ask. I am not advertising here anything; this man died in 1990 I born same year. All the people now operating his commune are just doing businesses, it is useless. But we are lucky having first hand experience having his audio discourses available in his own words. Many people have denied him and think his philosophy is nothing but these are the people who never faced darkness of life. Forget them and give it try and make own opinion. Love you.
Time can only heal, when you allows it. I lost my dad when I needed him the most! But now I am okay! Cuddling such memories will hurt you sometime.
It damages your soul to be rendered helpless and humiliated--Little things can trigger memories--That is why it is so terrible--it isnt just a f--- It is powerlessness and I think apart of you is frightened and trust destroyed forever. My rapist killed a girl 2 days after raping me at knifepoint...When you hear about it--the rape and torture of other women you have some idea of what they went thru and it is a haunting of the worse kind
It was a traumatic event. It will take time and self healing before it gets better. You will never fully forget it. But you must decide to take control of it or let it control you. I promise you that it will get better. It takes many painful memories, tears, and fears before it will but I swear to you that it will. If you need to talk, more than open to do so. I know your pain and struggle. I wish you the best in the future. Take a hold of your future and make your life better.
Quote that helped me:
'These scars only show where I have been, they do not dictate where I am going'
You should seek some professional assistance with this. Your school counsellor or parents can help.