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i married as a virgin so never had any opertunity to exlore my sexuality, and all that i want is to be ******. but i dont want him to think im a ****. i have tried to tell him several times but he just gives me a descuting look and says im actin like a ****. how do i get him to understand that romantic crap just makes me angry all i want is sex, thats it, nothing else to it.
monkshart monkshart 18-21, T 13 Answers Nov 14, 2010

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You need to tell your husband that the two of you have to have a conversation that is very important to you. Then sit down at the kitchen table or in the living room, in a completely non-sexual situation, and tell him that the two of you must talk about Needs, Wants, and Fears. You need to communicate to your husband what you needs are. Needs are things that you MUST have to live a happy fulfilling life. These are things like "an honest loving husband," "a monogamous marriage," these are things that for you are non-negotiable and not likely to change over time.<br />
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Then you need to talk about each other's wants. Wants are things that can range from "almost-needs" that are very important to you, down to "nice-to-haves" that you would like to have, do, or try, but can live without. Wanting to "act dirty" with him, or to be "fukked hard" fall into the want category and only you can decide how important they are to you. He needs to understand how you feel and why, how important it is to you, and also what you are willing to do or to give up for it. Discussing wants are negotiations in which each of you is willing to compromise to get what you want. For example, maybe he wants to have sex three times a week and you only want it every other week. If he will go along with your wants to act dirty and be fukked hard, you will have sex with him more often that you now want and closer to what he wants.<br />
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If your husband is intractable and unwilling or unable to compromise to give you what you want, he needs to understand that that has consequences -- the usual consequence of this is that you become increasingly unhappy and frustrated until it interferes with your marriage. If he feels this way because of some strong religious belief, and he is just unable to do what you want or need, you may have to face the fact that you may have married the wrong person.<br />
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You can always try professional couples counseling. Try to pick a counselor, probably an older woman, who will not be judgmental of you and your feelings -- ask around, do some research; do not just pick someone out of the telephone directory.

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My feeling is that in marrage if you want to be ****** hard and you want to be dirty with your husband then he should be able to do that for you. It's all part of a healthy marrage. We all have sexual desires that we want fulfilled. My wife has a thing about **********. We have never had one but with a toy it's something we can imagine. I don't think any less of her for it. It's just a fantasy and I enjoy her imagination. We have been married 28 years. You need to talk with him about your needs. He needs to listen and you need to get this point across to him. It doesn't make you a s**t, it makes you a normal person who wants an erotic desire fulfilled. How do you tell him?? Timing is everything. If he says your acting like a **** then tell him your his **** and only his! A **** is someone who sleeps around. I don't believe that is your situation. Talk to him in a loving passionate way but get your point across. If you were my wife you would get what you want and I wouldn't think less of you.

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Wow. Your husband dont know how lucky he has it. My wife used to love nasty freaky sex before me and at beginning of our relationship. I so so miss that!!

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I am in the same boat. Mine won't ever change unfortunately. It's been 6 or 7 years ans still nothing like that has happened.<br />
I like it rough but we barely even have sex so at this pt. I would take anything. I only had 2 partners in my whole life and never got to explore much either.<br />
I have been fantasizing about having sex with his brother for a long time..

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I doubt that his brother would tell, so you might as well full fill your needs

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If your too shy to speak to him in person about it ...why don't you write him a loving sexy letter...letting him know all the good things he does to make you feel like a woman then ad what you'd like to incorporate into your sex life together. I kinda feel bad for you because he is your husband and your not comfortable talking to him about THIS. Good for you for seeking advice about it though. Best of luck.

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tell him things you want in the heat of the moment... if you dont tell him he will never know what may make you marrage complete... most guys want there wife to be more open..

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It is entirely possible and normal to be married and want to make love and get f***** as well. I would suggest that you talk to him because you can have both.<br />
It ok to want to be treated like a "****" and is healthy fantasy of many women. It doesn't mean that you are a **** but you are merely exploring a fantasy side of you within the confines of your marriage. Many men love to have their woman whisper during sex that they want to be f***** harder.<br />
Talk to him and explain that you want to explore different things with him but that doesn't mean anything negatively for him, just that you enjoy sex with him and want to explore different aspects with him.<br />
Good luck.x

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Let it be known tell him how you want it. Usually most husbands will oblige. Talk with him about sex and let him understand what you want. He may not get kinky but he may surprise you.

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You tell him, or scream it during... and most guys love that. That should make him do it ;)

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