He sounds a bit controlling. Like he can't let you go, but he wants you to be different somehow. Tries to break you, and then worries that he has actually done it and lost you through it. I knew a guy a bit like that. He would attack.....wait til he got a rise out of me. Then apologize. Then compliment me and build me up...then turn again. But ultimately, it led to him just going off one day. In which he attacked things I couldn't even imagine- down to the way I walked to the kind of luggage I had. REALLY REALLY weird!
And you're right...it is silly. It's like riding a roller coaster, dealing with that kind of relationship. But not in a fun way. Just the kind that makes you dizzy and nauseous and wanting to get off!!
I am fairly convinced he was a narcissist. While I was still involved with him and in "Wonderland", I ran across some information and then read quite a few books about that type. Fascinating people, but well left alone! I haven't had any contact with him since 2010. It is amazing the sort of hold they can get on you....they are masters at it. But I'm done there. :)