Why did seeing that upset me so much when it wasn't even my family?

A couple of days ago I watched my best friend's mother be handcuffed and taken to prison for the most likely the rest of her life. I was merely there for moral support and never imagined any emotional consequences on a personal level, only those for my friend as I could never imagine what she was going through. My mother and I were inseparable. She was my best friend for my entire life. She passed away unexpectedly a couple of years ago and I am honestly still not recovered from losing her. But WHY this instance to set me off? I have spent the last two days just sleeping the entire horrible event off because I don't think it is right for me to burden my friend with my issues when she is morning her own losses. Right now it isn't about me, I need to be there for her. I must sound like such a selfish jerk right now...

Posted 1 month ago

Share |

Flag

sumanitutanka

Best Answer

I think it affected you because of your close relationship with your Mom. It's not selfish at all. You're still mourning the loss of your Mom/Bestfriend.

Posted 1 month ago

Other 5 Answers to Why did seeing that upset me so much when it wasn't even my family?

Koiponder	Posted Sep 28th, 2009 at 1:09AM Loss is loss. Both death and prisons rob children of the parents they love. You are upset because you know that your friend is feeling what you have felt. Thank you for being so compassionate. All the best to both you and your friend. Rated: +4Vote for this!
koyptakh	Posted Sep 28th, 2009 at 1:09AM Hi BountifullyBewildered you know why. You explain it perfectly. memories cluster and one triggers another - one mom all Moms. You are human is all. Maybe Post traumatic Stress maybe too? :) Rated: +3Vote for this!
RandomBloke1973	Posted Sep 28th, 2009 at 1:09AM Empathy is a *****. Understanding how something must feel sometimes entails actually feeling it too. You need to distance yourself mentally and emotionally. Rated: +3Vote for this!
StarliteRose	Posted Sep 28th, 2009 at 1:09AM You're feeling empathy and compassion--two perfectly human emotions that are excellent qualities in a best friend. Believe it or not, as bad as you may feel right now, you are exactly what your friend needs--someone who understands the pain of losing their mother. I am so sorry for your loss, and for your best friend's loss. Go, be with your friend, I'm sure she won't mind mourning together. Best wishes honey. Rated: +3Vote for this!
DreamWizard	Posted Sep 28th, 2009 at 1:09AM No, your not selfish. The arrest has brought up your own past, in that you recognize the arrest as a loss. Your mind recognizes the tremendous loss of someones freedom, the tragic separation of a mother and daughter. Immediately, it brings you back to your loss. This is a normal psychological response from someone who has lost a mother and is witnessing a friend going thru a similar event. My prayers are with all of you. Rated: +2Vote for this!

1-5 of 5 Answers

Open Questions in Family and Friends

More Open Questions in Family and Friends

Resolved Questions in Family and Friends

More Resolved Questions in Family and Friends

Questions and Answers powered by Ask Experience Project. Get answers to questions from the world's largest collection of life experiences, and the people who have had them. A huge, friendly, and fast wiki of answered questions! This page is for providing answers to the question, Why Did Seeing That Upset Me So Much When It Wasn't Even My Family?

Answers to questions like Why did seeing that upset me so much when it wasn't even my family? are provided for entertainment purposes only. You should never use answers to questions provided here to replace professional advice, such as from a doctor or lawyer.

Anonymous & Free

to join millions in the world's largest community of life experiences

Explore first-person stories about any experience, including your own! Connect anonymously with people who understand.

↓ ADVERTISEMENT ↓

Welcome to Ask Experience

Got Questions? We've Got Answers!
Ask Your Questions to members
who have been there and done that!
Share Your Knowledge
Learn Something New

Go Ask Experience Now!

More Personal Stories

Be YOURSELF

Be a part of the biggest social experience on the web. Where who you are is more important than who you know. Share what matters the most and find others who just "get it."

Join now and get started in seconds, or learn more about Experience Project

↓ ADVERTISEMENT ↓

EP Pets

Visit EP's
Virtual Pet Shelter