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this has happend to me in more than one occasion. i come accross a bully sometimes a family member sometimes a coworker. i ignore it and let it slide. but eventually ehen i've had enough i put them in their place and they end up acting as if they are the victims and try to make me ffel guilty. i don't understand why?
veronica4ever veronica4ever 26-30, F 17 Answers Dec 3, 2011

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If someone can't overpower or control you by manipulating your emotions in one way, he will often try another. Whether his means is through fear or guilt....it's just another method of coercion. It's a bit like the difference between aggression that is passive or active. <br />
Narcissists are really really good at this sort of thing...."How DARE you be hurt or ob<x>ject to what I did! You are so emotional and weak! Don't you know that I'm this way because I am damaged and troubled? Don't you know that most of what you think I did was all in your mind and that you are blowing it out of proportion? Why must I have to change because you are so intolerant and hypersensitive?? Why are you so intolerant and unaccepting of my behavior? How dare you say that you hurt when I do something to you and try to make me feel "guilty" by calling me an abusive bully? How dare you bleed on my floor? Obviously YOU are the problem...."<br />
Tricky, aren't they?

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Wow this is SO true!! Especially in the case of bullies who think they can use mental illness as some kind of free pass card on bullying. I have had this happen to me with a bully, finally had enough of their BS and fought back, have been getting attacked for it since. They of course completely ignore everything they did to be to bring on my defense, or else I'm supposed to be okay with everything they did to that point and afterward because they're medicated and/or ill. NOT OKAY. NEVER WILL BE.

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You are SO right Vessa!

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Thanks. I always find it interesting the way bullies will often manage to manipulate other people too...their "flunkies" or "fans" as well as their "victims". Sometimes they have a whole network of people that they utilize one way or another, and they coerce them all with individualized treatment. It is kinda creepy!

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wow, thats so true. they are simply taking another route to get the same results. control over others. smh

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i especially loved that line of "how dare you bleed on my floor" because it really gives insight to theirs selfish views on life and lack of empathy for others.

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Yes...he always sees himself as the injured party...even if he's the one who just caused the bleeding. Same kind of thing with emotional hurt..."how dare you cry?" I experienced that kind of person...it was like being in the Twilight Zone.

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I think the bullies rationale for that would be that you are no longer intimidated by their threats or actions, and have taken a stance of self defense.....that's exactly what they fear, that their prey has found the inner strength and courage...to stand up for themselves....because let's face it...bullies are cowards at heart......:)

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Thats what happens when you stand up to a bully...they back down, cowards that they are.

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Because you altering their perception of who they are, and what their relative relationship to you is. Now they have to re-think it. You were SUPPOSED to let them continue bullying you. "Why are you messing with the universe?", you know?

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cuz they cant face the fact that they lost<br />
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fckin *******<br />
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cyberbulling is bullshit too<br />
<br />
all bullies are<br />
<br />
fuckem all

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They do it so u won't do it again next Time they come crawling they're just acting I say give them it back teo time worse they did to u!

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I think emotional manipulators are harder to deal with as its like you are fighting wth invisible forces or trying to prove the invisible....I have known many passive /aggressive manipulators who are very good at extorting my energy and rescorces by being indirect and steering me in a position of helping them in some way by playing on my good nature or generosity.<br />
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I am learning to withhold giving now and have seen the tricks these people use in order to get their own needs met but appear to be all sweetness and light on the surface.... <br />
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Often these people if challenged will say "how could you think that of me" as they want to be seen as perfect but now I have a good response which is .."i dont think it...i know it"..covert manipluation is usually felt first and the person on the receiving end has difficulty articulating what has been done but feels somehow steered,set up ,extorted from or taken from, stolen from or manouvered into position without them having a choice.<br />
Often brings out aggression in the person it is done to ...but then here comes the sleight of hand..... all the focus is twisted on the victims reaction which is usually anger and not the perpetrator who caused it.....

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Thats what bullies do. Defending themselves by belittling their victims and I also think they wanted to know how far they can go too. <br />
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As you know Bullies are actually cowards themselves. I've been bullied myself a few times. I can't fight physically so I always use my words as a weapon. They are very sharp and nobody like it when I stand up for myself and I don't use swearing because they are weak.

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Why, because they are really PUNCKS. You frightened them now they don't know what to do. Stay Strong!

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Great question! KEEP STANDING UP AND FIGHTING BACK! Good for you!

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I don't know why people bully. My guess is they have some problems of their own that they take out on others. I don't think you should feel too badly about standing up for yourself. Just be aware of becoming a bully yourself. Freire said, “…the oppressed must not in seeking to regain their humanity (which is a way to create it), become in turn oppressors of the oppressors, but rather restorers of the humanity of both.”

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thnx for the advice i'll definitely keep alert of my own action and becareful not to make the same mistakes.

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That can't accept defeat so they keep the misery bs going on

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Shock and fear. They're not the biggest person now.

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