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MrsFaithful MrsFaithful 36-40, F 24 Answers Jul 13, 2011

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Cause he doesn't want anyone else to have you ? Why wait for him to set you free , free yourself if that's what you want .

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Only you can set you free. Most of the time, cheaters keep their main squeeze around because it's convenient. It is always easier to keep or reclaim an old victim than to go out, find, lure, seduce and train a new one.

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SO TRUE!!!!

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because you let them

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It is a manipulation tactic. In my case I believe it's because he enjoys hurting me. Unfortunately I'm not in a financial place to be able to leave. To claim that I am insecure is ludicris as he must be if he needs the attention from other women all the time. As soon as my situation improves I will be leaving him.

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Apparently he just wants to "dip his wick" in another person. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just that someone else stroked his ego enough and made themselves sexually available, and he couldn't resist. Its basically put up with his cheatin' ways or dump him so you can find the true happiness you so richly deserve.

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It could be one of two reasons; either he thing still loves you and wants to work it out, or he's just being self fish and doesn't want any one else to have you. Just ask him :-)

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Good points! Thanks!

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your very welcome!!

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He wants you but there is obviously something that he is not getting from the relationship. Love and sex are not correlated. Although i've found that when i love someone the sex is amazing, I've had loveless sex many times too. You got to have an open discussion without anger or bias to figure out what is missing. If the missing link can never be found then you need to move on. If you can repair the missing link and you truly do love him...more importantly you believe he loves you....then fix the problem. Get couple's therapy, go on a trip, watch **** together....anything to fix what can be fixed

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I think KalaniPaz has given the most rational answer. I'm going through something similar. I just learned he may have been "seeing" someone else. I say "may" because this other woman posted an article on her blog about breaking up with this guy she'd been seeing "on and off" for 14 months. It was my boyfriend. We've been together for 18 months. He's always referred to this woman as a friend and they spend a lot of time together. But he's never hidden her texts on his cell phone or computer. It COULD be he was cheating, OR she is nuts. OR maybe a little of both. I guess, I need to talk to him because right now I feel betrayed, unloved, disrespected, and incredibly hurt. But I also know I don't have all the facts...

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I just found my hubby cheated on me while i was in the mental institute over new Years. He acts as if nothing is wrong.

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He wants all the perks of married life, washing,cooking etc.

He can go and pretend he is mr wonderful, my wife doesnot understand me blah **** blah.

He uses you as his get out of jail card, when they want more from him, he can use the I can't leave my wife line, or she found out we have to finish it.

Finally, it's no fun to cheat, unless you have someone to cheat on.

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What my ex said.....



1st time I thought she liked me

2nd time She was just a friend and she used me

3rd time i just wanted to sleep with someone thin but i didn't do anything (turns out he did)

4th time he was mad and me and he felt he would be happier with her then me (turns out he was wrong)

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Given that he did marry you, it is likely that he does love you.



Why is he cheating? I think the best thing to do it ask (perhaps with help from counselor). Often men cheat when a critical need is not being met. Are you keeping his sexually satisfied? Do you nag and belittle him? Maybe you can find out, learn, meet his needs, share your needs with him, and you can both grow to the next level.



Or maybe he is just an a**hole you knew you should not have married in the first place, who knows?

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Because he is trying a "the more the merrier" situation. My advice is to never have sex with him ever again unless he stops cheating. He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too, and he is basically just a greedy immature person who can't commit to anything and wants every woman to stick around to be there to cater to his every whim. I personally would not do him any favors at all. Don't do anything thoughtful for him. Show him that he will never get love from 2 people, only 1. Then he will realize that the other woman is just the cheaper, lower quality version of a wife and he gets a lot less from her than he ever got from you. And since he cheated, now he can see what he took for granted and have everything taken away from him. The only one he is cheating is himself.

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Sex, romance and flirting are only a small fraction of a person's needs for a relationship. You probably still fill other needs or convenencies or both of his. Bummer.

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Exactly this. You need to stop filling ANY of his needs. He is using you, so don't let him use you anymore.

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maybe he is greedy and all. but maybe he is also other reasons for cheating, like s*x addiction and a whole lot more. talk to him and get some counselling, that is if you still want to make the marriage work

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Prefers the security of a marriage perhaps, but wants to live like a bachelor. If you're not happy I think you should leave. Why are you waiting for him to make a move? Be brave and decide what you really want, then follow through and do it.

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I agree. He wants the security of a marriage but to live like a bachelor...in other words, your little boy wants to live with his momma and live the life of a 16 year old!

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and are you uphlding his slackness, its stupid females like u that make excuses for pathetic men like these.......did u listen to your contribution lol......please.....he sure can do what he wants to do but i would not encourage msfaithful to accept his infidelity...its either he shapes up his behaviour or she back her bags and leave,,,,and i think i am the best answer on here. msfaithful dont make excuse for no man, dont be stupid

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your an idiot thats all i have to say. its you that want to stay stupid

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Do you think about what you are typing before you post it? Apparently not. You have nothing of importance to contribute to this discussion so please don't bother to answer any questions when you have nothing to say that matters.

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excuse me. in case you missed the entire question MSFAITHFUL asked me for my opinion i gave it to her. i think your the one thats rude, you should have left your comment and exsist. dont attack me for my response. i will for ever speak my mind . thank you very much. by the way who the hell r u summerwind18 to tell me abt my contributions.......go to sleep

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He does want you.... He just happens to want some random chick too. You have to leave if you want to...*recommended*

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Thing is, my husband is doing the same to me. When I gave birth to our first child 2 1/2yrs ago he started this affair. Now I'm 7 months pregnant again and guess what he's just got back with her. I know he blames me says how I always moan, he can't talk to me bc I don't know how to talk. Yes I react with anger bc he is hurting me so much. I don't know how else to deal with it. My parents say just work on it. How?? It's not going to get "fixed" no matter how hard I try bc it's not me he wants. I am so desperate to leave but 1) I pay the mortgage and few other bills 2) I work part time and now 3) I'm due to give birth in less than 2 months. I don't care about transferring everything into his name but wen we get to that discussion, as before he's not willing to sign paperwork. So what do I do? Anyone? I'm so desperate to get away my mind is totally effed up!!!!

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I think KalaniPaz (see post from Oct. 5, 2013) has given the most rational answer. I'm going through something similar. I just learned my boyfriend of 18 months may have been "seeing" someone else. I say "may" because this other woman posted an article on her blog about breaking up with this guy she'd been seeing discreetly "on and off" for 14 months. The guy she was referring to is my boyfriend. I was stunned. He's always referred to this woman as a friend and they did spend a LOT of time together. It COULD be he was cheating, OR she is nuts. OR maybe both. I guess, I need to talk to him because right now I feel betrayed, unloved, disrespected, and incredibly hurt. But I also know I don't have all the facts...

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Because cheaters want the safety of their cake and the fun of eating it too. They lie and deceive and I recommend you leave or kick out the cheaters and file for divorce. The confidence and power they get out of abusing you will be gone and extramarital sex won't be so good without being married! If a relationship doesn't work out often cheating happens, hurtful but common. So try and fix the problem if possible and wanted and grow stronger as a couple, or end it and grow stronger alone. Like in chemistry, nothing is lost, everything is transformed. Your loss is their gain. Take your powers back. Marriage ( or relationships) are sacred and based on trust. Humans don't do well with betrayal. Some have mental issues, alcohol and drug use. I met once a meth recovering who was married to a police officer( a great guy and a great girl, and respect and loving behavior were there, no more immoral accepted) that they perceive allow them to do whatever they want, and that is still wrong. One man, one women is the norm.

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