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EDIT: a year later, I realise how stupid this question is. I wrote it under the impression that guys all think the same, expecting some sort of universal answer. I'm now learning that men are all individuals, & can't be judged as all having the same thoughts & same motives for their actions - what a revelation!
blehtolife blehtolife 18-21, F 43 Answers Aug 14, 2011

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Men have no feelings - they are dead! Hence they treat women with contempt. If a womans gets pissed off and rasised her voice, "oh, she is a psycho". Ahole men blame women for eveything that goes wrong in their dead end no feeling lives. MEN ARE PURE EVIL.

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I've experienced this too...

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Um...no, I don't agree with this. You can't really lump people into one category based upon gender (or race, religion, social class ect).

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Let's face it....guys are all **** sucking, lying, cheating, dirty ****** ****** and they will never change. They can't handle strong women who will not put up with their **** so lets find someone who's weak to make them feel like their strong. They are also insecure that they go from one relationship to another within a few days. Treat the bastards like **** and they'll come running.

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I think a generalisation like that is really unfair - how many times have you heard that "women are crazy" or that "women are all gold digging ******"? The fact that there are a lot of **** people out there has nothing to do with their gender. I posted this question because a lot of the guys I have come across (& all of the ones I have unfortunately dated) are like this ^^ but putting people into boxes & labelling them is just silly.

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Guys are ******* dicks. U have to treat them like the mother ******* dogs that they are. Majority of them can't get the ***** up cuz of all the ******* alcohol and drugs they do. Their ******* worthless ********.

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...perhaps you should stop picking up guys at clubs or going out with alcoholics/drug addicts?
the amount of **** guys out there is proportional to the number of **** girls - most people suck, it's got nothing to do with their gender.

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Women have a 'sorting process' to separate beta males from alpha males. They will (usually unconcsiously) test a male to toward this end. It's called NATURE.



For example: in various ways, a woman will test a man to see if he's a pushover. It's an EVOLUTIONARY process, and it's nothing personal. It's just the tool that nature gave women to ensure that they don't wind up with weak males. A STRONG male with alpha traits will attract a woman more (both emotionally and sexually) because of this. Again, it's the way NATURE designed us in order to propagate the species.



When we were living in caves, the weak are the strong men were sorted through obvious processes. The strong man would protect the woman from mountain lions, go out and kill dinner, etc, etc. Modern life necessitates more subtle sorting methods. Hence, female 'head games.' Examples: a woman will be habitually 'late' to see if you'll wait for her. A woman will insist on an alternative to a decision you've made, just to see if you'll change your mind. (She won't do this concsiously. She might actually believe in her decision, but she'll be turned off if you give in to her.)



Again, it's not personal: it's NATURE. Nature designed men to go for physically attractive women because, from an evolutionary perspective, attractive women indicate 'FERTILITY.' Even if a man doesn't want children, his DNA is programmed on a psychological level to pursue that which represents healthy propagation of his b

breed.



In emotionally or mentally screwed up women, natures 'sorting system' has gone haywire. The process has been subverted (usually by childhood trauma or repeated bad experiences) and the 'filters' have been damaged. Such women become magnets for a***sholes, sociopaths, and jerks. They will screen for alphas, but will accept behavior that is WAY beyond reasonable - and in doing so they will fall for FAKE ALPHAS. After they get tossed around by FALE ALPHAS, they will go for betas, but since betas don't turn them on for long, they'll go back to the FAKE ALPHAS. After even a few years of this, a woman can be become damaged beyond the point of return.



I should also add that such women are often physically attractive, talented, and intelligent. But NATURE doesn't care about that. It will keep on throwing these women into the same scenario until they sort THEMSELVES out and stop repeating their mistakes.



It's a FASCINATING process, once you step back from it and view things objectively. And it was important for me as a man to learn these things, because it's helped me keep away from 'damaged goods' chicks and PSYCHO WOMEN who will ruin your life if you let them.

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...i dunno if that's 100% true, buddy. well - at least not in my case (even if it is unconscious).
i go for beta males - i'd prefer to date someone who is my equal & is also my friend (as well as my lover). i go for the louder guys quieter friend - a) because i figure he will be less of an a-hole (not always true) & b) because he'll be stoked i'm not going after his buddy.

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oh wow, what was i saying: omega. omega all the way. omega trumps alpha & beta fair & square.

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I'm pretty sure it is their fault. Men have brains too, right? Do they think with them sometimes? Cruel behavior is never justified.

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OK, nature vs. nurture debate... I disagree and say it's more social conditioning. Girls are taught very young that the little boy who hits them, pulls their hair, and calls them names is only doing so because he likes her. This imprints upon the young girl that the abusive little fella is merely showing her affection and suggests that his behavior is acceptable.

I say instead of continuing this cycle of madness, we should tell our daughters, "He's just being an ***." It may seem a bit troubling the first few times you're called to the principal's office because your daughter called some kid an ***, but it seems a far cry better than predestining her to a lifetime of failed relationships, chasing after emotionally unavailable men.

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very good

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Women are instinctively submissive and want men that are superior to them. Therefore they don't respect guys that treat them nice. A woman wants to serve a man that keeps her in her place (beneath him).

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...um correction: MANY women are like/want that.
i want a guy who's my best friend & also my lover - equal to me in every way. loving someone isn't really about "serving" anyone - you may do things for them because you love them, but not because it's a chore or it's demanded/expected of you.
i found my perfect guy - he's amazing :)
note: don't assume all women are like that...you may find yourself in a sticky situation!

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You're right - not all women. MANY women.

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Could not agree with you more - maybe I need to change or change the man as I will never ever change him! Thank you.

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p.s. i re-read this comment & i couldn't help but find myself feeling rather nauseous...
the fact that you think women enjoy getting treated badly is incredibly unhealthy...especially to the women who are unfortunate enough to cross paths with you.
i'm trying to imagine me or any of my friends going into a relationship KNOWING the guy would treat us like ****, & then WANTING him to...& then ONTOP of that wanting to spend her time "serving" this pig of a "man" (& i use that term loosely) i think for a woman to do that it would require some serious mental health issues.
why the hell would anyone even want to be around someone like that, much less be WITH them? if you're being serious about this (which i am kinda finding hard to believe), you're ideas are...idiotic. actually, they are just pure crazy.
& from what you've written here, i think it's clear that YOUR place is beneath a heck of a lot of men AND women - lower than low.

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you're entitled to your opinion. but the truth is that a lot of women get turned on by being put in their place and feeling like their man has the upper hand in the relationship. i've never been dumped and every girl i've been with would be serving me to this day if i hadn't moved on to another woman. in every relationship i call all the shots in and out of bed and i've never had any complaints. sometimes my power goes to my head a little and i'll disrespect my *****. but to her that's just more evidence that I'm the boss and that's a big turn on.

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...wow. That was nauseating to read.

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don't be so judgmental. different strokes for different folks. i like dominating women. some women like to be dominated. just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's "nauseating"

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as you stereotyped all women, you also stereotyped me personally (considering i am a woman). to say that my place is below half the population based upon what i have (or don't have) between my legs, is pretty offensive. if you like dominating a woman & a woman likes you dominating her, cool - power to the both of you. but to put me & every other woman in that category, telling me that that is what turns me on & that i'm inferior to all men because i am female, is nauseating.

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who said anything about you? sure, there are some women who prefer men who are more enlightened and treat them like equals. and there's lots of men out there like that to choose from. but many, many women prefer men who keep them in their place. why don't you do a survey of your female friends and see where they come out - would they rather a guy who treats them like an equal? or would they rather have a man who calls the shots?

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"A woman wants to serve a man that keeps her in her place (beneath him)" - i'm a woman.
my female friends who are in long term relationships ARE treated equally by their boyfriends - hence why they're with them. & on the occasions that they aren't, they get pretty darn ticked off. so...i dunno what kind of women you're hanging out with.

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I don't know what to tell you. I must attract the kind of woman that enjoys serving her man. I don't think that kind of woman is very rare either but maybe I'm biased because it's the only kind of woman I've been with.

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oh hell no. True strong-hearted women want men that treat them nice and give a **** about them not an ******* that just doesn't care about anyone but himself. Women actually do have a lot more power than what society has said. I DISAGREE with this statement and I have NO idea where you got this info from but you are REALLY wrong because you are an *******!!!!!

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The question that comes to my mind is why you stay around a guy that treats you like crap? As a guy, I walk away the minute I am treated with disrespect. You do not have to accept being treated like a doormat. That is always your choice. I would suggest that maybe you look at the kind of guys you find attractive. Maybe somewhere inside of you, that is what you think you deserve.

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yeah but i'm a girl, & i hate to say it & you probably won't agree with it, but from personal experience + the experience of my girlfriends + the stories my guy friends tell me about how they treat girls (& the way they talk about them), but more likely than not we are the ones that get hurt & treated like crap.
i've started staying around the guy i'm with now even though he treats me like crap not because i don't think i deserve better, but i'm pretty sure this is just a reality for me. i have accepted being treated like a doormat, only because i don't expect anything else, & because otherwise i'm left disappointed & even more hurt. i'm starting to think (& hope) that it's just australian guys, & i really hope i'm not wrong!

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There are lots of nice Australian guys. And you make the choice of whether or not you want to accept that behaviour from them. Why don't you take control of the situation and walk away? You don't need to be with someone, so why don't you just enjoy being single for awhile, and then wait for someone decent to come along? And it's your age too, babe. Stop going for young guys who think it's cool to treat women like that. Have some courage and walk the hell away from them.

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i do walk away, the problem is sometimes you don't know that they are ****** until you've fallen for them - you find out too late.
usually this is because they ACT like they like you, & say **** to you like "i can't believe i've got you" blah blah blah...you then open yourself up to them more, & let yourself start liking them.
i know better now - not to trust ANYTHING a guy says or does. but now i'm with my new boyfriend, i hate having to do that - continually pull back & away, & force myself to think in my head "he's talking out of his arse" whenever he says something remotely nice to me. it would be nice to be able to believe him...it sucks not being able to trust him.
i can't enjoy being single. this may sound really wrong but, what the heck i'll say it: as a girl, you can't have sex with anyone you're not in a relationship with, because:
a) you get called nasty things &
b) biologically a lot of us (although i hate to talk for all other girls) feel like crap when we just have sex with a guy if it's not someone we actually care about & trust. it's not as satisfying either....
i don't go for guys like that - i would only ever commit with a guy who was the complete opposite. why would anyone go for someone who they KNEW thought it was cool to treat women like that?

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I seriously have no idea. My boyfriend does this. I care so much about him and treat him so well, but he just pushes me away. He thought I was cheating on him and insisted I was 3 times. 2 of the times I actually knew the person and just had a normal friend conversation. The other one I didn't even know the guy and he just tagged me in a post of pheed saying all his "pheed crushes". He's such an *** but I can't say that to his face. I could NEVER! I hate when he says "I hate when you're sad" when he's the one making me sad in the first place. I don't have enough guts to break up with him because he's been in my life for a year in a half now... I can't lose him completely

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Because they're arrogant dicks. DUMP THAT ******* NOW.

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Guys of our generation don't know how to be gentlemen anymore. They're just stupid. Awesome for us huh?

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1 word: feminism. masculinity has just been so brutalized & demonized, it's lost all it's meaning...being "gentlemanly" isn't seen as "manly" anymore - belching, spitting, degrading women & emotionally abusing your girlfriend/wife, however (& other equally neanderthal-like behaviour) is.

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If someone gave me a hundred dollars just because they wanted to, I may go out and blow it on whatever I feel like. But if I had to work hard for that hundred dollars I am sure that I would not spend it on just anything. I would respect how hard it was to attain it and value it much more. I think people feel the same way about relationships. Make them earn your affection and loyalty . If you don't, you probably will be treated as a doormat. You sound like a caring person, don't accept being treated that way by these users! Good Luck to you.

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oh wow this is so true...i never thought of it that way. thankyou so much - you really put it into perspective for me!
i'll stop being such a doormat & treat them how they treat me. if they treat me well, i treat them well. that makes so much sense i feel so dumb for not thinking of it before. thankyou so much for your response!

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Because guys pretend to be macho and hard (They are really as vulnerable as us but cannot face it) so in order to keep that hard macho image they hurt things that remind them of their inner softness and heart...so they hurt us and think we are "weak" (the part they disown in themselves) it's the opposite however, real strength lies in the core of being vulnerable and real men know it...silly boys have no clue, but please don't get hard like them, celebrate your femaleness..it's about to become centre stage of this world

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this is exactly why i don't go for alpha males, but it turns out they're all really the same. it's so duuumb - i don't want a guy who cries & whinges all the time, but i definitely don't want a guy who thinks he's got to prove how "manly" he is all the time - to me he just looks like an idiot. & treating me like **** so he can feel more macho (aka better about himself - which is why bullies bully people) is just so sad.
i wouldn't say i'm hard, but i'm not a very emotional person. & if i am i'm not in public or with the guy i'm dating/like, i don't like people seeing that side of me. unless it's one of my best mates.

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well said...I agree with you....men and women have issues at this time and we need to just stay with and express it

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just re-read your comment...& i only just realised how true it is! i think it is mostly because of feminism (& i don't mean the movement for gender equality - i mean the male bashing movement) - it made masculinity out to be something evil in men, & it lost all it's meaning (to both men & women). now a lot of men think it's "manly" to sleep around with & degrade women, & bully & "dominate" them in relationships - basically, they just try to attack & put-down the feminine, in an attempt to appear more masculine. & (unfortunately) they get praised for it by their buddies...
society is just really ******. women aren't much better!

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I wish i knoe but it goes for both genders , sadly ive been the one caught in these crossfires unintentionally

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yeah, i personally don't really see it going both ways...like i'm sure it does, but i've never experienced it.
my girlfriends & i are always the ones who seem to get screwed over, while my guys friends (although i love them as my mates) seem to be the ones that treat (& talk) about girls badly.
when i get in a relationship with someone i like, all i can think about is how much i want that person to be happy with me, because i care about them & want them around. i just can't understand why guys never seem to feel the same...well, at least all the ones i've dated/know.

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They are egotistical sexiest pigs

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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahahahahahahah...... What am i doing here? This sure aint the right place for a guy. Lol

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Only someone who is bound to be permanently stupid and detached from reality if they continue on their present path in life would write this question.



Why did he treat you like crap? Well, you might have deserved it on some level. And of course it might have been a lot of other things. Also, even people who act like saints are misused. Being alive in this world will guarantee you that you will experience some level of pain. And for some existence is a degree of pain that you cannot even imagine in your worst nightmares. Thank of people who live their entire lives in war zones in third world nations until they are suddenly killed.



Honestly, life is too complex for someone with your mentality to fare well. If you blindly simplify things down to a level in which you refuse to take any constructive lessons from difficult experiences you are then essentially screwed until you change and become a willing and active learner. I suggest you take off the tiara, stop spinning fairy tales in your head, and knuckle down into reality.



No more delusions and escapism. But, don't expect your capacity to fully accept and embrace reality to come all at once. It will be a process of building tolerance and patience for the unpleasantness of life that you will have to work through.



Life is supposed to be a constant process of learning and applying your learned lessons (maturation) to the next opportunity. But, if you refuse to take part in the process and stubbornly cling to your identity like it is the only truth you trust or can know you will be stuck perpetually failing in the same ways you have before.



You are no longer a teenage girl and need to accept that no man is going to complete you or save you or provide something that is logically implausible. He could be your companion, but never your personal Jesus.

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...are you high?

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Because in the end women are more attracted to man who treats them this way. She wont be as interested in him if he will be a caring gentle soul. She thinks she wants that but look around you almost all of the miserably single man are caring gentle souls.



For god sake the group called "I am the other woman" has 3377 members. These woman know the guy they are ****ing is married and they still do it. They know this guy is an a**hole and no good for what he is doing to the first women in his life. Look how many of them out there doing this instead of finding and making one of the so many nice and single guys happy.

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i would find it hilarious how guys use the excuse of women not wanting to be with them because they are "nice", if so many men didn't take the idea seriously, & worse, use it to promote the idea of treating women badly.
i also find it pretty unbelievable, considering men are largely considered to be the more "logical" ones. stop & think about this for a minute: why would anyone want to be around & associate themselves with someone who constantly treats them like garbage, let alone find it a trait that's appealing? the only reason i could think of would be serious mental health issues, & i'm pretty sure they aren't the norm.
i'm at a loss as to why you felt the need to include your statements about women who are the "other woman" in your comment, because i know you couldn't possibly believe that these "women" (& i use that term loosely - "*******" would be a more suitable term, "******" even more so) are representative of the average woman.

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I mentioned them because there are so many; too many to ignore. I hope that you are right about those ****** and all of the others I had the privilege of experiencing not being the norm. I truly do and it gives me hope to see a women as sunshine looking as you feeling this way. Because in the end if this gets aligned with the process of Natural Selection equals to human species breading more and more bad to the core, no good motherf***ers and the long term outcome does not look so good for human evolution. By the way nothing is being used and thus being justified for anything here. I just say it as I have seen it. Lets not forget it's not just women, men has a tendency to go for the ones that treat them bad too. I have seen it many times; hell I did it myself. This happens while another girl is sitting at home thinking I am so nice and caring for him why is he going after this b***h. Look, where I came from there is an urban saying. It translates like this “If you love you get f**ked; if you **** you get loved”.

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Guys get nervous around a girl that they care about. Girls detect it as insecurity and find them less attractive. Another thing, any honest person knows they are going to hurt the person they are in a relationship with at some point or another (unintentionally). A good guy does not want to hurt the person he cares most in the world about and will likely experience some insecurity there as well.

When a girl is attracted to a guy that comes around and they do not display insecurity, girls are even more attracted.

So there are two possible solutions to this problem that I observe: Good guys, recognize your insecurities and make peace with them. You can even share them with a great girl once you find her, but wait until you get to a deeper emotional level into the relationship (5 minutes in to the first date is probably not the best time). Girls, when you meet a guy that comes off as insecure, ask the question "why?" He may just be insecure because he likes you and completely secure the rest of the time. Girls are nice guys biggest weaknesses because we understand the importance of being a good husband/father and we want you to like us. Which makes us vulnerable to you, now you can either get curious and give us a chance or you can toss us out because you think you found a flaw.



Enjoyed reading all the honest/real posts this is my 2 cents.

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...i'm sorry, but i really don't understand this comment. are you talking about a girl that you actually truly care about, or a girl that you just met?
i care about my friends & (most) of my family - i feel so comfortable around them, i can just kick back & be myself. i don't get "nervous"...because i actually know them (inside-out & back-to-front), love them & trust them - i would take a bullet for a few of them even.
"Girls, when you meet a guy that comes off as insecure, ask the question 'why?' He may just be insecure because he likes you and completely secure the rest of the time." - if you truly (& by that i mean, selflessly) care about someone...you generally have to really know them. if you've actually put in the effort to get to know a person (i.e. given them a "chance"), & they're still always "nervous" around you...how would that make you feel? personally, it wouldn't make me feel all too comfortable - someone constantly on-edge typically isn't someone i would want to associate myself with for extended periods of time...not because i think they're a bad person, but because it would feel awkward.
but start talking about how you know the importance of being "a good husband/father" to a girl you like/only just started dating &...well, this may explain why you don't get "chances".
pretty much everyone (at some stage) hurts the people they care & love most - that's human relationships in general. i personally don't know anyone who begins a new friendship/falls for someone thinking "yeeeah, i'm prolly gonna hurt them at some point..." of course, most people don't want to do (or think about doing) something to hurt the people they love...but this being "nervous" all the time business, just sounds like "walking on egg shells" or something...if you can't be honest & open with the person you're in a committed relationship with, & constantly feel "insecure" around them...why are you with them?
"When a girl is attracted to a guy that comes around and they do not display insecurity, girls are even more attracted." - human nature baby. goes both ways, & it's true for the majority of guys AND girls: guys love confident girls, girls love confident guys. there are some exceptions, of course (like with anything) but for the most part, this is the rule.
& (most) people don't "toss" someone as a potential love partner because they are "nervous"/"insecure" (or "understand the importance of being a good husband/father") - typically, they don't find them attractive in the first place. they can't "toss" them, because (chances are), they have their sites on other guys they are actually attracted to. why would you go for someone you're not attracted to rather than someone you are?
hate to break it to you but...the whole "nice"/"good" guy idea is a myth. if you aren't getting girls, it's not because you are too "nice" or "good" - that's just retarded.

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The girls have know one too blame but themselfes nice guys want to give him a chance but they decide to go for the bad guy then they complain and whine about them being treated like crap what a nice guy couldn't really really good girls that like bad guys have very very low selfesteem if they want to be treated good but then they go for the bad guys get free my crap it's a vicious circle they put himself in I know because I was with a girl for almost a year treat her really good like a princess

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unfortunately the guys who claim to be "nice guys" are either guys that can't get girls, pushovers or guys with no social skills. but basically, the whole "girls like bad boys" cliche is a myth.
if a guy is "nice" AND confident, he'll get any girl he wants.
girls typically end up with "bad guys" for 1 of 3 reasons:
1. he pretended he was a good guy until she fell for him. she then desperately (& stupidly, i may add) mourns the guy she thought he was & stays with him in the (mostly) vein hope that he'll come back. note: this is usually the case.
2. she believes she doesn't deserve to get treated any better - probably the result of dating one too many of the above type.
3. she's an idiot.
if it's number 3 you're attracted to, then it's your fault buddy!

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FLASH: you're probably not so great.

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...irrelevant?

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I've often wondered about this, as for me it seems the other way around? I've seen MANY really nice girls throw themselves at the feet of the a-holes who are loud-mouthed and obnoxious and treat them like crap. I've seen them stick with these a-holes through prison terms, drug-habits, wife-beating, etc.



Like a previous poster said, it is all down to nature and not more than a bit of nurture. A girl who was raised strictly or never really felt loved or cherished (especially by her dad) might later do ANYTHING and put up with ANYTHING to get that approbation and attention, including staying in an abusive relationship.



Some men will then "detect" this and abuse such a woman without the slightest remorse, especially if they themselves have "woman issues" due to their mothers, in turn, maybe mistreating them. Often as well, such men may "act out" (with loud, obnoxious or even criminal behaviour) and they then tend to draw the attention of women. They also often have an air of "danger" about them that innocent or sheltered women may find immensely attractive.

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for me, i put up with a lot of **** from the guys i've dated because that's how i've always been treated - i don't expect any different.
that & when i first met them they seemed amazing. then they let me fall for them, let my guard down & *BAM*! they start showing who they really are. & at that point you don't want to let go - you miss the other guy who they were pretending to be, so you wait around for him to come back. you almost mourn him - it's kinda creepy.
an "innocent, sheltered woman" would find the "danger" attractive only if she's lacking in intelligence (hence why these guys date barbie dolls - lol)

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I completely agree with this. Recently I've been seeing a very good friend of mine and I thought I knew him enough and understood him not to be that guy, to be any different after we became more then just friends. But nope, he changed like most people out there.. back tracked and turned into someone I never dreamt he could be. I have enough sense to walk away from it, but it's highly disappointing the way males behave and I feel lure women to suit their purpose, then discard or mistreat them so easily.

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OMG....this just brought back a FLOOD of memories...sigh. Had this convo' with an Ex-best friend. Her relationship at the time ended thankfully, but just walked-away from it!!! so much for getting any Closure and yelling her head off at the, so-called bf, Idiot of a person whom she tried SO HARD at trying to make the relationship work but dragged on and clung to it and stayed faithful for a Third of her life ~_~



Once heard people disapprove of a person being gay....also once heard that there are more guys then Girls on Earth...and given that most guys not deserve to be in a relationship until they grow up (if ever)....if a Girl wants to be Straight/Gay/Bi, abstain from everyone or live in a plural-marriage, then that's perfectly effing okay given the Circumstances. oi.



As far as answering question directly...only thing I can think of is the person hasn't lived, grown up or is just mental....since can't recognize what a good or bad thing Is and just treats everyone as if they were dolls...

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