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I have a tendency to reject care & affection, it makes me feel afraid, afraid of losing. "Life's not that easy" "My path is not for you to walk" "Stay away" "What do you know?" "Forget it"...These were my words to those who were trying to help me.
Reccur Reccur 18-21, M 8 Answers Mar 17, 2012

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low self esteem , still way better then thinking to highly about yourself,but still your somebody,like a rose in the middle of the desert ,people walk by and wonder how it exists, but yet it always will and quite beautiful too.

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I wish that was simply the case. I could give my life for people but I just couldn't let myself being rescued. Pain has become a comfort for me? Perhaps like a beast afraid of leaving the cage?

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explain this to them, maybe they will come back.

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Perhaps that's the only thing I don't want to, I can bear all the burden myself but couldn't afford a chance for them to get hurt.

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is there something you are doing that might hurt them?

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Perhaps I'm just afraid of their sympathy, because I never received one in my entire scapegoat life. Biting hard on pain has become a comfort too difficult me to leave, it makes me feel strong, that I can take it all down with me.

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maybe find some unsympathetic friends.

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You need to volunteer at a homeless shelter.

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story of my life.

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I don't know whether I'm glad or sorry to know that I'm not the only one, some of us can endure most pain in the world but can't afford to let anyone hurt for them....

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