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Yearsgoby Yearsgoby 18-21, M 8 Answers Aug 16, 2013 in Health

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Thats bullshit. You have people who care for you. And just because you think you dont have love or friends, doesnt mean you never will. Thinking you are a waste of space, only pushes people away. You think you dont have anything in life? Its YOUR life. Give yourself something to try for. The most important person in your life is you. Love yourself. Be friends with yourself. Thats who you should try for. You are not a waste of space. No one is. Take pride in yourself, who gives a **** what other people think?

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My family has long forgotten me, people hate me as soon as they see me, nobody cares for me. My rotted mind pushed everyone away. I can't love myself, what's to love? A 19 year old homeless runaway child abuse victim? Anyone with a right mind should despise me.

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I dont despise you. And if that makes me crazy, then put my *** in a loony bin, I dont give a ****. What has happened to you is sad, but it doesnt make you a bad person. You are simply living in the past. I know its hard, but you have to move forward. There are people who love and care about you; you just either havent noticed, or you havent met them yet. And if you continue to think about yourself that way, you never will. Stay strong.

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My past made me. It was chosen the moment I was diagnosed with Aspergers and my father told me I had no soul because of it. If someone cares about me, let them come and pick me up, stop me from sleeping outside the library tonight.

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your 'father' is a dumb ***, and has absolutely no right to be called a parent. Yes, your past made you who you are, but you can still change your oresent and future. Personally I think no one has a soul. We ARE souls; we HAVE a body. And just so you kno, I care.

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It's ok. I've accepted I'm a waste of life. I'll always be,I tried changing and it failed. You couldn't care about me, you don't know me. Fact is, I'm alone and tonight ill be sleeping in the gutters.

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How do you know, that I dont care? I have been sitting here, WAITING for your reply. As long as you think you are nothing, you will remain being nothing. I dont think you are nothing. ANd the only true failure is to stop trying. Just because you are alone doesnt mean you always will be.

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No use trying when guaranteed to fail. I've been alone my whole life, my knight in shining armor never came. I tried making friends and opening up to people, I got mocked for it. I'll always been an outcast.

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your young! you have your whole life ahead of you! I am an outcast too. I made friends with other outcasts. Anyone who mocks you, isnt worth your time. And I have been talking to you. If i didnt care, then i would have stopped talking to you. Not everyone is as bad as you think.

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Trust me, I've had people say they care in high school. When I was on the ground getting my *** kicked, they just looked at me. I could have used their help, I almost killed one of my bullies. I had him on the ground with a 12 inch hunting knife over his head. Where was my "friends" who cared at? What if I didn't have the will power to stop? I learned on the day never trust anyone for anything. Because they won't be there when you need them.

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Do you KNOW everyone? Do you KNOW what they are thinking? No, you dont. I honestly, really truly care. I know ALOT of people who would care. Just because the people you do know didnt care, doesnt mean that no one does. Not everyone likes fights, and it probablly scared them. I would have been scared, too. But i would have tried to stop you. I honestly would have. You need to find other people.

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Like I said, if people truly care, help me tonight. I don't want to sleep in a alley, at least they could bring me a pillow or blanket. The knife incident didn't happen until a week after the fight. I was having thoughts of vengeance I wanted him hurt. I got my chance, he was alone, I snuck up on him and slammed his head against the brick wall and tripped him. I had the chance. I could have done it. But I couldn't. So I just kicked him in the face and ran. People had a whole week to see if I was ok, to stop me. But they never did.

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If I could, I would actually let you stay at my house. I am dead serious. And do you know why you couldnt do it? Because you are too good of a person. Yeah, no one helped you then. LIke I have said many times, it doesnt mean that no one will! I would have. If you truly want help, you will find other people. Better people. People who do honestly care. They are out there. Trust me.

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I didn't do it because I am spineless coward, it'd least I'd be in jail with a roof over my head and healthcare. I've walked 489 miles, did anyone stop and give me a ride? No. They don't care. They've only had 19 years to help me, they used and abused me. If the world cared, somebody would have me by now.

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Cant you see that i am trying to help you now? It seems like you dont want help. But I keeping trying. No, I havent given you a ride or place to stay, But i am trying to talk sense into you. I am trying to make your life better, in any way that I can.

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From where im standing, its not sense, its an illusion. I've been hurt too many times in search for friends and love. They don't exist. When I was young and made mistakes, my father would beat me and make me go 12 hours without food(only counting hours I was awake). I wan help, but there's no help for people like me. The world told me to go to hell a long time ago. That's what I did. I tried to make friends, I really did. I had hopes but they were crushed.

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you can think its an illusion, but I am saying right here and now that it isnt. If my gma would let me, I would stay up all night and all day just to talk to you. I am sorry for what has happened to you. I truly am. I have had stuff happen in my life too, and no it wasnt as bad as yours, but I moved passed that ****. I keep trying, and because I do tht, I have friends. I have a home. I am not trying to be rude, i am just trying to tell you to not give up. It gets better. I understand That you have been hurt alot, and therefor it is hard for you to trust people, but i promise you that you can trust me. I will do what ever i possibly can to help. I am not saying that you havent tried, I am just saying that shouldnt stop trying. If you do, then all you will know is pain and abandonment. If you really tuly dont want that, and yea its going to be hard, then you will keep trying

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Pain is all I've known, it's what I live by now. I wish I could move past it but my life is over. I ruined it when I ran away. I understand you're not being rude. But there is no hope for me. I've lost everything I ever cared for. This is my life now. I never found love so I replaced it with hate. It's all I got left.

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Yand? The only reason there is no hope is because you say there isnt. It is your life. You are soo young, there is alot of years ahead of you. Your life is not over. It will be if choose to give up. And it seems that you already have. Thats why it seems like its over. But I kno that it isnt! You have nothing to care for? GET SOMETHING to care for. Get something/someone to love. HAve ruined nothing. You still have plenty of chances. But doing what you are doing now, IS ruining your life.

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How can I love when I've never felt it? I don't understand love and happiness. I can't apply for college and move up in this world because I am a runaway. I can't find peace because I don't deserve it. I'm pathetic. I'm nothing like how a teenage boy should be. Smoking repulses me, I find drinking dumb and I'm repulsed by the sight of a naked body. Isn't that all normal boys live for? I already ruined my life. I wish someone who saw dad beat me called cps or I was never conceived.

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Just because you have never felt love or happiness doesnt mean you cant do it. It doesnt mean you will never understand it. And in order to move up in the world, you just have to make small goals for yourself. Find a shelter and clean your self up. Then job. save a little money. find a place to live. See what I mean? You dont HAVE to go to college. And you do deserve peace. You deserve alot of things. What makes you think that you dont? Because your father said so? because no one will give it to you? Screw that,if you want it you have to get it yourself. And who cares if you dont like to smoke/drink? Not everyone does. I think it just makes you a better person, and more mature. Your life isnt ruined just cuz you missed some parts of growing up. It is not to late for you.

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I'm not capable of love. I won't move into a shelter, I'll make it on my own or die trying. I don't deserve peace because I am a monster that wrecked everyone's life he crossed, for that, I deserve what I get. I pay for being a burder and a waste of breath. My dad was always a *****. But it was when I saw I had no real emotion, that he snapped. Him and mom would have lived a happy life if it wasn't for me.

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You honestly think that people as ****** up as your parents would be happy? without you they would have had bad lives becuase they are sick people. You are not a waste of breath. And you have come into MY life, and you havent wrecked it at all. You arent a monster. All you deserve is love.

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If they would have messed up on their own. At least it wouldn't have been my fault. I deserve what I gave to the world. Bitterness and hatred. I once wanted to find love and experience a hug, a physical embrace that doesn't hurt or cause pain. The only embraces I got where punches or kicks. When I look at my disgusting body and see my scars, I know what I deserve.

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You have done nothing wrong. Nothing is your fault. It is theirs. Its their fault your here, right? They made you. You didnt give them hatred and bitterness, they already had it. They just used you to take it out on. It wasnt your fault. You have given nothing to this world but a good person. And you ARE a good person, you're just a good person who bad stuff has happened to. And you didnt deserve it at all. If you were standing in front of me, I would give you the biggest, longest hug I have ever given. Because THAT it what you deserve.

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Thank you.The library is going to close soon. I'm going to prepare to face my long night out. I appreciate you taking the time to deal with me. I really do. I hope to speak to you again sometime.

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I didn't "deal with you". I talked to you. I hope you will be ok during the night, and I will probably message you tomarrow. Answer back when ever you can.

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23 More Responses

Nobody has love since its not a physical entity, but a poetic way of saying that you are addicted to someone or something. The majority of people dont have friends, just people they know. You have internet access, and a device you are using to communicate. Im pretty sure if you have that, you have much more stuff. You are not a waste of space since your volume only makes up about virtually nothing of what the total area of space is in the universe.

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I use the library's computer, I have nothing left now. Just the clothes on my back and $17 to eat on. I can't find work. I can't go to college where I am a runaway.

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And the problem is? Just go to the military if you really are in rock bottom

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I don't want to go get yelled at then shot in some pointless war.

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If you see life as pointless then everything will be pointless. You are going through a phases right now, youll be fine

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It's been like this since I can remember. It's no phase.

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I went through the same but then i met a girl and that distracted me for a while enough to realize some things, and experience some things. Life IS pointless unless you grant an illusion for you to strive for and keep you happy. If you look at life for what it really is, then you will be miserable

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If that's true, I'd rather live in the truth and pain, then live a lie for "peace".

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Then do it and dont see it as a bad thing. Thats what im doing

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5 More Responses

me too and I am twice you age..sad

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to keep from being bored!

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You have to find positive in life, once you find one you will keep finding them, I been through all that.

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Yup, Same here.....just enjoy yourself! Screw everyone else!!!

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