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I know partners and kids are a part of life and I feel really bad and guilty and selfish about this, but sometimes when people talk about their kids and partners I just wish they'd shut up! Maybe it's just coz I'm 27 and single and think I have no purpose in life, but maybe there's something wrong with me
intelflirt intelflirt 26-30, F 21 Answers Jul 4, 2009

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No, dear. People who have kids are so taken with them, that they cannot imagine that the whole planet doesn't share their interest.

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Usually, when we are having a conversation with someone, it is a back and forth, giving and getting. And about a subject we both are interested in. If you don't have experiences to share with the person on the subject matter, the conversation becomes very one-sided, them doing all the talking, and you doing the listening. .



While most of us can tolerate someone who only talks about themselves for a short time, it doesn't take too long before we are looking for a way out.



So, it doesn't matter what the subject is, if you are in a conversation with someone who can only talk about themselves, you will (rightly) get annoyed with them.



Personal example: I had a bachelor friend who was very lonely, and about twice a year would come over to my house to visit. I could only tolerate the guy for about half an hour because all he could talk about was himself. BORING!



So you getting annoyed with your friends talking about their kids is completely normal...

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I think your annoyance is very understandable if people talk too long about partners and kids. You aren't sharing their lives to that extent so its one-sided. I have an acquaintance like this. There are many other topics to talk about.

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well, I agree with you, really.



It would be annoying to try to relate to people you have NOTHING in common with...if it's co-workers, sorry. Just nod your head and smile.



(A lot of times, most of us just don't have a clue, this is where tact is called for.)

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You answered your own question. Because you are 27 and single and feel you have no purpose in life. I doubt the last part is true, but if that's how YOU feel - then perhaps you are a bit envious of these other peoples lives.

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God, I hope not. The day people should start feeling envious of others because those others have kids... that's the day we need to start wondering if anyone really takes a good look at the world they live in anymore.

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I understand people talking about their kids, but I have several friends with kids and some talk about their kids often and some talk about them too much. I have lived with a friend who had a child in the past. I moved in when the child was 15 mth old and lived with them for a year. I was there through the terrible twos and at times it was very trying, but I never felt my friend was self absorbed about her kid. She was and is today very balanced and I think this has a lot to do with it. I have other friends, however, who are self-absorbed and think everything their child does and every detail of their child's life is breaking news. Just because you're a parent doesn't make it ok to be self-absorbed ...btw, the friend I lived with was a SAHM. There is such thing as enmeshment and it's not healthy. People who are enmeshed with their kids won't like this. You can have a healthy level of attachment with your child and talk a reasonable amount about your child without going overboard and there is such a thing as overboard.

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Somewhere during the past 15 or so years, it became very "special" to have kids, not just "the norm." People have been having kids for millenia but only recently has it become such a big deal to have reproduced. Everything is about kids today. All TV ads are about how to properly feed, clothe, overprotect, wash, disinfect, etc...your precious kids. We treat kids like little delicate porcelain dolls today. So people love to tell you how smart and special THEIR kid is. They live their lives through their kids and expect you to be equally as fascinated and obsessed with their children as they are. You are not "nothing" because you are single and have no kids. You actually have a life!

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I also agree with you, I have nothing against kids, maybe there is something wrong with the both of us ;) I highly highly doubt that though :D

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I am married and don't have kids and I don't think i want them either. being 29-basically all of my friends have kids and I have been feeling the same as you lately. i understand that being a mom (especially a stay at home mom) is their life but I am soooooo tired of hearing all about their kids. I mean is their nothing else to talk about once you have kids? do you lose your personality and personal interests? I wish i could meet some other people my age who don't have kids. blah.....

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Because you don't have anything in common with them. My wife was like you before but once we started having children it became our universe the same when we were childless in the beginning we had each other and that is the stem of all our conversation. Wait till you have a partner and then kids if you wish to have both. It's all about where you are in life and mainly your attitude. Best of Luck to you.

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It's an expression of frustration and resentment that at this point you don't have any yet that's why you can't relate to what other people are talking about. In the future, hopefully you will have your chance to talk about your own. :)

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Um, no.
Actually, believe it or not, there are a great many of us here in the world that honestly DON'T CARE what your kids did this week, or last week, or how cute they were when they did this or that, or how amazing you think your kids are (when there's a good chance they're not) or what summer camp they're going to or what the baby said the other day or blah blah blah. Yes, as shocking as that may be - some of us simply DON'T care, and we find you tedious, monotonous, grating and pedestrian in your constant fawning ramblings. You have no idea how little other people really care about what your kids did... and those of us who don't have kids don't have to buy into the "back and forth" stupidity of "If you listen to me rave about my kids, I'll listen to you rave about yours - even though neither of us really gives a rats ***." Yes, the fact is that the rest of us don't give a ****. And that's the truth.

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Because kids suck.

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Maybe because you haven´t experienced the joys of motherhood yet. Once you do, you won´t stop talking.



A lady once told me :



THERE IS ONLY ONE PERFECT CHILD IN THIS WORLD..... AND EVERY MOTHER´S GOT HIM/HER.



So true

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Exemplary of the state of willful self-deception that a parent (mothers in particular) will immerse themselves into upon having kids.
The funny thing is, parents KNOW it's nonsense, and yet they practically believe it anyway.
Funny stuff.

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Relax, you're normal. I personally get annoyed if anyone rides a certain subject on and on and on--no matter what the subject is. I think, "800 bajillion topics in the world, and there's just 1 that floats your dinghy?" Damn. ;-)

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