you must freaking hate yourself, that's why... try to like yourself a little bit more...
I am the same as you. I know that I get to emotionally attached to people, but I don't know how to stop it. I feel as if once I have a connection to someone, I want to talk to them all the time.
For instance, I just finished a course. One of my instructors was talking to me about the end of the course and things I did well and areas of improvement. She mentioned that I say sorry to much (which I know I do, because I say sorry for everything, even things I don't do) and that I shouldn't because it decreases self worth. She stepped away from instructor mode and was talking to me as an actual person, and could read me very well. It scared me that she saw through me, but at the same time, I was happy that someone was taking the time to see me.
Something as simple as a honest talk to someone has me very attached to that person. It's not as if I'm in love with her, but now I want to talk more to her. I know that if we do talk, though, I will talk about hard things, and I don't want to bother someone else with my problems. And it's not just her, but anyone I would have a similar conversation with, would cause me to feel this way. I'm so worried about bothering this new person with my issues, or crowding a new person with trying to talk to them all the time. I don't know how to stop it, and it causes me to feel depressed and anxious and lonely that I can't share my feelings with people, for fear of driving them away with my neediness.
I don't even know if I said all this correctly, but this is how I feel and it bothers me. I can't turn off my emotions or stop myself from becoming attached, but I want to learn how. I don't want to scare off people with how much I want to talk to them. I guess it's just nice to have someone tell me that it's okay and that I'm not a horrible person and that I'm actually worth something, even if I don't believe them. I don't cry in front of people, so when I do get emotional, it causes the attachment to happen faster. But I don't want to scare them off with how clingy or attached I get. How do I stop this?
I am trying ti figure this out too. In the last say year and a half I have had a few short term relationships with guys that were my friends first. It was always that there was a good friend connection but I would get so attached that I would want something more. But the problem is these men were not good for me as boyfriends - closed and cold with me. I think I see a challenge in that kind of man and can't help getting attached. I only hurt myself in the end because it doesnt work out and I end up losing a friend because of it. I just never seem 2b able to stop this trend.
Right?! Me too-i am sooooo clingy and needy. I need help too!
Relax. Its fine, that you are emotionally attached to people easily. That brings out that you have lower trusting problems and perhaps some really gem friends, in your real life.
If you need someone to talk to, I am here. We EPers are here. :)
Like yourself first and then do your own thing. Learn to find out who they are first and then attach yourself. At least you'll know what you're attaching yourself to, right?
I feel like this too, but the people i get most attached to are those who are similar to a mother figure but then i look at my mum and think she's never done anything wrong so why are all the people i get attached to similar to my mum. I don't act obsessed or anything but i would do anything literally if they asked me to. I will take anything to a whole nother level for some people I've only meet a couple of times. and i actually loose allot of sleep worrying about if i had said anything to them that would Annoy them. Sometimes even cry if i think i have. I feel really depressed like non stop when i think about em. What makes it worse if they are beautiful ! It is so much harder to try and avoid talking to them as much.
bros... u all tried meditation yet? :)
It's because you're human. There's nothing wrong with getting emotionally attached. Sure, sometimes it's hard when you have to let someone go, or when the relationship goes south. But the alternative is to be a robot, and that would suck.
I'm as down on drama queens as anyone I know. Crying about losing a friend is NOT a drama queen. Drama queens are the ones who are always offended, or always feeling like someone hurt them or mistreated them. The difference whether it is all about you (drama) or all about someone else (compassion). Don't let anyone look down on you for caring too much!
It's hard not to get emotionally attached
Insecurity and the need for validation.