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By no means am I a prude. But for some reason when I think of a woman of 18 to even 28 having had been with 20, 30 or more guys. I get a sick feeling in my stomach and a tightness in my chest. I dont know why. I mean there are things that go through my head such as "If she were to have sex with me would it mean anything and we could have a relationship?" or "What kind of impact could I possibly make compared to the large number of guys shes been with?" another would be "Im not packing the biggest thing known to man but not the smallest. Would it feel good for her or even feel good for me?". I look for something real with someone. I love sex but with one person long term. I am a relationship kind of guy. I believe in romance and love and being faithful emotionally and physically to one woman who would choose me. I have been used for one night stands and it makes me feel hollow inside to the point where I would cave in physically. I havent had many women in my life and I have had five relationships. My longest being with my Ex wife of a little over 8 years total together. I just dont know why I feel this way about promiscuity. I dont see whats so fun about going out and hooking up with people randomly. Wouldnt you rather be with one person for as long as possible? To add to it for elaboration purposes, to me sex is sacred between two people. Its not something to play with. Its the ultimate bond between two people becoming one person. One mind, one body, one soul, one heartbeat in sync with each other. The ultimate trust. I feel emotionally discomforted knowing that thinking that I probably am not worth anything more to the girl than just a quick fix. When I want more when I know the heart I have. I have run into a few women here on EP that would have only wanted me to use them and leave which is why Im bringing this up. I hope Im not alone.
EarthBear2784 EarthBear2784 26-30, M 7 Answers Jan 8, 2013 in Intimacy

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because you are a decent sort.

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You think too much.<br />
Whether its a night or life time just enjoy the moment.

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You just have a good moral standard that's all. You have a well-working conscience. You know the bible views it as something sacred to. Something that should only be between two people who are married and love eachother. So you're not the only one in the world with these views.

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Gen X got Aids which quenched all that free love hippy crap quick like<br />
Many still have hangups over it<br />
I don't do casual well as my heart gets involved so there's also that

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why the physical symptoms? people have been screwing whoever they want since they discovered how. others dont. end of story. focus on who is in your bed and ignore thinking about what others do. youll live longer without the tightness in your chest

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Depends on the nature of the problem. Do you disapprove of your own or someone else's ?

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Someone elses. I have not been with many women. Five relationships and was used by about ten women as a one night stand.

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I don't know, to some folks 15 partners at your age is a lot of women. If the woman who comes to you looking for a relationship is good to you, clean and disease-free, has no children and only wants to be with you, what business is it of yours who she was with before she met you ?

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I know 15 is a lot. Its also why I dont drink anymore. I was tricked a couple of times as well. And its none of my business of WHO she has been with. But it should be my business of how many. There should be no secrets between people that are together.

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What if she'd had the same number as you ? Or, what if she hadn't and thought 15 was too many ? What should a woman assume about a man who's had 15 partners before age 30 ?

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They wouldnt assume anything because I would tell them how it happened. That I was used a lot. and assure them that I am clean because I am. And that number I guess would be a little over what I would like from them but not by much.

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2 More Responses

Yours, or someone else's?

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