Why do men beat women? Control? Bossiness?

I have been in two extremely violent relationships and neither of them started out that way...
All I know is change will never really happen, promises will get broken and people will be damaged.
Coming back for more is the real issue and I just wish there was a way for women like me to feel like they could get out and be safe....you can be strong in every sense of the word but when the doors are closed and your heart is open you can be at your weakest.

To dominate the vulnerable...

they beat me because I could not show them that I truly loved them but I did so I thought
I would say control

Control, there is somethin lackin in them. But they take it out on their women. I know I spent 10 years with one. I really thought everythin was my fault. It wasn't, it was his, his own mentality. You are never good enough for them and nothin you do is right. It doesn't matter what it is. It's never their fault. If they make a mistake, it's your fault. So you pay. The hard way. You know men that beat women are not real men at all, they are cowards! They know they can't stand up to a real man, they will get their ***** beat! So they take it out on their women. It's a no win situation for any woman.

I have no idea either.. I was beat by my ex.. I watched my mom get beat growing up.. my sister in law's get beat.. my mother in law got beat.. a girlfriend of mine in high school got beat... the real question is

why do women allow it?

My guess is the same reason we stay when they do...Crazy

Fear and insecurity. He's terrified of "losing control" of his woman, because he feels that it will somehow harm him, or reflect badly upon him... At least that was my take on it at the time.

Having said that, I'm firmly of the belief that you can't reason a man out of it. You can't kiss his boo-boo or try to placate his fear in the hopes that it will make the beatings stop. It's something that he needs to decide to change within himself - and sticking around only facilitates the beatings, it doesn't ever prevent them.

Sorry for cosreal..but i dont think all men are mean like the men she met! i dont mind being bossed around by my girl..lol..though it violates gender equality..
Some men are bossy because they feel insecure,inferior or coward...might be bullied around at work by his boss..so he has to rule atleast at home! So they need a someone to show their superiority! Poor women are scapegoats to their wishes..
In some countries gender bias in inherent in the society..that might be one of the reasons!
Better soln is women illtreated must become strong physically too to hit him back..Never again he will touch u

Men abuse women for the same reason women abuse men. Stupidity. Immaturity. Lack of self control.

1 part Testosterone

2 parts misogyny

3 parts Lack of Self Control

The few times that I've been struck by a man (one in particular who wasn't in my life very long) it was because he didn't have the wits to fight back against my sharp tongue. He'd say "stop using all of these big words like you're better than me". His frustration would spill over and he'd lash out like a child.

That's the only experience I've had though. I would never remain in a situation with someone who was persistently abusive.

They were brought up totally spoilt and deep down believe that anything including violence is acceptable in order to get their way. They like to be the boss. They are very old-fashioned in their attitudes and habits. But they hide this well at first pretending to be all cool and laid-back until they trap you. They know they would never get you being the real them. If a woman disagrees with them they cannot get their spoiled and neanderthal heads around it. They lose their tempers and hit out.

they just cant control there temper, when things go wrong and they feel upset they hurt the ones that are the closes to them to make them feel the way they do.

The cultural emphasis on being the big, tough guy and man-in-control while feeling small and weak inside; hitting the woman can be a cruel and ignorant venting of this sense of insecurity and inferiority, while never being strong enough or able to admit this. The venting can also be pleasureable, creating a (temporary) sense of power and release of tension...So, it's self-perpetuating and addictive.

chrisdiaz1971, are you suggesting that women be taken to jail for destroying a man's self-esteem or hurts his feelings? I'd like to give men as well as women a little more credit than you are. In the end it's the individual's responsibility to work on their self-esteem regardless of how many times they have been knocked down. It's too easy to put the responsibility on someone else. Other people are not on this earth to make you fel good about yourself.

You actually seem to be a pretty low-level misogynyst. Women are manipulative? Can you really speak for all women when you say this? Do you not realize that all these inane stereotypes are no different than a person saying that blacks are lazy and that Jews are money grubbers? Are men completely void of manipulation? How about plotting? Do men not plot? In our history, have women plotted and overthrown governments and kingdoms? Are women really that powerful and scary to you that you give men no credit except for their size and physical strength? Are you saying that men are powerless idiots? Is this why every society on earth has been patriarchal for thousands of years? Because women are in charge and are born with so many more advantages than men?

One power that women have over men is the power to reject them sexually. Only stupid and insecure men fear this. Intelligent, powerful and secure men are not bothered by this.

"Some women REALLY are verbally abusive, controlling, and push even the most gentle and reasonable men to their limits."

Women have no right to be abusive any more than men do. So it's the poor gentle man who is pushed to his limits and hits the evil verbally abusive woman? If you know anything about domestic abuse, you will know that this is RARELY the case. What happend to being responsible for one's own actions and self-control? You seem to be justifying the abuse of women.

The only thing that I can agree with you is that women can be cruel and abusive. This isn't the rule for every woman just as it is not for every man. You have to face the fact that some people are cruel and make the effort to see the signs and protect yourself by staying the hell away.

Considering the things you've written about women, you writing that it is wrong to hit women seems to be political correctness on your part. You yourself my not be a violent individual but that does not mean that you don't agree with such behavior to a certain extent.