Men put on a tough face when they are going through tough times. Don't be fooled. You've obviously never seen a guy post-breakup with his best friend, beating himself up, missing her and can't even smile until you make him. So the truth is: they don't. When a guy falls hard it can take him months or even years (extreme) to get completely over it/her/him. But guys try to move on (rebound) faster than women because for guys the way to move on is through action. Guys never wallow or spend time thinking and over thinking everything nearly as much as women do. It's not a guy's strength.
So guys take their emotions on physical journeys (rebound, new hobbies, going out a lot, etc), rather than sort through all of them inside first. so it may look like they move on much faster than women. But truth is, they limp forward to regroup. And women I guess just heal differently than men do.
Whenever a man actually does move on faster, it's just because he wasn't as far into the relationship anymore. But like I said, if he'd fallen hard at all, it takes him awhile and a lot of effort on his part to get completely over it.
We only look like we do. Actually we never forget.
its not men that rebound faster than women, it depends on the person, i lost everything i ever wanted and the only woman i ever loved and i wont get over it for a very long time that wound wont heal for a long time, but she is over it all ready as has every woman i have ever been involved with got over it faster than me and went on the rebound so to speak.
its not a man nor a woman its the person who gets over it faster or rebounds what ever you call it.
Men may not invest as much in a relationship early on. That can give the impression that they rebound quicker. But aside from that the pain of a broken relationship can be equal for both parties.
However, its not good form for a guy to go sobbing to his mates and have them rally round with the platitude that "all women are b#stards". It's the macho thing. But underneath they are mush. (And you women wonder why you have so much trouble getting men who have been around the block to commit a second time? Blame the previous owner, you tore his heart out and showed it to him.)
I agree with those who say that it's mostly just a mask, that they do hurt but choose to heal themselves by distraction and bravado. I know from experience that men do hurt very deeply after a breakup and they just choose not to show it. Women usually share with their friends and are outwardly more expressive, men are more secretive and keep it all hidden. Big generalisations of course, but I'd say it's mostly true.
I'm not sure they all do. Some men are exceptionally sensitive and emotional. Men aren't generally encouraged to talk about their feelings so I think they tend to shut down and hide it behind that false bravado thing they've got going on.
I dont necessarily believe that men rebound quicker than women but what I do think is in alot of situations it is easier for men to move on more quickly when there is someone else in the picture. Just my opinion...
It's been 8 months since I walked out.
I chose to leave, but I am still devastated.
Good question. My guess is that they don't derive strength from being alone and independent the way many women do.
If the man has left or was asked to leave, he usually globs onto the rebound gf to distract him from the pain of the break up and to avoid having to do the recovery work. Men want someone to take care of them, the house, and to have sex with. They want the companionship. They don't want to be alone. Their friends encourage them to date, thinking that this is what is needed to be "happy." The problem is, they are stuck and stay stuck because they are looking in the wrong place to find peace and happiness. It is not from a rebound relationship. The relationship is a distraction and serves the purpose of helping the person find an equilibrium to function. This leads to the rescuer, victim, persecutor triangle, and it is unlikely to be a healthy adult relationship. The best thing a therapist and friends can do to help is to support the guy in helping others, reconnecting with family and friends, and not being so self centered.
Because they are not usually THAT involved in the first place. Women are so quick to give all of their emotions to a man and end up suffering the consequences.