Why do men think that all men are always looking to upgrade?

Asked By: m2extreme 31-35, F 4 months ago

My husband freaks out when I have male friends, his recital of "All men are always looking to upgrade" is the reasoning behind this paranoid behavior. Is that accurate? Are men really looking at females, regardless of marital status...as a reason to upgrade from what they have?

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9 Answers to "Why do men think that all men are always looking to upgrade?"

Posted by luv2showoff Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:33AM

Yeah, if you're insecure.

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Posted by stevez24 Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:42AM

Its the same with women as well, not all men are insecure and jealous. If you love and trust each other then there shouldnt be any problems regarding friends of the opposite sex. Ask yourself, If he has female friends who he hangs out with regularly, do you wonder what they're up to ? If the thought crosses your mind then you both need to talk more seriously about it. I dont understand why couples dont discuss this possibily criplling issue as they get to know each other.. and if one is the jealous type stay away. Hope you two resolve this

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Reply by m2extreme Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:54AM

ya...that doesn't seem to work with him. I could care less if he hung out with other females, I trust him, that simple. I can even tell him exactly what I will be doing...and he still flips out if a male is around in any capacity. Says inappropriate for a married female to have male friends.
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Reply by stevez24 Dec 27th, 2012 at 11:06AM

Then I dont know why you didnt know he was like this before you married. I, personally wouldnt try to develop friendships with females if I was married but The female friends I have already, are like family and if my wife was jealous Id be very worried it would effect our relationship for the worst and Id have to hurt myself by letting my friend go. =(
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Posted by IWishIUnderstood Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:39AM

upgrade isn't the right term for this situation. What he's afraid of is that every straight man will think about an attractive female friend sexually.

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Reply by m2extreme Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:43AM

good point. thanks
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Reply by IWishIUnderstood Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:56AM

yeah, it's not impossible to be friends with guys but that is definitely something that has crossed their minds at least once.
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Posted by Fazer Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:34AM

They don't think that. Men are bound to wonder if their partners spend a significant amount of time with male friends, though, just as females might wonder if their men spend a significant amount of time with female friends. Hey, at least your husband sees you as an 'upgrade'! There's a compliment in there somewhere ;-)

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Reply by m2extreme Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:37AM

lol thanks
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Posted by 5thApprentice Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:34AM

Not true at all.

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Posted by dawgger Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:33AM

Seriously, do you think men who are 'friends' never sized you up? Come on, we are hawks!

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Reply by m2extreme Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:36AM

sizing up, lol and apparently trying to "trade up" to me are different concepts...men and women too size people up as they see them daily...don't even have to know them. But do you guys really think you have to basically **** on your female to feel secure?
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Reply by dawgger Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:39AM

I'm not in a relationship yet, so I can't comment on what I'd tell my girl. Essentially, I meant to say, men are hawks. Size up, trade up, trade in, swap - for me, men a re pretty lustful.
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Posted by Lushiro Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:32AM

That is a lie people are perfect just the way they are, most just don't see that others appreciate them and value who they are.

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Posted by whyalwayssolo Mar 31st, 2013 at 8:09AM

It's instinct. But good men ignore it.

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Posted by Taoistman Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:37AM

That's funny I thought that was true of most woman, But never once thought that of men, Hmm. Interesting question. I think he is insecure and should respect you more by trusting you.

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