Maybe they are using that because they are wanting to test out the relationship first before making any sort of romantic commitments. I have learned that some men are so totally gunshy about women getting romantic with them that they will put the stops on the dating thing even before they know if they like you. <br />
Case in point was the last guy I was involved with. Wrote me all kinds of emails about how "perfect" a woman would have to be for him to consider her, how he wasn't interested in dating anyway, how he was thinking he would run off to the wilderness with his dog one day...etc. etc. Then we meet face to face and all that baloney kind of goes out the window. <br />
Honestly, I think they put up emotional barriers because they feel that we are out to "trap them" somehow. So it's "hands off woman!" until they figure out if they like us or not. Maybe we make them weak in a way they don't like? lol<br />
Goodness, I think that last guy even resented the fact that he was attracted to me. Go figure. It makes no sense the way some guys operate.
Sometimes you just value a persons friendship and would still like to be friends with that person a year from now on - rather than make the silly mistakes and get romatically involved
Actually with me, if I want to date a woman I let my intentions known. I have learned that platonic friendship only really works when both sides don't have romantic feelings about the other side. <br />
As for other guys, there are two different reason. The first, I read in another answer about they say it to test the waters. Basically they are trying to read the girl (This is is the third time I corrected my typo, I hit every key around the g, but the g) to see what her intent, and yet protects themselves. A cowards way out really. Generally these guys are the ones with low self-esteem.<br />
The other reason, is some guys go with the motto (sorry to be blunt here) the best way to get into a woman's pants is to act like you don't want to. These guys are generally the ones that are too high on themselves.
That's weird...cuz I think it's really hard to break away from the friend zone once your in it. I never approach women as friends if I really wanted them. Maybe that's why I don't have friends...lol.
Well.... They are trying to think pragmatically.....<br />
Dating sucks... because no one is being their real selves... everyone is putting on their best... <br />
When your friends with someone you get to know them very well.... I know first hand that it is possible to fall for someone you weren't interested in at all, because they weren't the right type... but something deeper was the cynch.<br />
Having said that... I've never had more with a friend... I've always went about it the way that seems to work... I don't try to make friends, because I know that doesn't work. On the other hand I'm pretty tired of dating altogether...<br />
UPDATE: I just read your comment about not dating someone who says "I just want to be friends"... you are right on the mark... I would never EVER say that to someone that I was even remotely into.... I have said that to a girl recently... hahaha... but that was to get her to back off....lol
Because they are emotioanlly immature? To me you have to start out as dfriends first however if the guy never makes a move to take it to the next level,that is if there is romantic chemistry then yes you are correct once stuck in the friend zone you stay there because you couldnt close the deal. Well that's my opinion at least.
I don't understand why be friend with someone who hurt you.