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I'll never understand. My mom sucked at being a mom. She liked *getting* pregnant but not parenting. She ditched my half brother. She got pregnant with me. She came back and took my half brother from a decent home. Then after a few years she got bored, dumped us both off at her parents and left us for seven years. It sucked but it was better than moving every six months and dealing with her drunken drama. Then she came back and took us away from that life like it was nothing and started moving us around again and stepfathers... and fights... and she hates being a mom. She wasn't loving. She only complained about us. But she kept having kids and even now as adults she wants to be a part of her lives like she's earned it. Why do bad parents do that to their children? Why do they cling to children they don't want and don't love?
RoughKissGirl RoughKissGirl 18-21, F 6 Answers Oct 24, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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you'll never understand it unless you become a mother.

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Not gonna happen. I raised my little brothers because she couldn't be bothered to do it. I'm done raising kids. But I'll never get why she came back. It was better when she just stayed away.

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u judged your mom without even knowing the real reasons behind why she did it. I believe she did it for your own good. They aren't selfish, they do make mistakes..they are human.
Did u know that a huge percent of mothers has a depression after giving birth? And did u even consider that one of the people having it is your mom? Did u hear about Postpartum depression? read the link Im gonna give u for u to understand your mom better.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postpartum_depression
http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/depression-pregnancy.cfm

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You don't even know my mom. She is a narcissist who only cares about herself. She is selfish in the extreme. Just because a woman gives birth doesn't mean she is a good person.
She abandoned my half brother to run away with my dad and then got bored with him and came back three years later. Then she took him away from his dad and dragged us all over while she hooked up with different guys. When we cramped her style too much, she showed up with us in the middle of the night at my grandparents and she ditched us without a word (and without giving our dads the option to take us). Then she never called or spoke to us for seven years, showed back up and yanked us outta that home and life without saying a word to us about it. Then she continued dragging us around while she chased men and drank and fought and did drugs and had more babies that she insisted I take care of. All the while she told us everyday how miserable we made her and how she wished we hadnt been born. My mother is not depressed. My mother is an *******.

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sorry for what you've been through. I really do hope all things gets better to u and to your family.

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welfare checks free food, free rent, free medical

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I never understand how any mother who carries a child for 9 months and gives birth to a child and then decides they don't want them ...the children are innocent and didn't ask to be born, maybe they should give them to someone who loves them more but think about the kids they are the ones who will be losing out right...it's all well and easy saying give them to someone else but the trauma and affect it may have on the child is what is paramount in such a situation.

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Really? You think it's better for someone abusive and neglectful to keep a child rather than give them to someone who would love them? I wouldn't have lost out on anything if my mother had left me with my biological dad. She took me away from him out of spite. Yeah I'd be sad I didnt have a mom but no mom is better than a mom who doesnt love you because at least with no mom, you can have hope and dreams of a good parent.

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You didnt use the word abuse in that case it's obvious the kids have to be removed ...no one would dispute that but if you have a mother who just cannot cope with her kids and really just need help is that a reason to take them away....?...and still like i said before the kids and their safety are paramount which means what is best for them.

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I don't think we are talking about the same thing here. I'm not talking about legally taking kids away from bad parents. I'm asking why parents who make it clear that they don't want their kids, will pitch a fit about their kids being THEIRS and insist on keeping them.
Why take on that responsibility you really don't want? My mother got off scott free. She dumped us off at her parents house and left us for seven years and then showed up one day outta the blue and said, "you are coming with me." Ripped us out of school, away from friends, away from everything without blinking an eye. And it was all so she could spend all her time chasing the next big thrill, the next boyfriend and resentfully drag us along, all the while talking about how we should "appreciate" her.
She hated us for cramping her style. So why come back for us? I cant understand it.

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I think they are seaching for something and they are selfish. Children are a huge responsibility they need EVERYTHING AND DESERVE everything when little and when they are growing up. No one is a perfect parent I have regrets and I am still learning and my kids are late teens but I try. Please don't carry the bitterness and anger forever it will only destroy . You can't fix what was done just how you deal with it It's not fair but its truth

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Oh I know. I have just been thinking a lot about my mom today. She is a terrible person. Some of the recent events in my life happened because of her crappy parenting. She's mentally ill and narcissistic is part of the problem and I should feel bad for her but I'm too busy being angry. It's time for me to be angry I think. For too long I've been ignoring her role in the crapstorm that is my life.

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Good luck to you it's okay to be angry or anything else you feel just be good to yourself and find goodness in your life you deserve it

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Selfishness. Also if she had/has an alcohol/drug addiction, she wasn't thinking. People like that need help to see just how bad their actions affect others. The fact is, they live in their own version of reality where you're just an extra. She needs a slap of truth and reality.

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"The fact is, they live in their own version of reality where you're just an extra."
Truth. That is exactly it. She doesn't want to be a mom. She isn't good at it. But she insists on acting like we are so ungrateful for all her sacrifice. What sacrifice?

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moms who don't want 2 be moms could like the gov't money that comes with it more...lol...having a steady paycheck popping up in your bank account when u are popping out little ones can be a steady source of enjoymentP

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