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I have been told it is because it is easier to hate. Does this mean they don't know how to love or only save a universal love for an intimate relationship (Also, where do you think they'd get this idea that it's only for intimate relationships)? Two and a half part question, I suppose lol. I just don't quite get how it is hard to love and accept someone for who they are instead of hate them and wish them misery. Everyone is different after all. It's not like its set up to have anyone be better than anyone. Perhaps control is a human instinct. The "higher ups" aren't really setting a good example for the human race then, what, with all that fighting and wars. I ask a hefty question, I know, but I am genuinely curious to what everyone's thoughts on it is.
CrystalConscience CrystalConscience 22-25, M 9 Answers Jan 1 in Community

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eye for an eye

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"Become the enemy to defeat the enemy" no thank you lol. I don't like that philosophy. Holds too many holes.

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they will never cross you again

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Never became my enemy and that still happened. lol

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There are ways of seeking revenge. Some like to serve it cold. Some serve it hot.

Patience and tolerance comes through learning. We need to be taught. If we are upbringing has been such and our parents been an example to us and had corrected us, I believe we grow up to be more like them. There will always be exceptions of course.

We cannot accept wrong doing. It has be dealt with in the right manner, if not we may want to take revenge. It is when matters are not dealt with that we can take matters to heart. On the other hand, if we are able to not take notice of minute offense we can build on that to address more serious issues.

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Yes, I agree, the parents have a major role in a child's emotional and mental development. The parents are suppose to be the number one people to go to for a child. I can understand that kind of burden/joy and how stressful it can sometimes be. But in order to take care of anyone else, the person must first take care of themselves. This means both physical /and/ emotional/mental. It is easy to lose sight of thing while in stress just as it is easy not to think when you are not told that much. A good answer, thank you. =)

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It's really not easy. I want to love the people around me but there are times where I just don't. It all comes down to how the person treats you, as to where you both stand.. whether you care for them or not.



I know for myself, If I'm continuously treated badly, I will stop liking that person. I can't stand complainers, problem-makers and drama-queens. I just can't. I can only hear one sob story at a time, I can not handle any more than that. Hearing someone who complains about everything, who consistently has a problem that they need to complain or vent about, someone who always has a sob story where every conversation is about them or people who dramatize even the smallest woe in their life drive me crazy.



People like you have said " Just show them love." In all honesty, you really can't. These kinds of people are the people who cause their own problems. This is the kind of thing you do not want to be around because sooner or later, they'll end up blaming you or saying that you're not helping. It's a complete wildfire that never ends and will not stop until they realize and take in the truth. If they can't do that, then you can not do anything to make them happy.



These are the kinds of people that need to make themselves happy. That need to find their own love within themselves.. people like me or Pajama Pete down the street aren't the ones harming them. You can't care for these kinds of people and if you can't shake them, you learn to hate them. Seriously. There are some of these people who you just can not shake. They will follow you around and refuse to erase your number from their cellphone, p*ssing you off till your red in the face.. Then, you blow up at them and they cling to you even more...



so.. that's my reason. It's pretty long, sorry about that btw... but hopefully if you read this, you'll understand.

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I have been treated badly, as well. I do not expect everyone to like me but I expect the same respect I show them. I accept who they are and their choices in life, even if it is to hate me. I can love someone, but not like them. I don't have to be around them to love them and wish for them to find the peace they seek. Everyone can make themselves happy though. It depends on how you look at things. Emotions have as much control over you as your thoughts, themselves. It all comes down to actions and consequences of actions. If they wish to make an action, let them, but don't judge them for it for it is theirs to make. You can offer help or guidance but many like to learn the hard way.

Perhaps the disconnection is involved because the most the world itself despises each other and makes others unhappy to fuel some kind of satisfaction. Or perhaps they just do not care or think.

If someone were to insult me to no end or try their best to obstruct my life, all I would do is feel sorry for them. Maybe even confront them about it, if its bad enough. But aside from that, all I can do is love from afar. Much like a parent watches a child grow only less insulting, if you catch what I mean. lol

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Ah.. see, that's where you and I are different. If people get me to that point where they're irritating me real bad, I'll go into this weird state where I imagine myself injuring them, but I don't do it because I know the consequences. I normally take myself out of situations like that before my anger flies off the radar, because it can. I have a disorder where I can not control my own emotions, but being off meds has helped me grab ahold of them more and know my point where I will need to leave the situation. I don't hate people in general. I don't exactly hate many people.. as my sister has told me, I get annoyed easily, but I can cover that annoyance up and let it go. With others, I have become better with the whole taunting and teasing.. sometimes I just do not care and other times I want to.. I think I already explained that. Either way, I think some people need a really hard wake up call.. that is why I tune them in when I need to.

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I know the struggles with anger lol. I use to have so much it a few years ago. I haven't even felt a smidge of it since then though. I didn't even know why I would get upset at such petty things but then it dawned on me that perhaps these people just don't know any better. Much like a rebel teenager (again, not insulting anyone lol). And then I noticed how they reacted to my kindness after they had been so cruel. They would either blow up more or lighten up on it. If they blow up more, its proof of "childish" mind-set for me. In which case I just tell them "I'm sorry if I caused you to get upset and I'm sorry you feel that way. " and go my separate way. I would just rather not be upset, myself and so I don't bring myself down to their level. Would make me no better than them, in my opinion. I'm not saying your way is wrong or anything though. Like you said, its tough to control and I know it all too well. You're not to blame. You seem to be a very strong person because of it though. So it kind of balances out. =)

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Negativity is definitely EASIER, so most people choose revenge. However, often, the easier way is also the most harmful way, especially when solving problems. Revenge focuses on the solution, while acceptance and reconciliation focus on the process (relationship) and making it work better. That's my two cents, anyway.

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A fair and respectable answer. Thank you.

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Because it is a very, very, human reaction.

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To lose a love one hurts a lot as I once found out.

But its better to accept when there is no chance of being together again.

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I personally am more of an in the moment kind of girl. I can be very angry and want to scream and throw something at them. But once I have time to cool off and relax then I'll talk it out with said person. Im not spiteful. And I dont bring up past issues just to inflict pain. If a person really hurt me, I would much rather leave them behind and move on to something better. Life is too short to be fighting all the time.

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That's the spirit =) Good attitude to have about it

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Plain and simple for me, they never asked for forgiveness. And I'd like them to have a taste of some of the pain they've caused me. So they'd try for once and listen.

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