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This happen all the time! Sometimes it helps save the marriage after but unfortunately for some it doesn't. What do you think contributes to this?
LadyComplex LadyComplex 31-35, F 63 Answers Mar 20, 2010

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WHOA!!!!<br />
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All of you are right about SOME people who cheat..BUT not about MOST people who cheat. <br />
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MOST people who cheat are justified. MOST people who cheat have been so emotionally and mentally, psychologically abused by their spouses, that yes, it is justifiable. I don't care, nor do any other therapists, marriage counselors, or divorce lawyers for that matter, what anyone says. <br />
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When a man is married to a woman who all but physically beats the manhood out of him, it is human instinct, a self preservation and a primal need to find an emotional attachment. And as humans we do this and express this through sex and physical touch. <br />
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Men and women alike are going to get what they need. And if the spouse continues to abuse and neglect, they will get what they need.

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Take a step back here. Flirting and an affair are two vastly different animals. And the reasons for both are often varied as well.<br />
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Think of it like this...all affairs probably contain some element of flirting, but not all flirting leads to affairs.<br />
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Yes, some flirting can lead to affairs, but that isn't a given. Lots of people flirt and never follow through with anything more serious.<br />
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Some people act flirtatious by nature/personality--ususally extroverts, who may not mean anything by it except that they find it fun, whether they are married or not. However, if they continue to flirt in front of a spouse who is insecure, this could cause problems. They are being disrespectful if they have been asked to stop flirting because it hurts their spouse.<br />
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And don't discount introverts, who can be incredible flirts online or by email, where they feel more at ease. Some introverts are so charming, they can make people fall in love with them without ever having talked to them or met them in real life.<br />
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As with most questions here, there isn't a black-and-white answer.

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they are not happy in the marriage and are not getting their needs met, yet do not have the courage to divorce or initiate divorce.

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why?<br />
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because they are immature, selfish, and disrespectful. That's all there is to it. try to come up with excuses to justify their actions.. but those three traits are the real reasons why.

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neither flirting or cheating is NEVER good for a marriage. firting is disrespectful, and cheating is trashy and immoral.

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THEIR CHICKEN ****. THEY CAN'T EVEN TELL THEIR SPOUSES..IF THEY ARE NOT HAPPY WITH THE MARRAIGE WHY NOT MAN UP OR WOMAN UP AND SAY HOW THEY FEEL, INSTEAD OF DOING THE RIGHT THING, THEY RATHER DO THE COWARDLY THING WHICH IS CHEATING..FOR ME AND MY SO CALLED SOON TO BE EX HUSBAND, YES HE CHEATED BUT GUESS WHAT HE GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF STDs FROM HIS AFFAIR, SO I GOT THE LAST LAUGH AND YES I AM MOVING ON . WE ARE LIVING TOGETHER JUST FOR THE CONVENIENCE BUT OTHER THAN THAT, LIFE IS GOOD.....HE CAN GO F*** WHOEVER CAUSE I SURELY DONT CARE ANYMORE....AND GET MORE STDs,..lmao!!!!

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Because after years you end up becoming roomates,If you marry when you are too young/or start a family too young you never get to grow as a person because you have everything else to worry about and take care of.I know we have choices and responsibilities..true ! But the fact of the matter is many of of us NOT ALL have cheated,we all have differ reasons,excuses whatever you want to call them,Who are we to judged ???

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I flirt because it lifts my Spirits. Also there is nothing better after 20 years or so of marriage to think that someone finds you attractive. Great Fun :-)

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Some people don't appreciate what they have. If your spouse has cheated on you, don't do anything to change you! Some people cheat because their sex life is not at the point they want it to be. Just make them realize you might of been the best thing that ever happened to them!

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because the are heartless ******** who do not value their spouses or themselves. If you can't commit to someone then you shouldn't married! heeelllllooooo. people are dumb

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People who have affairs are not always or even usually part of an unfulfilling situation. <br />
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The problem is, that they are selfish and selfserving individuals who shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. <br />
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Many are serial cheaters, and won't ever stop. <br />
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Making up excuses for cheating, blaming the spouse, etc, is a cop out, and a tactic usually used to by those who cheat, to justify their own character flaws.

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There can be alot of answers to why! IF this is how they want to live then why get married in the first place... Hurting other people will always come full circle RE: John Edwards or Mark Sanford>or what? Do men not get enough at home? Or is it that they JUST DON'T GIVE ENOUGH!!!!!

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I will never have an affair but I do za little flirting, nothing too sexy or too obvious, just a little fun flirting to know that I still have it...it's good to know that even though I'm married (to a wonderful sexy man) other guys still find me attractive ;) That's all, it just to feed the ego.

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They are selfish! I personally think flirting is wrong when you are in a serious relationship. Affairs, no matter what the context, are inappropriate no matter what. If they feel the need to flirt with people and have affairs, have the balls to leave your partner first!

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Yes, most of the time something is missing for someone to cheat, but if you do not take other steps to better your marriage then you have no excuse. <br />
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And if you are not happy in the marriage, do you really think your partner is is? It takes two. Sorry but if you think you are faultless you will never have a good relationship, with anyone! There are ways to fix a marriage than to just run off and have an affair. <br />
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An affair is selfish. If your needs are not met, probably your spouses aren't either so just end it. Give that person the respect to move on as you have. Dragging someone along is a horrible thing to do. I am sure you would appreciate someone doing that to you (sarcasm). It is just selfish!!

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If they are bored, or not gettting what they want out of the marriage do you not think that their spouse DESERVES some derespect and they should just end the relationship if they want to play around.. It is just very hurtful, disrespectful and wrong. (period)..

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I think mostly because the person having the affair needs something their spouse just isn't giving. I don't think most people start out to have affairs, I think they just sort of happen because the person is responding to something being offered that their spouse isn't.

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because they are man w*h*o*r*e*s

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For funsies

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Some of these comment really crack me up!First off if you are married,DO NOT EVER cheat!PERIOD! Yes is happens and will continue to happen, but its not right.And as far as it saveing a marriage to cheat?Thats the best joke I ever heard!Sometimes things get said and "feelings" get hurt, but come on, dont react on a feeling.If thats the case, this world is doomed by those who react because their little feelings got hurt or someone winked at them or showed them a little attention because the others partner was working his/her assoff to support the family....do onto others as you want others to do on to you.have a good day.

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