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My daughter (and my niece) who I both think are beautiful., and are at least good looking (others tell me my daughter is gorgeous), both pick boys who others (male and female) tell me are...well... ugly! He has a lousy job (its a go nowhere job at a grocery store), isn't smart (he tried college, and I saw some of his test grades. 40/100), his parents are possible the stupidest people I've even met! I know she has low self-esteem (which I work hard at rebuilding). I think his only redeeming quality is; he isn't in a gang, not on drugs and he isn't a criminal. Those just aren't very high goals.
5hadow 5hadow 51-55 14 Answers Dec 10, 2012 in Friendship

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Atleast he has a job and doesnt take money from her

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he didn't get the job on his own merits, he was recommended by someone who worked there. and he just asks her and she buys it for him :(

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I understand u want the best for your daughter but why dont u give this young man a chance? Spend some time with him. Hes still in school and trying to make some money. Doesnt matter who got him the job. If hes a lazyass he wouldnt even want to work to begin with.

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he gave up on school after half a semester. I did try, he lied to me. and they cause each other to lie (she admitted this to me)! so she lies to me.

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Sounds like shes young and still figuring stuff out. Just please.. If she comes to you and wants to marry one of these guys, tell her to travel for a year and if she comes back and still wants to she will have your blessing. My world was so small when I was that age, I wasn't aware of all there is to experience out there in the big wide world.

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Until I came along, she had never been anywhere. I've taken her places, and want to take her to more places, open her eyes and expand her horizons.

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So if 'hypothetically' I had money, some of the highest grades in the country, was decent looking, with highly respected and intelligent parents; when could I expect your daughter?

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I'm not asking for a genius, or even someone pretty. I'm looking for someone who can encourage her and help her be her best. I'm not going to deliver her to you or anyone.

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If their happy then that's a plus. Sounds like your not happy with their choices?

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Thing is, she isn't happy, at least judging by what she has told her few close friends. The talk to me because I'm the "cool dad" who listens to them.

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and I olny want what's best for her. I really don't want a lifetime if strife and hardship for her! So no, I'm not pleased.

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Now i understand,sorry. Your a caring father,how old is your daughter, (if you don't me asking)?

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20. I'm hoping she can and will see the "light". I'll keep encouraging her to do and be everything she can be!
Its hard bc I love her so much!

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You will have trust her,i'm sure she will be fine and your there if she needs you. But she will go to her friends that's normal.

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I hope so. most of her friends have abandoned her :(

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It's a tough time being 20 especially these days.

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those years are never easy... I really DO remember!

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We all handle them differently. Good luck with your daughter.

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6 More Responses

None of us knows what makes someone attracted to anyone else.<br />
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Sometimes lack of self-esteem plays a role in the choices we make too.<br />
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Probably the best idea to just let them live their lives. If they made bad choices, hopefully they'll learn from them as they mature.

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I really don't want her to have a lifetime if strife and hardship.

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They're just attracted to the "bad boys". It happens so often to young girls. If your daughter in underage and you can put a stop her being with him. Otherwise, she might just have to learn for herself that the attraction with bsf boys is really too much drama. Sadly, a lot of grown women don't even realize that.

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I'm more than willing to let her make her own mistakes. I'd be negligent as a father and parent if I didn't at least let her know about things that "might" happen.
and I'll always be there to pick her up if she needs! (that's part of the dad job too!)

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true! she's 20, so little I can really do :/

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....and why do some reproduce with them and contaminate their gene-pool??????

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opposites attract? :D choosing a partner who is a notch or two lower on the totem pole gives them a psychological edge to feel safe and in control

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I'd be happy with someone only a notch or two below...I'd be thrilled! C:
this boy is practically a lower species!

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i guess we buried the bar on this one lol!

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Maybe you should rethink the smart part.

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I meant intelligent. point taken though

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I know, Did not mean anything by it. But maybe there is something about that person you can not see!

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judging by their friends reactions (and abandonment), no one else sees it either

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