i never thought it would happen to any one i knew.. but it did.. and i cant do anything to put an end to it.
pookyangel88 pookyangel88 22-25, F 13 Answers Jan 3, 2010

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Hi there. I have worked over a year in a Women's Health Center, where we have a program to prevent and deal with women who have been abused physically or emotionally by their partners. Has hard at it is, there are several reasons why some women allow men to beat them up. Some reasons are love, low self-steem, emotional dependency, children involved, economic dependency, fear or change, you name it. Sometimes it's hard to hear the reasons they give us but we can't be judgemental. We can only help. Sad but true, domestic or partner abuse is very common. For some women it's very hard to break from the violence cycle. Be there for your friend or relative. If you think her life is on immediate danger, look for help. Don't judge her, be there for her and be someone who helps her to get out of the violence cycle. Good luck!

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Because society does not stand on their side and male administration is still making unjust laws to dominate them.

Women are made shameful when being raped and no men will show consideration or compassion to them. More education is required to bring this world to a fine society for gender equality.

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the may subconsciously be feeling that violence is part of real love or maybe they fear that this is what they deserve and punish themselves that way or hope that the man they love will eventually see their worth and stop beating them. it's probably linked to a deep feeling of unworthiness or undeserving of love.

as for your friend, you are not responsible for her. i know it hurts you, but you can only love her and believe that she can go through her life experience by herself. you can't solve it for her and you shouldn't. this is her choice, even if it looks like she's a victim. you can ask her soul (intuitively) to help her if you're worried and you can also ask your soul to help you with coping with that.

trust that in time she will have gathered what she needs from this and will have experienced a part of herself as deeply as she needed.

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-low self esteem

-feeling like she did something to 'deserve' it

-would rather be beaten up than confront him

-maybe confronting him would end the relationship, so 'just this once' it's okay

-'he won't do it again'

-too dependent on him, afraid of angering him/not pleasing him

-doesn't know how to ask for help or say that that's not okay

-abuse is better than no attention at all

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Because we are still trying to overcome our genetic programing.

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Because I don't care anymore. I Hope He kills me. I hate me and He has every reason to hate me too. The other women He flirts with are better and prettier than me.

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Its not that a woman necessarily "lets someone beat them", these circumstances are much more complicated than what one would assume initially. I'm sorry your friend is going through this though, its a really tough circumstance that takes a lot to walk away from and it forever changes you. Don't give up on her, she needs you to be there if she ever finds a way out from it.

In abusive relationships, a person's spirit can and in most cases where one doesn't leave is broken. This person is constantly berated, isolated, and closely controlled. Their money if they have a job is taken over, their transportation if they have any of their own, their phones, all in the abusers control. Friends are far and few between because its frustrating watching the person you love get hurt and turn around just to go back out of fear of losing children or financial stability just as the abuser does everything in their power to isolate them from their friends and family. Some honestly believe the abuser means well and will change to make the relationship work, that its only jealousy that gets to them or their substance abuse. The most severe cases are basically brainwashed into thinking and literally feeling like it is their fault they were abused. They didn't do something correctly or fast enough. They should have known better because they knew what could happen if they messed up. Its a matter of being good enough for the abuser instead of protecting ones self by walking away. Walking away is when one is most in danger of being seriously injured by their abuser. It is the most dangerous time for the abused in these kinds of relationships. Its a huge cycle where fear and dependence hinder one's ability to get out. Sure we all think that if a partner hit us we would leave regardless of what is between us, but when it comes down to it and you feel as if you truly love someone sometimes walking away isn't something you feel you want or even can do... Again its not about "letting" someone do this to you, its about not seeing that you are not the problem... they are.

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A lot of times it is "genetic," as in, she saw her father beat her mother, and her mother never left, she stayed with the abusive father. All that little girl is going to know is that men get away with being violent toward women.

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she has to get out on your own. offer your help. when she's ready, be willing to help if you can. but cover your tracks carefully. make sure she's somewhere where he can't find her. it's best if she can get a restraining order on him. good luck.

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don't GO THERE!

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