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wishwing wishwing 41-45, F 34 Answers May 5, 2010

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Some men feel like real men by treating women as possessions rather than people. I suppose some men get off on trying to be the "King" of their little fiefdom, when in actuality, they are just small, ignorant, pathetic bullies in grown man bodies. To be fair, women are every bit as capable of the same behavior, again, they are just as pathetic.

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I am married to a man that does this. It's a miracle that I haven't killed him in his sleep.

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Oh god, am with you on that one !!! lol

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Some men, and women, too, have serious control issues that come from deep seated insecurities. Being controlling is their response to those insecurities. However, if you're stuck in a relationship with someone who has even mild control issues, knowing what causes those issues is of little comfort. If you're stuck with someone with major control issues, you should do whatever you can to remove yourself, especially before you get to the "burning bed" part.

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Men like to control you know....(most men let me say, because we still have good men out there...YEAH); I like your question honestly; it is a good question. I could like to respond to this question this way; it is not the men that is putting us down nor controlling us; it is us because if you love yourself, respect yourself and you are strong minded kind of person and you came across a man who is abusive, controlling, and put you down you should pack your bags and walk out of the door because you know that you deserve more than he has to offer to you right now....in Africa, we have that problem a lot, men are always trying to control you in any possible way that he can...for example my man (I love him much); he is telling me that I am too slim and I should gain a more weight, since my clothes were becoming big and losing way was due to stress at work, I did rest a lot, and eat well and weight to fit my clothes (I don’t like to be fat, I like to be fit); so now he is after me and telling me that I should be more fat…I was like nigga, when your *** fell in love with me I was slim and the only reason why I listen to you is because it was the right thing to be done; I did not do it so that you could and should be telling me that I have to be like this and do like that you know if you are not happy…hit the road fast and please never forget that I love you the way you are and could not change you if I could….after this conversation, he is even afraid to ask me to eat, because he say that he has never seen a woman like me and I only do things that seems to hit my head and he also told me that he is glad that I actually told him what I was feeling………the reason why I am telling you this story is to let you know that we are the one that let the things happen to us; imagined if I did agree to be more fat, and then other thing could come and so on and so on; but I was able to stop it at right there before it even started….we have to know the difference between what is actually real and what is not realistic. I hope this can help as answer.

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You are dead right, and yes, i am getting out!! you sound like a woman after my own heart : ) <br /><br />
Thank you for your comment x

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if a woman stays with a man who is annoying & controlling, she is just as much as fault as he is. i feel like grabbing these women & shaking them.

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This can't be called manhood! .. I also won't blame those who claim to be men as this is their attitude .. I would blame the ladies who give them that chance and accept this attitude until they sadly wake up and realize the pain severely and late .. With respect to all men but personally those kind of men are kicked out of my life with no regret and cry .. I don't wait for the pain to start eating my heart as I like to stay alive ^_^

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You stupid woman. SIT OVER THERE> F U K.

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See what i mean ..........i rest my case!

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It comes natural for the Primate to behave that way, it has not evolved into human emotion yet. A Neanderthal. Or a product of his environment hearing his dad insult his mom or vice versa.

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so how do the woman stand up for there self with out yelling and getting into a fight? Cause Im about ready to go off on this guy and Im the girls mom!

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because if the woman is attactive ,, they feel that that cant satisfy them in bed.. they feel weak.. and they hate being weak..<br />
so the geo needs to put the woman down so they feel weak.. and in tun.. the ego is now fullfilled as being stonger,, the man goes on the mary a plain jane inexperienced woman that he feels adiquate with.<br />
o maybe they<br />
become extemely abusive to the pretty woman if he chooses to keep her .. if she is insecure enough to make him feel the bigger person.

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I see as a demonic spirit In them and you cannot feed it, or it wants and demands. Submitting to God to be able to resist the devil works. Praying Gods word continuously combats that spirit in them. The way I say through my experience you can feed into it is simply believing the lies that he or she tells you acting or negatively reacting to what he or she does, always fearful all the time. If your single not to have sex with those that have that spirit in them, it is almost like you become them sort of speak in giving yourself away to having sex with that spirit and you can never know what kind of victim you become being so connected to that, and it starts to feel like you can't get out and the way of escape is always Jesus no matter what and once your already in this type of relationship, you need to go to a safe place without your spouse or boyfriend knowing it and have a plan and just go and I pray in Jesus name you make it to where your going and never to return back to the perpetrator. You need to ask God to help you keenly and clearly listen to what that perpetrator says and take action Asap on what you will do as a result of what he is saying. I personally been in your shoes in my life and I was threatened and near death many times but I trusted God and God brought me out and you don't have to break up right away but to always love and pray for him and get out while you still have breath in your body to do so or you can die in the situation if you choose too.

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some men seem to have no mature way of dealing with a woman other than control and put downs.when it comes to pure negative venom i am out of there.

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I am in a controlling relationship he has been in raf for 22yrs I have been on my own with two children and all he does is put me down I want out and don' t know how

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Because they're weak.

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Insecurity...either way, the best of men and women fail, men control women, women control their children, women control men....true emotional democracy is an artform. I myself feel like I control more when I lack control and self esteem, its kind of a survival technique.

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Well I dont know, my personal experience is that the women I have known well, looking at my mother, sister and wife is that they all have one thing in common. They want everything worth wanting to be their way. There seems no room for compromise only argue to the bitter end, until you are worn down and give in. Then because you did not stand up for yourself, you are perceied as week by them. My poor father worked long shifts in a steelworks, days, nights afternoons, mornings, he was tired and worn out all the time. And suffered with a stomach ulcer too. It could not be treated very well in those days, he had more or less constant indigestion. Is all he ever came home to was "I want" and nag,nag,nag. complain, complain and complain. Yea, he put her down a few times, even clouted her once or twice. I will never condemn him though, I really dont think I could put up with it. He died aged 52.

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That's really quite a sad story, i know where you're coming from though.<br /><br />
Thanks for your comment

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but what about he men that put women down &amp; who are controlling who don't nag or complain?

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I like amiraa's answer.

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iiiiiiiiii M not really sure about it...... but i feeel may be men think that if they give more freedom women will looose respect of him... or may be coz the wanted to feel iimportant .. although its not really true... it all depends on the maturity and understanding of man and woman in every aspects of life.

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It's because of fear. They are afraid to lose the woman in their life so they feel like if they distort their self esteem then control them that they will not have the will to leave. It is also a trust issue..perhaps stemming from child hood. Also maybe that is how their daddy's treated their mommys.

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Off hand a person who acts in this way is out of control themselves. If they can control someone else it gives them a false sense of being in control. As far as the putting down of someone it is part of the control issue.

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