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I have never been married! I am a Gentleman and I treat women with respect! I base this question because of some of the women here who I know! They are good women, great moms and very hard working, yet their husbands pay little attention to them! I want to ask those Husbands this: What is Wrong with you? What's your Problem? I don't understand! I am very proud of the Man I am!
usaone usaone 46-50, M 24 Answers Jun 1, 2010

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Some men are just *****, why is that so hard for you to imagine? And you know what? Some women are too, and deserve what they get. Most of both genders are in the middle, some good some bad. Sometimes a little bad in one reinforces the bad in the other and they spiral downward. And you're right, that's when it's sad.



I have to admit though, in the bad situations I've found myself in, I can't say I was blameless.

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usaone..........a lot of men could learn a thing or two from you. I have been badly treated by mine, did everything. I Tiled floors in lobby, kitchen, and bathroom inc some walls to a very high standard. I have done an awful lot of the woodwork, ie skirtings and architraves, done all of the decorating, made curtains. I am an extremely good cook, and cook meals from scratch, have raised 2 beautiful daughters, whilst he worked long hours at work, and every career change and job change, supported and backed him to the hilt, put my life on hold career wise whilst we built a very large extension, and yes i even 'mucked in' with the builders. You know what.........It got me nowhere, except him bitching about me and badmouthing me to friends and family who would listen. I lost friends through him. I did everything for him, and he repaid me by having affairs. I no longer give a stuff about him, and have the uppermost respect for myself that i once had for him. I now have Zero respect for him, he thinks he's perfect.............of course he does he's a Narcissist - but not my problem. I will one day meet a decent man, and sit back as he 'muddles' through life without me !!



I wish men were more aware of exactly what we do, do that so easily goes un-noticed and unappreciated. So to all you men out there that have shirts trousers all laundry 'magically' appear in the wardrobe, and clean linen on the bed, hot cooked meals, adorable children a wife that does all the diy etc.............It does not happen by magic, we put in hard graft and many hours of labour, so the next time you go to wardrobe think about how and who got it cleaned and pressed for you.............

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I feel your pain mine is the same a lot worse bad names a mentel abuse but I know and feel im not as bad as he says ,, I hate being called dumb and stupid

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I'm married less than a year my husband treat me like crap everyday. He is controlling I can't do anything. I'm from a different country. I left my job and came to US to get married because we love each other. When I met him he was nice in person and on his emails. On his emails he is the sweetest person. He has pretty anger issue. Since I came here he treated me badly like a maid because I don't work. I have to accept everything he said. we got a fight he left me at the bank and I had to take a cab. Sometimes I think he knows what he is doing. I can count how many times we went to visit a place.one time we went to the beach that day I feel lucky. Most of time I stay home when he comes from work if I ask can we go to the mall he says I'm too tried. What kind of husband is that. Sometimes I feel like he is bipolar I told him to go and see a doctor he refused. He treated me badly I front of his parents. We got an argue during Christmas he didn't talk to me for 2 days. It was our first Christmas together. Now it feels he didn't have any respect to me. He is a jerk. One time he got a fight he told me to leave his house. The next day I flew to my mum house. Then we started to email again he told me to return home he purchased a plane ticket.i came and he is still the same nothing change. I have to shut my mouth everytime when I said something he said stop complaining. He said lots of stuff that hurt me. I'm patience ill see how far it will go. With every body he is nice just with me he is rude.

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I am very sorry for what you are going through. I have NEVER treated a Woman like that and I NEVER will. I am a Man who respects Women very much.

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I really wish I knew the answer to this question. I married a man I thought was literally an angel. A few years down the road and I couldn't have been more wrong. I have done everything for him. Ive raised our children on my own,( and stayed in fantastic shape despite having them), supported our family financially because he works for around 6 months then will be unemployed for six months, keep our home spotless, cook him excellent meals. The guy doesn't even have to pick his dirty underware up off the floor. He has been mentally, verbally, and even physically abusive. He makes no effort to spend time with me and treats me as nothing more than an annoyance. Im a pretty girl, that is not to be arrogant, but I am. More importantly I am intelligent, can make good conversation, a talented painter and sculptor, compassionate, have a good sense of humor. Yet I rarely credit myself with these things after 4 years of being talked down to. I feel like he has broken me and that my ability to feel sexy and happy and passionate has been taken away from me in the process. I stay though, not because Im afraid of being alone, because I love him. And I hate myself for still loving him.

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Sometimes men treat women badly because some men view woman as possessions or take them for granted, or have some bitterness towards women which they haven't resolved.

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Different reasons. Poor role model for a father. No role model at all. Bad self esteem making them need to bring someone else down to feel better about themselves. I'm sure there's more.

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Alot of reasons cause that. His behavior could have been learned cognitively, or he needs to control the relationship to compensate for his feelings of inferiority as a child, or it could be because the female doesn't meet up to his expectation because they are not like MOMMA. ALOT of men have MOMMA issues. I could go on and on but these are major ones.

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people will treat u the way u let them

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i think that men who dont treat their wives right, have no self esteem and are completely clueless as to how treat anyone better themselves

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Sometimes women make themselves door mats and are then walked on.



Other times they moan and complain so much, it would be impossible to remain a gentleman.



Men just need to develop convenient deafness. They are pretty good at this.

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ok I can top all of you mine says all the same and is verb and ment ,,abusive as bin for 5 years tow years ago my dad died and when I walked in the room and told him ...h e said sorry to hear that but your not paying for funeral like you did for your mother... hers was befor we met and with being called a dumb b---h and stupid and being told to get out ...I work 40 a week do all car and house repairs I grow up not to hate but now I dint know you could hate 1 person so much.. and I tell him is mouth is what the problem is he don't know when to shut up,,,, 2 more year and dads funeral will be paid off witch I have paid for by my self I am out,,,

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They are fearful and cowards. My x after 6months decided that not to buy me a birthday present nor Christmas present 23rd25th of the same month didn't matter. He said he read me wrong ...he thought like him I was someone who didn't do christmas ..in the same conversation he then told me I was just a bit of fun .. When I asked him what he thought of me ... Any help ?

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I have been married to him for 14 years and I can tell you that he does it beacue he wants to drive what ever self respect I have left down to the bottom in order for me to stay by his side...I have come to the realization that I am not who I was when I was 23 and married him, I have given him my all and there for now all its left is a as he puts it "fat useless woman that no man would ever want to talk to and much less have sex with"...I have been told this for so long that when I see my self in the mirror that is all I see...a fat ugly, useless woman and its better to stay with him than to goo look for mister right...I would like a knight in shining armor to take me away but who would take me...I now have 2 (perfect daughters)kids and who would want to take care of another mans children...I am a bit bitter...

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Yeah I know what you mean, my husband is always degrading me for everything. I am drifting further and further away from him. But I think that's what he wants. He had an affair two years ago with a 27 year old child, he is 57, so I called her and told her she could have him. She told me she wanted nothing to do with him. So I was trying to work on our marriage, but at this point I don't care if he stays or if he goes. Trying to work it out but it's to much work. And I am getting tired. Shouldn't be this much work. I am 53 and I think I am still pretty, and full of life. In my eyes some men just have no respect at all for their wives. And my husband fits that bill. Afraid to start over at this stage in my life, but seriously thinking about it.

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look in your eyes deep next time and see the real you ...

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never be afraid to be the real you ,,happiness is out there and we all deserve it

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because those kind of men are insecure and confused. They thought that the essence of a true man is having the power to abuse, disrespect, and hurt women.

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I guess before answering your question, more info. is needed. Like, how old are you? Views on marriage change as you get older.



Do you know the husbands / families personally. Also, if you are such the gentleman, why have you not found the right woman for you?



Are you the "Nice Guy" that always gets over looked?



Whats the rest of the story here?

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Women treat men like **** just as often; they just don't get violent 99% of the time. That's the testosterone, (it's no excuse, just a fact - there IS NO EXCUSE for violence).

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There are any number of us "Gentlemen out there. But there are also some who seek revenge on what the world does to them by taling it our on someone physically weaker when they get home.

They also call themsleves men. But I don't.

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Well good for you but unfortunately not all men are the same.

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My husband is a mean drunk. I have given him 15 years and two kids. Put up with his horrible family and their trash talking and he is unbelievably mean to me and our daughter. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's a woman hater. He expects everything done for him and he demands respect but he tells me and my daughter to "shut up", calls me names in front of my kids and the only one he's nice to is our 10 year old son. I would love to leave him and start a life with me and my children but I'm scared to death of the verbal abuse my daughter would suffer alone with him during any visitation. In my case, it's a direct result of his crappy childhood growing up with an abudive addict for a father, his terrible self esteem and his heavy drink til his wasted behavior.

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