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Why do some people dwell on things for years, and years and years? Why is it hard for them to move on?

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9 Answers to "Why do some people dwell on things for years, and years and years? Why is it hard for them to move on?"

  1. lms2 - 46-50 years old

    Posted by lms2 May 29th, 2012 at 11:00AM

    Sometimes stuff doesn't heal. We move on, but we don't ever come to grips with what happened so it keeps resurfacing over and over and over.

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  2. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:04AM

    I think you may be right. Healing can take longer for some than others.

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  3. lms2 - 46-50 years old

    Reply by lms2 May 29th, 2012 at 11:17AM

    a little deeper than that... if you are denied the opportunity to heal when things are happening... you don't realize you need to. The person who is exhibiting this behavior may or may not even be aware of what exactly the are reacting too. It is hard to believe in repressed memories... but I know they exist. I think they are overrated, and you have to be careful against implanting false memories... but the survival instinct causes us to do some funky things.

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  4. JasonBrown2004 - 36-40 years old

    Posted by JasonBrown2004 Sep 27th, 2012 at 8:06PM

    The more you try to forget or let go the more it clings on! It can feel almost impossible to stop the conscious mind replaying thoughts like a broken record. But what I find is that as a short term relief sleep works well. Especially in those first moments when I wake its almost like the thoughts never happened, until they creep back to the front of my mind.

    Like (1)

  5. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 Sep 27th, 2012 at 11:01PM

    Oh how I do understand what you are saying.

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  6. TheSquirrel - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by TheSquirrel May 29th, 2012 at 11:18AM

    We aren't deliberately toxic, we are OCD. Those of us who are obsessively compulsive can latch onto something and beat it beyond death. I have spent a lot of time learning ways to deal with it, but occasionally I still feel so guilty about things I did to others or stupid actions I took 30+ years ago. I guarantee you that no one else remembers these things at all.

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  7. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:21AM

    I hadn't thought of the OCD thing. Perhaps it is that. We want perfectionism and want to rectify that which wasn't and it bugs us maybe? Interesting.

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  8. TheSquirrel - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by TheSquirrel May 29th, 2012 at 11:30AM

    It is interesting, I'll give you that. But it sucks to be prone to it or worse, to be OCD and married to OCD. Heaven. Simply heavenly.

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  9. 5thApprentice - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by 5thApprentice May 29th, 2012 at 11:06AM

    I guess its there way of remembering life lessons so they dont fall for the same bull in the future

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  10. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:15AM

    now that is a good point!

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  11. foroh9 - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by foroh9 May 29th, 2012 at 11:02AM

    Maybe because they have a strong sense of justice and no practical recourse for countering what they perceive as injustices. So the only thing they feel they can do is to swallow it. Then it just festers and embitters them for a long time, until it either dissolves away over time or is otherwise purged.

    Like (1)

  12. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:05AM

    You make some great points to think about. Thank you.

    Like (1)

  13. MrNaughty - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by MrNaughty May 29th, 2012 at 10:57AM

    You should speak to my ex!!!!!

    Like (1)

  14. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:04AM

    Maybe I'll pass on that one.

    Like (1)

  15. Onlyinmydreams123 - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by Onlyinmydreams123 May 29th, 2012 at 10:55AM

    When people harp and dwell on things, which I must say, I am guilty of doing myself. Usually they haven't fully accepted the outcome of the situation, so they find it very hard to move on from it.

    Like (1)

  16. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:05AM

    ahhh so acceptance may be a key component.

    Like (1)

  17. Dirtyvagas - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Dirtyvagas May 29th, 2012 at 10:55AM

    because humans are so caught up in the this and the that of life they can't let anything go just the way some of us are made

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  18. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:06AM

    So it becomes perhaps a viscous cycle.

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  19. Dirtyvagas - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by Dirtyvagas May 29th, 2012 at 11:09AM

    vicious even

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    2 more replies
  20. dmichaelangelo - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by dmichaelangelo May 29th, 2012 at 10:54AM

    Because there are toxic people out there who cause this to happen.

    Like (1)

  21. SmartSweet1 - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by SmartSweet1 May 29th, 2012 at 11:12AM

    That could be part of it.

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