It could be that they just don't love in the way you understand or think love should be like. However there are people who have no capacity to love because they totally lack the quality of empathy and they do not have a conscience- so they are only able to see life through their own perspective. There are a lot of people like this out there - even successful people- it is very sad. <br />
To love is a result of three things: nature(genes), nurture(environment, and free will.
I think that people are a product of their upbringing, they cannot love or forgive because they may have been taught to be cold and calloused by whoever they were raised by. however, they have choices like anyone else. at some point in their lives this was brought to their attention. They had the choice to change it, but chose not to. If they truly wanted to learn how, they would have found a way, there is too much information out there and too many people who are and were more than willing to teach. they simply are comfortable being who and what they know, and it's too much work to be any other way. I believe everyone has the ability to feel love and compassion. they may just show it in their own way, and it may not be in the way we think it should be. Then, there are the few that are just straight up evil. They were hurt or abused at some point and want everyone they come around to feel the same way, and make it their life's mission, or will die trying, to inflict every horrible thing they have in their power, because if they can't feel any other way, they'll make damn sure no one else can either. It's beyond tragic, and very scary.
maybe they've been hurt too many times..
I think everyone has the ablity to love and forgive but they chose to do so or not, out of choice.
Some people view these as a weakness. Others simply don't know how to let themselves love or forgive. To do either is to give up control of the situation. At least that's what I tell myself.
I personally do not feel that all virtues belong to all people. The ability to love is a high virtue in life, as is to forgive. It is not true and never will be true that all people feel love or forgiveness. When you spot someone who doesn't, and by their actions it will show, you must act accordingly, don't let yourself be hurt too many times.
Some people just give up on forgivness and love because they've been hurt so much, just like the above said. <br />
Some people have just been brought up stubborn. Refuse to forgive because that's what they believe in. <br />
And some don't love, because they maybe, have never been shown love and therefore don't know how to give it.
If these things are innate for you, you are fortunate. They are not innate for everyone.<br />
For some people they are a learned behaviour, and others never learn these things.
It is do to people who do not know how to be honest and faithful!
For some, self-righteousness and sanctimony are apparently more important than cutting people some slack or relaxing things to the point where maybe judgments aren't so important. Sometimes, people just have to be better than everyone else, rather than be bigger and maybe turn the other cheek or let things go - shame, really. :(
I think it is because they let their selfishness (that's why they are unable to love) and pride (that's why they are unable to forgive), rule or get in the way.
I don't believe these are our innate gifts. We learn we are lovable from our parents or our mother when we were in her womb. Perhaps people who have no ability to love were not loved by their mothers or felt love from them. We need to love ourselves before we can feel love for another.
My hub is Italian...he doesnt want to forgive and just can't.<br />
I think he loves many people in spite of himself.