Why do some people think that if you end a dysfuntional/abusive relationship, you are a quitter?

Leaving an abusive relationship never makes you a quitter. It makes you a winner.

My alcoholic ex called me a quitter when I divorced him. I told him that was fine, he was right. I QUIT THIS SH*T! Twelve years of my life was long enough to try and make it work with someone who could only put effort into lifting his beer to his mouth and bullying me and the rest of the family. I just chalked it up to one of the many names he called me that were untrue and unfair and moved on. My life is totally much better now, and I feel more like a winner than I ever did when he was in it.

I have read your posts regarding this marriage. I think that its you that is convicting yourself.
You know that this man is sick, he is indeed mentally ill.
If you had known this before your vows, would you have married him anyway? If you think about it, you cannot blame yourself.
Sometimes, when a marriage goes this bad, You have to think of your own health of mind an body. If it means you need to simply leave the state and start over, then do it. Whatever happens, just dont ask.
LET go and let the Lord take care of this.
This person, could literally make you sick.

I wish you well, and good courage.

Because they secretly envy you.

Oh, because you're supposed to work through your problems, you're supposed to negotiate, give ground, understand each other and all that other wonderful equine fecal material. Been there, done that ... and most importantly, got the papers that says, I'm DONE.

Eventually and sometimes later than sooner, you realize that there is no cure, no salve, no equation, advice or aphorism which is going to remedy a relationship that never should have been. It may make you a survivor, a winner or whatever, but in any event, know that you have accomplished something. You have done your own Harry Houdini number and escaped.

people who think you should stay in abusive and dysfunctional relationships are messed up...all they could possibly offer is the oppinions of someone who is messed up...concider the source i guess

That's "their opionion', but it doesn't mean you have 'to take it on board' "who cares'???!!!!

"i'd rather get out of a "toxic relationship", and 'be a quiter', than 'be a 'brainwashed and abused', "seriously"!!!!("been there 2', 'and 'dumped his abusive ***")

this i do not know. i personally think that ending such a relationship is the responsible grown-up thing to do. it's also extremely difficult and i have the utmost respect for anyone who has been able to do this.

Because some people are idiots. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be.

no one deserves to be abused EVER. you are loved by at least one person on this world. Your partner is suppose to be your best friend. Not the one that makes you feel bad. If this is physical, you don't want to end up dead. and mental, you have one life, you deserve to be happy. if it's sexual, gosh get out of there.
Get our while you still can, before you or your partner is killed by some crazy person. namely you!
sometimes the abused have enough.
My moma always told me...don't be someone's doormat and let them walk all over you!
you can do it!. get away, get some couseling and move on with your life. There's more to life than all that.
besides they gave up on you first.

I sometimes think that is all i deserve, and so I continue to stay in a very dysfuntional and emotionally abusive relationship. And it feels like a one way street. One that I cannot seem quit traveling.

Hey, I'd rather be branded a 'quitter' than dead!

That's way society thinks of people when they "give up" I'm "giving up" on a 30 year relationship---it's been dysfunctional right out of the gate---now he and I deserve to be happy--we are polar opposites and it's time for us to move on. Some people think the only thing that can destroy a relationship is cheating (that's how my DH feels) and good lord that is so not true---being cold, distant, emotionally abusive, mentally abusive--all that factors in--being a drunk is another huge key---so--now it's time to cut the facade--and go about it on our own--as mentioned--he deserves to be happy doing what he wants and I will be happy doing what I want.

Maybe those folks are the abusers...

Why because you will have let yet another dysfunctional/abusive loser back out onto the street.

So get a new can of mace, new batteries for the cattle prod and some Neetsfoot oil for the whip and get back in there.

Your marriage vows said clearly, until Death do us part. So lunching regularly with a good criminal attorney might be in order.

Sometimes there is so much damage that time together will not heal you.Maybe a separation is needed.

If you truly feel this person will not change then you owe it to yourself to get out. Its not your fault sometimes thing are too far gone to fix.

Good luck