Why do women have a hard time with role playing with "another man" and how does it make you feel?
Looking for answers from couples and women that have reached a point of wanting to make sure they don't forget their other half in our busy lives. This is about letting someone you love know you still want to "live life" together. Doctor/patient scenario whatever
7 Answers to "Why do women have a hard time with role playing with "another man" and how does it make you feel?"
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can only speak for myself but I love roleplaying, to answer your question my husband and I do love it and it is not difficult for all women. It may just be the roleplaying scenario you chose to start off with. First and foremost I applaud you for wanting to spice up and make your marriage work, it truly shows you love your wife. There are many unknown variables needed to answer this question fully. For example how close you too really are may determine the starting off point. If you are already close or openly intimate then asking her to roleplay will be easy. If not talk about spicing things up that you would like to try to roleplay. Ask her what type of roleplay's she would be interested in and go from there. My husband and I did the same. We talked about what we would like to have happen in the roleplay ( a loose sc
ript so to speak). We went shopping together for toys, the outfits etc. I even made some.
Another question might be how open is your wife to exploring new sexual experiences. You may have to start off really slow and work your way up to roleplaying. Start off by extra caresses or leaving love notes around. Women need lots of foreplay. Maybe give her a full body massage for her, use ky intense lube, buy a sex toy like a vibrator if she doesn't already have one lol. Toys in the bedroom are a great way to start spicing up your relationship. I made an adult toy box up it holds my vibrators, butt plugs, feathers, blindfold, cuffs. lube etc, Find out where her comfort zone is and go from there. This will make her feel safe, more secure and special in your relationship to let go and open up for more experiences. My husband never walks by without touching me somehow caresses, kisses, hand on shoulder or even a smack on the butt. Tell her and show her how much you are turned on by her. Does it for me!
Most important is communication, you have to be open and honest about that you want sexually ask her what she would like sexually, Opening the dialogue is the first step to a closer sex filled relationship. After having that new experience talk about it what you both liked and didn't like about it. Go from there. Never stop trying new things and new ways to pleasure each other. You will find out what works for you. Maybe do some online research about fantasies. Also when my hubby and I first started roleplaying. I thought it was my hubby not happy with me, that he wanted something else for himself because he was not happy with our relationship. He quickly set me straight, it was because he loves me that he wants me to experience these things with him. He wanted different ways to turn me on it was about me, not him. That was the best surprise in the relationship I could ever ask for. He always makes sure I come first in the relationship. We have found what works for us you will too. Hope this helped. Good Luck!Like (2)
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First thank you. The last part about you realizing it was about you is exactly my point to her. I have made important steps. I was the one who bought her the first toy and I did buy something she would be comfortable trying. She was open to it but to shy to go in a store. It went very well first time with us together. She has gone to a "party" and on her own with continuing to ask me "what about you" assuring her pleasure was for me. Can't wait to have opportunity to try. I know we have the ability to make this work. Did you have a fear of showing your husband that you were excited?What I mean is would you get carried away? This is of course why you talk. And what if you were or were not going in all the directions you wanted. Once again thank you
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Your welcome, I think my situation differs a bit because I am very sexually turn on in fact horny all the time. I like the kinky play as my username states bisubmissivewife but even though I am very sexually open to try new things I am very shy, I too have a difficult time stepping out of my comfort zone but with lots of love and reassurance from my hubby I am able to play different ways. for ex. I love to go to a restaurant in a dress tell my hubby half way through a meal I am not wearing panties. One of our more resent purchases was a remote control vibrator. He would like to have me wear this when we go to a restaurant, I am very hesitant but the thought of it is awesome. I am sure with his support we will sometime very soon. No I have no problem showing my hubby that I am excited by him. If your wife feels this way maybe have her ********** with you watching? The discussion after we play is how I need more or less of something, what he or I liked and what he and I didn't like. Communication is what will get you through what ever you are going through. Sometime I check out the site lovingyou.com
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I'm not sure. I wouldn't have a problem with this; I like role-playing and sorts. She could be insecure about a few things and feel uncomfortable about that.
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Maybe it's just not a source of pleasure or fun for her.Like (1)
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My wife wouldn't have a hard time with role playing but she is more into the real world so role playing has a childish feel to her. Role playing wouldn't arouse my wife at all; it would likely just get her giggling and feeling silly. It's kind of like hop-scotch to her; something she did as a kid but something she outgrew.
I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with role playing or any other kind of harmless fantasy sex but it is fantasy sex as opposed to real sex. Fantasy sex is only a turn n for people that are very into fantasy sex.Like (1)
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I understand your point I do. It is still real and its between you both. But it's a foreplay to lead to quality time together when life makes it harder to have. If you were put on the spot to answer what you find or love about your wife you could answer. It's like when you do something or she does that makes you proud. And you already do it whether you think so or not. When she gives you that look or when she puts on a nighty she is being the sexy women you claim you love. I am sure you do and you find yourself checking her out. Who are you at that split moment. No one it's holy crap, oh ya, dammmm, and then you snap out of it and enjoy each other with you being you and her being her. I love looking across at a room at my wife thinking about what I would like to be doing right now. It's making an effort which sorry to say people have forgotten what marriage is about.
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When people talk about role playing I always imagine things like a wife dressed in a nurse outfit or people breaking out whips and chains. I don't really associate the things you mentioned with role playing; I associate them more as foreplay in a good marriage. My wife and I certainly do that and all the couples that I know (with solid marriages) do that too.
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They are faithful, don't want to be pushed into a "role" that they feel is demeaning, fear of STD's and the following expectation that this "role-playing" will escalate-or maybe they have kids and self-worth. Perhaps it not a hard time as is is disgust at the thought that her man is pimping her out
Better Q for you- why isn't one faithful loving woman enough for you-Like (1)
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I apologize for not doing a better job at my question first one. Your response is miss understanding my intent. Not looking to "pimp out" or whatever negative idea you had. I will do better on my question next time.
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Same reason men are better and more into video games. They like the imagination and role playing and women prefer the real thing. Oh, and because while men are busy playing around, we're usually doing all the work around the house. (okay, that last one was just a random dig...but it felt good!)
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I think I should have phrased my question better. Still learning here but it was not meant to be demeaning. It is an attempt to strengthen my relationship and it is quite obvious that not all people are with someone who is sincere or have been hurt. My apologies learning lesson will be more detailed on intent of question first.
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I think you worded it just fine. Men just happen to be more interested in role playing than women. Just a gender preference in my opinion.
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Not quite sure what you are talking about here.
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I am looking to try to increase my wife's and my desire for one another. It's not that it is not there but life has away of putting our time on the back burner. And if it were simple plan a night were I was to meet her somewhere and the simple my name is whomever and she is whomever but its still us but with that type of mind set your on a date and not thinking about how tired and all the crap that impedes you both keeping that very important part of intimacy alive.
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This is a very very very good but gut wrenching film. It does not have a feel good ending. http://youtu.be/so5dcpGZ7Bk
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Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by FattyBumppo 1 Dec 9th, 2012 at 12:55PM
Maybe make it cheesy and fun at first so there doesn't have to be a serious commitment to the fantasy and you both can just dip your toes in the whole role-playing situation.
Carl van Caquenbawls going on a date with Winifred Wigglebottom. Fake accents, lots of giggling..
(If just being silly and having fun doesn't bring you closer already) You can amp up the realism while you're out, as fast as you're both comfortable, or raise it over the course of several dates. I'm not a woman, but I know I would be uncomfortable as all hell with this situation if I had to take it seriously right away.
Anyway, good luck! Rekindling something can be harder than lighting it up in the first place. :(
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